carl_n Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I've been dating this girl on and off for about a year with a couple of months breaks here and there. Haven't actually met more than 20-25 times and we haven't been doing the date stuff but rather just hung out at eachothers houses. But we were intimate with eachother. Last week she was being distant so we talked about it and she said she wasn't sure about what she wanted, that she liked me but wasn't in love. She also thought I was more emotionally invested than her. I told her I'm pretty sure I wasn't but that I do like her. I don't know. The only thing I can think of was that just before she went distant I had sent her a text that I had been thinking about her (amongst other things). So we took a week to think about things and now she said that this doesn't lead to anything, that she isn't in love and that she just wants to be friends. It's not the first time she freaked out, saying those things, that she liked me but wasn't in love (essentially she's very afraid of not being able to reciprocate feelings, so she over-analyze alot of things and gets scared). This is though the first time she said she just wants to be friends. I said that we're attracted to eachother and attraction has nothing to do in a friendship. She said she was only interested in being friends. I think this was just a get out of jail free card from her since I've said it before that i'm not friends with girls i'm attracted too. So I sent her a text saying that I should've taken her on proper dates, that we should've done this the right way rather than just hang out and watch tv and such. She didn't respond so now I don't know what to do. Has anyone been in a situation like this? I want her, and I want her to see that there is potential to be realized if we actually take a proper shot at it. Can I achieve this at all? Or is it something she must realize herself? And yes, I will start dating others but she is something though. And I can't just throw away what potential there might be there.
grkBoy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I don't think this has anything to do with how you guys did things. TV or dinner out, time together is time together. The "intimate with each other" thing is what tells me it's dating, or something like that. That this isn't you wanting her to be more while she's only treating you as a friend. She's a flake. Move on. I've met loads of these in my life. They're all into you or into being with you until you show emotion...then they run. Often they run back to the ex who treated them badly or someone like him. Best things to do in this situations is politely reject the friendzone and see other women. If she really likes you, then she'll make drama when she sees you're going out with other women...in which case you can tell her to "put up or shut up", meaning she either gives a RL with you a try or she can go away. Date other women...find one who doesn't flake.
Author carl_n Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 I don't think this has anything to do with how you guys did things. TV or dinner out, time together is time together. The "intimate with each other" thing is what tells me it's dating, or something like that. That this isn't you wanting her to be more while she's only treating you as a friend. She's a flake. Move on. I've met loads of these in my life. They're all into you or into being with you until you show emotion...then they run. Often they run back to the ex who treated them badly or someone like him. Best things to do in this situations is politely reject the friendzone and see other women. If she really likes you, then she'll make drama when she sees you're going out with other women...in which case you can tell her to "put up or shut up", meaning she either gives a RL with you a try or she can go away. Date other women...find one who doesn't flake. Yeah, we slept together, kissed all that. It's just now she pulled the friend card. I guess I do realize she's not displaying an emotionally healthy behavoir i.e running away as soon as I show a tiny bit of emotions towards her. I did ofcourse rejected the being friends request, that was just silly from her. She knew the answer before she asked the question. We live in a big enough town to make it virtually impossible to run into eachother so the chance of her seeing me with another woman is slim to nothing. So, the right course of action should be not to have any contact with her? If she contacts me, then we'll see what happens. If not, well, c'est la vie.
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