yoga0302 Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I am so confused, sad and feel sick to my stomach. Simply, I am "involved" with a man who I met online, but not on a dating site. He just instant messaged me a few months back and I like a dumb blonde, responded. I found myself "liking" him, we have some amazing conversations about football, Obama, music, and culture. He was nice to bounce ideas off. I gave him space, he says he wants me to be his "companion"-----what the heck is a companion?? Anyways, I will and never have chased a guy. But lately he has been ignoring me and doesn't respond to an email or if he is online, I have to IM first. Tonight, he signed offline and just left me hanging. Am I fool or what? I demand respect and give him respect. Also, he says no to talking on the phone. Is that weird or what? Thanks for any advice, love Love Shack!
wannabdone Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Can you give some more info? How long has this been going on? Have you not met this man in person? Is he M? Or do you know? Don't you find it a little odd that he just IM'd you out of the blue???? Does that not make you feel uncomfortable with today and how people are?
BklynGuy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 So you met a guy online, aren't dating or anything & he doesn't respond to you. Let it go, there's nothing to stress about that I can see.
MissBee Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 (edited) So you met a guy online, aren't dating or anything & he doesn't respond to you. Let it go, there's nothing to stress about that I can see. I agree. Sometimes we trouble our heads over things that are inconsequential. If you met this man online, don't truly know him from a can of paint and already feel like you're chasing him and that he may not be respecting you and is being shady (no calls etc)....let it go and move on. Nothing lost. *shrug* You should be more concerned about why this bothers you so much and why you're hung up on some essential stranger who is good to bounce ideas off but otherwise you know nothing about. I do understand feeling sick to your stomach and upset over a boyfriend or guy you've been seeing when the relationship is on the rocks; however, for someone you're not involved with in a significant way, it's a bit more strange I'm sorry you feel bad but you would have lost absolutely nothing by leaving this man alone. Trust me. People divorce or break up with people they've shared years of their life with and go on to live and love again, furthermore putting an end to online communication with some guy who wants you for a companion but you can never call him. He is shady and he is already not the best guy you can find so leave him be and don't chase him neither should you respond when he decides to come sniffing around again as most likely you'll end up back in the same place you're in now: confused, hurt, feeling rejected etc. Edited September 19, 2011 by MissBee
Author yoga0302 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 This has been going on for about a year. I think I do know who he is but that would make him married with children. Basically, he sends me an email every morning and I respond in the evening or every few days. It was just cute at first now I don't understand him/"this" anymore. I do date, believe me, I am not sitting at home waiting for him. He tells me to hang in there and give it a year. I stay busy with work/college and I just don't get it. Oh, he also sends me semi-nude pics of guys to see if I like them. Our conversations are very intellectual, the pics I could care less. He does not know I am seeing my guy, but knows I date. I do appreciate the advice.
wannabdone Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 This has been going on for about a year. I think I do know who he is but that would make him married with children. Basically, he sends me an email every morning and I respond in the evening or every few days. It was just cute at first now I don't understand him/"this" anymore. I do date, believe me, I am not sitting at home waiting for him. He tells me to hang in there and give it a year. I stay busy with work/college and I just don't get it. Oh, he also sends me semi-nude pics of guys to see if I like them. Our conversations are very intellectual, the pics I could care less. He does not know I am seeing my guy, but knows I date. I do appreciate the advice. There is NO possible way that you know him as you say. You only know what he tells you. You have no idea if he is who he says he is, or if he has young children buried under his house. I know you said you aren't waiting around for him and you are dating. So what gives with the sick to my stomach, etc? If you have never met this man, and you are not waiting around and having fun dating....why are you talking about it?
MissBee Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 This has been going on for about a year. I think I do know who he is but that would make him married with children. Basically, he sends me an email every morning and I respond in the evening or every few days. It was just cute at first now I don't understand him/"this" anymore. I do date, believe me, I am not sitting at home waiting for him. He tells me to hang in there and give it a year. I stay busy with work/college and I just don't get it. Oh, he also sends me semi-nude pics of guys to see if I like them. Our conversations are very intellectual, the pics I could care less. He does not know I am seeing my guy, but knows I date. I do appreciate the advice. What do you hope for in this situation? On one hand you're saying you date, you're not waiting for him and are making it out to not be a big deal but on the other, you are indeed here, asking for advice, thinking about this and saying you don't get it. What don't you get? It seems he has made it clear through saying you can never call and him being married and so forth, that he will be sketchy. His sketchiness isn't surprising, given the scenario. When he turns off his computer, you have no clue what is going on in his life and when "real life" calls, he may have to disappear and not email you or send you nude pics of other men and so on. I think people need to be honest with themselves....something is casual or it's not, you care or you don't and you have to understand the realistic parameters of the situation you're in and if it doesn't work for you....then leave it be. If a man can only speak to you online, is married, etc...it is safe to say this relationship is very limited and having certain expectations is futile. Are you ever going to meet up? What do you hope to gain? Emails for the next 5 years? If you're in college and dating others...do that! Don't worry yourself about this man and what seems to be just internet fantasies and fun. Live your life! Don't get attached to him...well you already are. I suggest you detach from him and live more in the real world. It's one thing to chat someone up online every now and again casually but it's another to claim you're not waiting for them but clearly you're invested and highly upset over the situation. You shouldn't be. Live your life girl and leave this thing online and casual, because that's all it is!
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Go live life. Offline and meet guys that way. This particular guy is a waste of your time..He isn't even a 'friend', or anybody you can rely on during rough times. You don't know him and him asking you to wait a year or so for him, is nuts. You know he's lying and playing a game, right? fantasy .. The feelings you FEEL may be real, but it's based on words by someone online that you barely know. It's a bubble that is about to break and reality is going to bite you hard. Best thing you can do for yourself is detach and don't rely on this guy for ANYTHING, it is what it is.. Let go, he isn't worth it.
Author yoga0302 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 Thanks to everyone for the push I needed! Life is too short to waste on someone who can't/won't be there for you. I just blocked his email, etc...from my account.
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 And soon, change your email address. Create a new one, add in your contacts, except his. I know it hurts and all, but this is for the best. he's married, he's online and you hoping or believing him that you two will get together 'some day' IS wishful/hopeful thinking..it's never going to happen. Good luck and keep busy, find hobbies, spend time with your friends, family and those who really DO care about you,,keep posting too.
Author yoga0302 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 And soon, change your email address. Create a new one, add in your contacts, except his. I know it hurts and all, but this is for the best. he's married, he's online and you hoping or believing him that you two will get together 'some day' IS wishful/hopeful thinking..it's never going to happen. Good luck and keep busy, find hobbies, spend time with your friends, family and those who really DO care about you,,keep posting too. Thank you! Have a great day-
Gentlegirl Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 WORDS ON A SCREEN! He's nothing more.. is he? Go and get yourself man who deosn't have a screen for a head. GG
Emme Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 You did the right thing. Think of it this way... unless you did have a video chat... you truly don't know who you were speaking to. Remember that when online.
awkward Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Thanks to everyone for the push I needed! Life is too short to waste on someone who can't/won't be there for you. I just blocked his email, etc...from my account. You are a very smart woman. Congratulations!
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