tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Hello, I want to cheat on my husband so he will leave me. Thats the only way he will divorce me. Im not giving my story right away as it is very depressing. I may sound selfish but I think cheating will be what's best for the both of us. I know that some of you will be against me cheating no matter what the story is but while I want to at the same time something keeps holding me back. Am I crazy for feeling this way?
bentnotbroken Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Hello, I want to cheat on my husband so he will leave me. Thats the only way he will divorce me. Im not giving my story right away as it is very depressing. I may sound selfish but I think cheating will be what's best for the both of us. I know that some of you will be against me cheating no matter what the story is but while I want to at the same time something keeps holding me back. Am I crazy for feeling this way? Yes, you are.
Bryanp Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I really do not think anyone can give you any reasonable advise unless we know the reasons why you feel this way.
noddingyes Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 It does sound crazy. First, why have sex for the sake of having sex? Does it mean so little to you? You don't need your husband's permission...if you feel so strongly you want to leave him (not knowing your reasons) just say you can't stay in the marriage and leave. Insist on a divorce. Don't do something foolish you'll regret, ie: cheating. Find away to get out of your marriage without involving someone else and giving away your self respect.
D-Lish Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 No one can really give you any kind of good advice without knowing the story behind why you feel the need to do this.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 My husband is a great guy, is assertive when need be, caring when he needs to be and even works and pays all the bills while im in med school. The problem(s) are that I dont feel like i'm good enough for him. We've only been married for a year but i've been in love with him ever since I met him but I feel so terrible and guilty. I have a medical condition where sex not only hurts but my body has been attacking my stuff down there and i didn't know until I was 18. So my body is literally sort of eating "down there" and sex only makes it worse. It's not that I cant have sex but i can only go about a minute before i start having immense pain and then i have to take a break with my husband for about an hour. (I remember once we had sex for 5 minutes and i ended up going to the er cause i was bleeding alot and I naturally only have 2 periods a year) I also discovered I cant have children cause my body will eat the baby (he got me pregnant before we got married and when we got the results and had a ultrasound and seen a headless baby, yeah it did something to us) but he married me knowing all of this but it's just that what happens if he gets tired of me and the fact that im useless? I talked to him about it but he just says im just being silly and he'd never leave me but that comes to my next problem. Im not the skinnest girl and im not fat but I cant loose weight because of my strict diet. I already work out like crazy but I still find myself a 7 and my husband is more of a 12 and when we are together he gets hit on all of the time by slutty women and he blows them off cause he doesn't feel the same way about those types of women but, what happens when i'm unable to have sex anymore? or if they cant fix me and he wants a "real" woman? Why should i have to put him through that torment? I cry everyday and sometimes when we try to have sex. He doesn't make me do any work and i feel so lazy all of the time. Some women are like, your so lucky you dont have to do work but I cant see why they say that. I tried telling him I want a divorce but he said he wouldn't leave me only if i cheated. I've tried telling him how I feel. Therapists just pitty me and tell me how bad they feel for me, they NEVER give me any advice. I really just want to pay a man to be like yeah I'm her lover so he'd leave me. He literally WONT let me leave because he said im the best thing for him. I just want things to end now while we are young before anything else complicates things. He doesn't abuse me but I feel like im abusing him every moment we are together. Maybe i should be a single lady with 30 million cats or something. Or ask to work 150 hours a week when I become a surgeon.
D-Lish Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 well, you will work a lot of hours when you become a surgeon. I never saw my dad growing up... If you're really in med school, you have to be exploring your medical condition, right? You have to know there are solutions to the physical problem. Options to angage at the very least.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 I kinda gave up on my condition, I no longer have the strength to be in med school and to get my body examined. I almost failed a year of school because of how much i was at the doctor. I was told only around 500 people were reported with my medical condition and none of them wanted to be test subjects. I dont really want to be one either but I want to get better. Every time the doctor does tests or anything of that sort im usually out for a week.
Bryanp Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Your husband clearly loves you very much. It is sad that you just don't get it. He has real love for you and all you want to do is hurt him so he will divorce you and find someone else. I am truly sorry for everything you are going through. Your husband is a very deep person but you come across as shallow because you do not know what you have. If the roles were reversed would you drop him because he was ill? You may be in medical school but you are a very foolish woman.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 No, I would never leave him but he can get and have any woman he wants but why would he want someone as broken as me? I want whats best for him. His whole family doesnt like me at all and they tell him he shouldve gotten with a real woman and they tell him this to my face and I ask him why didnt he get with a real woman who could truly make him happy for the rest of his life but he never answers. I dont care if I come off shallow because I look at it from his point of view. In less than 5 years he'll want kids. He DOES NOT believe in adopting at all while I do. He might love me now but what about in 5, or 10, or 15 years when I truly have nothing to offer him?
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 Why am I so foolish? And why cant I see what I have?
Sooner or Later Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I really think you should leave him--if you think cheating is the only answer to your marital issues, the marriage is done. Or...you could open up like this to him for one more chance at happiness as a married couple.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 I really think you should leave him--if you think cheating is the only answer to your marital issues, the marriage is done. Or...you could open up like this to him for one more chance at happiness as a married couple. What happiness could someone like me give him? I dont think cheating is the only answer but he wont let me divorce him unless I cheat on him, so i just want to hire someone to say hes my lover so he'll think im cheating. I know that sounds bad.
Disillusioned_Wife Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 http://www.health.harvard.edu/fhg/updates/update0703c.shtml is this your condition? if so it's treatable.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 No, I wish it was. My body is literally eating my own vagina. Like an autoimmune disease but not at the same time.
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Hello, I want to cheat on my husband so he will leave me. Thats the only way he will divorce me. Im not giving my story right away as it is very depressing. I may sound selfish but I think cheating will be what's best for the both of us. I know that some of you will be against me cheating no matter what the story is but while I want to at the same time something keeps holding me back. Am I crazy for feeling this way? Sorry to be blunt, but where are your balls, so to speak? Instead of cheating and betraying your husband in the worst way, and becoming a 'cheater' why not just tell him YOU want to divorce? Your way of thinking is not normal and whatever it is that your story is, depressing etc, GET HELP, go to therapy and get strong so you can divorce your husband a healthier and easier way rather than doing something wrong and selfish. What's holding you back is ... YOUR gut and conscious! you know it's wrong and can't bring yourself to actually follow through. So, don't!
country_gurl Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 (edited) No, I wish it was. My body is literally eating my own vagina. Like an autoimmune disease but not at the same time. So what's the name of this rare condition? Edited September 19, 2011 by country_gurl
insaneinthebrain Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I really think that you have to give him the choice to be there for you .. Its really selfish that you think that your husband only loves you for sex.... I know.. its sounds wierd.. but trust me when i tell you this.... IF HE LOVES YOU ... he will stick it out ...no matter what... THATS LOVE... YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOUR SELF FORTUNATE THAT YOU HAVE SOMEONE THAT TRULY LOVES YOU.... THAT MEANS THAT YOUR WORTH LOVING...l EVEN IF YOU CANT HAVE CHILDREN..... OR YOU CANT ENJOY SEX..... THERE ARE OTHER THINGS YOU CAN DO IN THE BED ROOM...... are oral and anal sex off limits to you ..... .. i mean ... .. trust me... THIS WOULDNT BE A DEAL KILLER FOR ME IF I REALLY LOVED SOMEONE............ YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE AN AFFARI WITH HIM... but you need to tell him how you feel.. and you need to give him the right to choose...!!!!!!!!!!!! i really hope you dont hurt your husband by having an affair and cheating..... because your are just gonna hurt someone that loves you ..... and obviously loves you alot..!! best wishes
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Do the test trials and see if it works. Do you want a chance at feeling better? Think about doing the test trials, talk to your husband, who clearly loves you. All we truly have is the NOW. Anything could happen 3, 5, 10 years down the line, so you choosing to divorce or cheat on him NOW all for what? Fear that he may resent you one day and leave you? That could happen reguardless of your health issue, so don't speak for him on this. Right now he loves you and you need to believe and have some faith. He knows of your issues, yes? Do counselling because your self image is poor and you need to build yourself back up again.. Your condition does NOT define you as a person. Remember that!
insaneinthebrain Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Sorry to be blunt, but where are your balls, so to speak? Instead of cheating and betraying your husband in the worst way, and becoming a 'cheater' why not just tell him YOU want to divorce? Your way of thinking is not normal and whatever it is that your story is, depressing etc, GET HELP, go to therapy and get strong so you can divorce your husband a healthier and easier way rather than doing something wrong and selfish. What's holding you back is ... YOUR gut and conscious! you know it's wrong and can't bring yourself to actually follow through. So, don't! I think that her condition has caused sever self esteem problems with her... im sure it would cause any normal woman self estem issues knowing that you cant "please" their husband physically. she must be really affraid that one day he will just walk out on her because of her condition... and thats a real risk... but you know what ..obviously ..that hasnt been the case yet..!
country_gurl Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Ahem. Anyone else thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? *whistling*
whichwayisup Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Yes and yes. But, just incase it isn't.. The counselling is a MUST, and I hope you bring your husband to counselling too. Work it out, give it your best and see what happens.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 So what's the name of this rare condition? My condition doesnt have a name because there were not enough cases of the condition nor test subjects and such to actually define the condition.
Author tyra231 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 Ahem. Anyone else thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? *whistling* What exactly are you thinking?
insaneinthebrain Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 they think your a troll.... .. .... in all honesty... your story sounds rare... but it is very plausible... i know for a fact that there are people out there that have rare medical conditions all the time.. IT DOES HAPPEN..
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