SC Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Last night my girlfriend finished with me after 9 months of going out. We didn't break up on bad terms, she still wants to be my friend. But we broke up over something stupid. Things were a bit bad a few weeks ago, I felt like she was avoiding me. It made me feel like I had to reach her no matter what. I was having a bad time anyway and I needed her support and when I didn't get it I started to feel empty and alone. She is going to Durham next year, and at the moment we're in Stafford. I want to do a masters course anyway the year after next and I told her I want to do it at Durham, not entirely because of her, but a big part of it was. When I said that she completly distanced herself, she stopped loving me. Since then things have been awful, shes been trying to love me again but she just doesn't see me as the same person. I am the same person, I havethe same personality, but I was having a really rough ride and I did it to try and be within reach of her. But now we have split up I feel like I messed it all up, and that its a stupid thing to lose just on that premise. I want to try and bring our relationship back together, for her to give me one more chance so that maybe one day she will love me again the way she did. I love her so much and I feel so empty. It may be futile in me trying but our relationship meant so much to me that I cannot just let it die. I don't think I complimented her enough. I told her I loved her, but I never told her why, and what I saw in her. I hope that if I do this she may egin to warm back to me. Has anyone else been in the same situation, and have you succeeded? Please, I need hope, and advice.
hurtingandconfused Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 But now we have split up I feel like I messed it all up, and that its a stupid thing to lose just on that premise. Give it time you will think differently. When a breakup happens people think irrationally. A relationship is not one sided. If 1 person messed up it was because the other was not doing their job. I want to try and bring our relationship back together, for her to give me one more chance so that maybe one day she will love me again the way she did. If you can accomplish this I suggest for you to write a book on how you did it. It's impossible for someone(1 person) to bring a relationship back together. It takes 2, if one does not want to reconcile, then there is no point in trying. I'd like to add that you can never make someone love you. Good luck...and.. ...Don't look back..
Author SC Posted May 11, 2004 Author Posted May 11, 2004 I appreciate I can't make her love me, at the end of the day if she is so insistent that she can't then I won't try to force her. But what if her decision was also irrational? I can't just leave our relationship on a possible irrational decision, although possibly one I made pushed her away I'm hoping that she really didn't want to say what she did. Everyone I've been talking to has been trying to discourage me from doing this, but for me this relationship, this person, is too important to let go so lightly. If it had been for another reason then maybe I could just let her go, but not for this. I have to at least try, at least encourage her to consider giving me a bit more time. To me she is perfect, and if I have to let her go I don't know how easy or hard it will be. Thanks for your advice. If I do, maybe I will write a book.
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 Originally posted by Staffs_comms Things were a bit bad a few weeks ago, I felt like she was avoiding me. It made me feel like I had to reach her no matter what. I was having a bad time anyway and I needed her support and when I didn't get it I started to feel empty and alone. When I said that she completly distanced herself, she stopped loving me. I went through the exact same thing my friend...my only freind left for the military...and i was having a hard time and even though things were the same between us it felt like things were different because i was missing him...But i needed her support as well and i too felt empty and alone... I too said the exact same thing that she distanced herself from me when i needed her most... she too still wants to be freinds and we stil talk alot im still trying to figure out what to do here too, so the best i can tell you is to not try and sound so needy... make it look like you are still happy and you can get by without her... she sint going to want to come back to a miserable sad guy and she doesnt wanna see that she is responsible for making someones life miserable... dont keep forcing the issue and asking her how she feels about you..just let it aside for a while and let the decision come natural to her...you dont want to force anyone to love you, do you?you want it to be that she realizes what she had and she wants you back
MESO Posted May 11, 2004 Posted May 11, 2004 also dont beat yourself up on the things you coulda, shoulda done... you cant change anything and that only hurts yourself more when you jsut replay everything over in your head
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