What do I tell school acquaintances who want my number without sounding presumptuos?

[Chibaby]

I'm not quite sure what to do. My boyfriend is a jealous guy when it comes to other suitors (aren't we all), but for the most part he keeps it to himself. In high school I was quite the 'ugly duckling' and didn't date much. I was a late bloomer lets say. However, now when I go out on the town, I receive a lot of attention much to my boy's dismay. My problem is sometimes I'll run into an old acquaintance from school who wasn't interested much in me back then, but since I look different physically, they seem to take more of an interest in me now. When my boyfriend isn't around, I'm not sure what to do when they ask me for my phone number. It's awkward, but I don't want to be rude and diss them till the reunion. They all say the same thing "lets catch up" when it's obvious there isn't any catching up to do since we didn't speak in high school. I don't want to be rude since we are acquaintances, but whenever I give them my number they are interested in more than "catching up." How do I tell them I have a boyfriend without seeming rude or presumptuous?

[Pyrannaste]

"Sorry, I'd love to catch up with you but I have a boyfriend whom i don't allow to get ladies numbers. So It's just fair that I don't give you mine, out of respect to him. Hey, I loved to meet you, it was nice talking to you, I'll be very glad if we bump into each other again some other time."

 

This is my favourite.

And it's very simple and not rude at all.

[Kat]

So let me get this right.

 

You boyfriend doesn't like the fact that other guys hit on you

Your boyfrind would prefer you don't give guys your number

You want to give guys your number who didn't give a hoot about you when you were 'ugly' but now that you have 'bloomed' they are interested and you are okay with this?

 

If these guys only want to have any contact with you because you now look better, than if I was your boyfriend I would be concerned.

[Papillon]

Wow, if that's you in the avatar, CAN I HAVE YOUR NUMBER?!?!

 

To my thinking, you're trying to fix a symptom and not the illness. You're boyfriend has to learn trust and respect for you.

[CurlyIam]

I'm always too happy to meet people I went to high school with, maybe because it wasn't such a long time ago and because I have some great memories... So I don't really understand your problem. If you like those people and want to know things about their lives, you should give out your number and have a cup of coffee with them.

 

Your boyfriend would better get over this issue, as you have the right to have a life, a past and if you feel like it, new friends. Giving out your number means nothing. You can always say "no" if you change your mind or don't feel like going out.

 

Maybe I'm wrong, but I remember this line:"one is never too slim, too rich or have too many friends" I like it!!!!

 

If they bother you, you have no interest in catching up with them... than I believe you can be obvious enough to make your point.And don't think that all people asking for you telephne number will call the next day either, especially if you weren't close friends back than!

 

Doing so because your bf asks you to... in my book: "no way!!"

[dudesomewhere]

your predicament is somehow clouded by common sense and self respect and respect for your beau

 

"I'll run into an old acquaintance from school who wasn't interested much in me back then, but since I look different physically, they seem to take more of an interest in me now. When my boyfriend isn't around, I'm not sure what to do when they ask me for my phone number. It's awkward, but I don't want to be rude and diss them till the reunion."

 

Who on earth values themselves so low as to give someone their number when before these people showed lack of interest in them because they looked different. I can only imagine you thinking this "Sure I'll give you my number eventhough you ignored my existence before."

 

"How do I tell them I have a boyfriend without seeming rude or presumptuous?"

 

Noone who values or respects you would think you are rude if you said you had a boyfriend because you may have been presumptuous. Respect and value yourself, then answers become clear

[CurlyIam]

Originally posted by dudesomewhere

your predicament is somehow clouded by common sense and self respect and respect for your beau

 

"Who on earth values themselves so low as to give someone their number when before these people showed lack of interest in them because they looked different. I can only imagine you thinking this "Sure I'll give you my number eventhough you ignored my existence before."

 

Well, if I were to talk exclusevily with people that were specifically interested in me as a person when I was in high school, I'd be counting them on the fingers of one hand. But it was high school, when you were a teenager and so were they! Hopefully you there are some memories linking you, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to them in the first place.

 

I believe the above stated opinion is exagerated! Who gave a f*ck besides your close friends about you in high school, pretty or not? the game everyone was playing was "the popularity" one. So what if you weren't the most popular girl? It seems to me, specially since you're stating it every time you post, that this still is a big deal to you. IT's gone, you're different, they are different too. The only reason I can see for not giving them your number is if they were not nice to you or if you think that they're uninteresting! Both very personal reasons!

 

Everybody was shallow in high school. Maybe even yourself! The faith you have in yourself reflects in the relationships you are able to develop with those around you. I rest my case!

[Chibaby]

So let me get this right.

 

You boyfriend doesn't like the fact that other guys hit on you

Your boyfrind would prefer you don't give guys your number

You want to give guys your number who didn't give a hoot about you when you were 'ugly' but now that you have 'bloomed' they are interested and you are okay with this?

 

If these guys only want to have any contact with you because you now look better, than if I was your boyfriend I would be concerned.

 

OK, let me straighten this out here. The simple fact is I don't want to give these people my number. I think people definitly change who they were from high school, which is fine, but I really have no interest in 'catching up' with them. On the other hand, I have no interest in being rude to them, or sounding presumtuous, or assuming that since I look different they want to be my friend now. I prefer to give them the benifit of the doubt. I have grown up with these people since I was about six. It doesn't mean I want to date them. My boyfriend doesn't dictate who I can and can't give my number to, he isn't that posessive, and it's ultimately my choice. I don't have any interest in giving my number to these people, nor do I have an interest in assuming the worst of them. Of course I value my relationship now, and I would not do anything to jeopardize that. I am just wondering what the best way is to handle the situation gracefully.

[Kat]

Originally posted by Chibaby

OK, let me straighten this out here. The simple fact is I don't want to give these people my number.

 

Then don't. Plain and simple.

 

Stop being a chicken and then blaming the fact YOU don't want to give them your number on the fact that HE won't let you.

[Chibaby]

Then don't. Plain and simple.

 

Stop being a chicken and then blaming the fact YOU don't want to give them your number on the fact that HE won't let you

 

I NEVER SAID he won't let me. I'm not blaming anyone. I don't give my number out. I just want to know the best way to handle the situation without seeming rude to these people. I have nothing to hide...but it I would think it's strange if I asked someone for their number that I knew from long ago, and they just said flat out "no." I don't think there's anything wrong with being polite about it or giving them a tactful explaination. No need to be so bitter and hostile towards anybody.

[Kat]

Why on earth are you worried about what people who you don't care about, who ignored you at school because you weren't 'pretty enough', and who you have no interest in, think????

[Chibaby]

Why on earth are you worried about what people who you don't care about, who ignored you at school because you weren't 'pretty enough', and who you have no interest in, think????

 

 

 

I created this thread to ask for an appropriate way on how to handle a situation. I like to treat other people in a way which I'd like to be treated, regardless of how they treated me in "high school" so long ago. People change, give them the benifit of the doubt. Just because they acted a certain way then doesn't mean they do anymore. True I have no interest in them, but that doesn't give me license to be disrespectful to them. The post was intended to ask for a tactful way to deal with my acquaintances, nothing more.

[bluechocolate]

Simple really.

 

"I'm seeing someone right now & I don't give my phone number out to other guys. Nice to see you again. Bye."

[CaterpillarGirl]

How about "Well, I'm going to be changing it pretty soon, so why don't you give me your email or something and we can catch up sometime"? Vague and now they have to give you theirs instead.

[Chibaby]

How about "Well, I'm going to be changing it pretty soon, so why don't you give me your email or something and we can catch up sometime"? Vague and now they have to give you theirs instead.

 

Perfect! Simple, vague, (maybe not completely honest) but nice!