Paige1377 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 My ex husband and I were together six years. We have been split up three months, living in different states and houses. We also have a one year old daughter together. He dumped me three months ago saying he is not in love with me and he doesn't think us together is good for the baby. We split bc two years ago we split briefly, he thought I cheated and we got back together and never fixed our trust issues. We were living in Texas as I was a stay at home mom and he was working a management role. We started fighting alot six months before the split, I was bitchy, tired and depressed bc I never left the house and my ex stopped paying attention to me. He pulled away....desperate for space but I thought he was cheating so couldn't stop. I still felt I couldn't trust him. To add insult to injury he started texting this woman non stop before we split I asked him to stop and he wouldn't. My daughter and I left and the next three months I found a job, moved into a duplex and started my life over. He kicked me out.... Now these three months were horrible...I lost him...knew it...I dropped 30 pounds in three months...stressed non stop. He and I talked those three months and we discussed us possibly working. Last time we discussed him and I he told me he cared about me just not how I want, he says we are done for good, that he doesn't find we have an emotional connection anymore. I stop led asking for him back a month ago, but almost every time we talk he has to bring up why we can't be together. He also told me to be alone for a year and to move on and that he doesn't want to have sex with me. To move on I started from the beginning with him...and with our history I saw that I tried to leave him twice and he took me back three times. I think that's why this is hard bc he always came back, and I thought with a child involved he would want to, but he says he's happy. He moved on within two months from me...I don't know if he's dating....bc honestly it's not my business. He's about to move to st Louis while I reside in Kansas. He is doing well with his job, got a promotion and says he is happy. He has come a couple times to see his daughter and avoided me. He said he wants to help me, but doesn't want me confused. When we talked and he said he was done I told him give it a couple months and he didn't respond. I just realized this week I am not a priority in his life....I am just the ex....hurts but I had to accept it. I remember e first four years we were together he fought for me, now he was happy to get me out of his life, and forced me out. When we first got together he begged me to be with him, now I am nothing to him. I had hoped he would comeback, I feel like I failed bc I invested six years, I am 26 with him but I know he won't. The only possibility is if he gets involved with someone else and it's bad he might think of me. I am starting over at 26, no credit bc he put everything in his name no money. I just need help....maybe stories from people who have gone thru something similar. The rejection is the part that kills me most, especially since I gave him a child who he loves very much. Please tell me how you got through this, I am tired of crying everyday while he's moved on and doesn't want me. He's told me, and that stings bc I used to be his everything, now I am nothing.
ConfusedT Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 hi honey. lets see, i was never a stay at home mom, but i have a similar situation with being left. i left him a couple of times, but he always came back, so i figured, hell he'd never leave, but ultimately, he left me on my birthday! he moved all his **** out that weekend and when i came back home, he was gone, disappeared and i had a son with this man. i couldn't get a hold of him for a week+ searching all over the area for him, calling everyone of his friends, family, etc. they were all lying for his dumb self! he finally calls me and you know what he says - i am not in love with you anymore, i am in love with her? im like "who" & the girl, who is on 3-way with me, says "me, i just wanted to prove that he wants me and not you" and they hung up. AMAZING, right, fast forward a week or two and he finally wants to see his kid, mind you i am devestated, but i was much stronger then than i am now, now that i look back on the situation.. he basically strung me along for the next few months, but i finally got over him & the second i was officially DONE, he came running back home- to a closed door. when people treat you wrong, no matter how much you may love them, sometimes your life is truly better without them. you may not feel it then, but when you let go of something bad, something better WILL come along but only if you let it. My current situation is my ex-love of my life (not my son's father btw) left me for his ex and broke , screw that, shattered my heart and it has taken me months to even deal with this situation, i have NEVER been this heartbroken and i have never loved like this before. i figured out that you have let yourself FEEL the PAIN, feel the HURT, don't pretend everything is ok when it isn't. noone understands what you are going through but YOU. so cry when you need to, scream when you need to, yell when you need to, but one day you'll wake up and it will be enough. you will forgive, but never forget and you will continue to love them until your heart and your mind align themselves accordingly. dont be embarassed, you are human, we all are. love will continue to conquer everything, but you have to love yourself first...
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