Casablanca Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I've been talking/seeing to this girl for a couple weeks...we're having our third date on Monday. I'm really into her and she's really into me and our personalities complement each other perfectly, but I do have this small worry that we might be moving a little too fast. I plan on mentioning this to her that I am slightly worried that we might be moving too fast. I like where we are at the moment, and I find her simply amazing, and I'd hate for us to screw it up. I dont have many details because it is just a feeling, we havent slept together yet, definitely nothing like "I love you", a lot of "I like you" type phrases from both of us, are making plans to do things together in the future, like see an orchestra together in December (though not finalized). So typically what are signs of couples moving too fast? I imagine moving in together really soon (which no way anything like that happens), but what else? Outside of moving in too soon and dropping the I Love Yous too soon is it possible to move to fast? If two people meet and are perfect for each other, will they work out no matter how fast they move (short of abuse and cheating)?
veggirl Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Moving too fast at this point, IMO would be things like: making big future plans (trips) cancelling regularly scheduled activities for one another being together more than 2-3x per week leaving things at each others places becoming officially bf/gf making your schedule around her At this point I would say continue going on actual dates. Don't get in the hang out at home rut this early, it seems "comfortable" and all, but it creates false intimacy. I wouldn't mention to her that you are concerned you may be moving too fast. It might freak her out. Just slow things down a bit. Don't text all day every day (if you do). Don't spend 3 hours on the phone. Space your dates a few days apart. It's tempting to jump into an insta relationship when you feel the comfort and chemistry, but you have to have self control. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but IN GENERAL, when people race into things, they fizzle fast. Once you lose the initial "spark", you need to know you will still like HER for her, and vice versa.
coolheadal Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 A another way you can look at this, to you want to be left behind? Are you and this girl willing to be committed fully to each other. Sometimes true love can surpass what's the norm of moving too fast. I got this new girl who's deeply in love with me. I know norm, but it should be taken slower. But it takes so long for something like this to start up and to get someone to really dig-you in my case. So my advise man is go with your heart and mind to make your decision, we can only advise you what to do. The next step is yours! Good Luck!
Author Casablanca Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Moving too fast at this point, IMO would be things like: making big future plans (trips) Not happening cancelling regularly scheduled activities for one another Not happening being together more than 2-3x per week Not Happening leaving things at each others places Never really thought of this, but isnt happening becoming officially bf/gf Really? Usually after the third date is when I bring up exclusiveness, which I was planning to, we've hinted at both wanting it, but havent right out said it making your schedule around her Not doing either At this point I would say continue going on actual dates. Don't get in the hang out at home rut this early, it seems "comfortable" and all, but it creates false intimacy. Don't text all day every day (if you do). Don't spend 3 hours on the phone. Space your dates a few days apart. Random short text conversations here and there each day, more comments than anything...I prefer to get to know people in person so I dont ask too many questions through text I like the advice about going out on dates, I've been there where it just got boring and was a rut, though there were other reasons we couldnt fix the issues. Tomorrow will be our first date just at one of our places...Ive semi planned for us to go to a museum on our next date (not tommrow) and yes it is tempting So my advise man is go with your heart and mind to make your decision, Thats basically what I plan to do, most of what I have heard in the two responses so far seems to be how we're heading...it is tough to hold back as I have never had this instant level of connection with someone I've only know for a few weeks....thankfully she is really busy with school and 2 jobs, it makes it easier for us to not see each other too much just yet
coolheadal Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Good then hold on to this one and don't let her go no matter what.. You'll make the right move.. I wish you the best of luck on this!
Recommended Posts