love is dangerous Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 there this guy whos in a relationship and we made out and his the first guy i have ever felt this kind of passion with im wondering for the time being can we have an affair. there no other guy im interested in at the moment. but i just dont wanna get hurt
whichwayisup Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 If you don't want to get hurt, stay away from this guy. He has a girlfriend, so why bother with someone who isn't available? Seems you're asking for trouble, heartache and pain. Just because you have passion with him and like him, doesn't mean you have to have him. Imagine you having a boyfriend and some other girl feels it's OK or feels she has the right to fool around with YOUR boyfriend because she shares passion with him..Wouldn't it upset you and hurt you that your bf cheated behind your back? Also, what kind of guy fools around with someone else when he already has someone. think about it. There are hundreds of other fish in the sea..Don't bother with this one, throw him back in the water.
Beachgirl8 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Leave him alone. You're only going to create a situation that will eventually cause pain for yourself, for his girlfriend, and for him. Don't do it.
Emme Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 There is no such thing as having sex with someone and not catching feelings. One day, one of you will fall for the other person. Trust me! Don't go there. If you do...beware.
carhill Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 OP, is this guy the same one as in this thread? Also, how old are you and he?
MissBee Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 there this guy whos in a relationship and we made out and his the first guy i have ever felt this kind of passion with im wondering for the time being can we have an affair. there no other guy im interested in at the moment. but i just dont wanna get hurt From the sound of it and the fact you have gone this far to ask about getting hurt and you're scared of it...you don't seem to be in any position to risk it, so I'd take a pass on that. I think it is possible, but I think the first clue is that usually you don't care about this person like that, it's purely sexual, you have no desire to date them, it's not that deep and you don't even think about it enough to get on a forum and talk about it. Usually if you're already thinking about it so much, means you probably are more likely to get way too involved and then you'll end up with that self-fulfilling prophecy of you ending up hurt. You don't seem "strong enough" to be able to manage a situation like that well...no offense, but for all the reasons I've cited, it seems that way, sooo to me, I think you should leave it alone. If you're feeling stuff already like he is "the only one you have passion with"....trust me....it's already a sign. I don't condone affairs period but I will say, I have had an affair so to speak, that I don't even consider an affair, but maybe technically it is, because I was occasionally sleeping with a taken guy; however, I was not his OW, I did not carry on with him as though we were in a relationship, I did not want to date him or be with him, I did not feel like "he was the only" anything, I was attracted to him, we had great sexual chemistry and overall he provided a good ego stroke and shag for me That was it. I was never worried about getting hurt and falling for him. He was not on my radar very deeply at all. I think in situations like that, while there is still risk involved and it's still not right, at least one can probably get out unscathed more so than those who already have feelings and are trying to have an affair, or already feel like the potential AP is "special" or those wishing the person will be theirs only eventually and so forth.
wannabdone Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I agree with everyone else. Stay away, he is taken. Women have a very difficult time having sex with no attachments. Its just the way God made us. And really, who wants to be the woman who can???
Quiet Storm Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 When women have sex, a hormone called oxytocin is released. This is the same hormone that bonds us to our babies when we nurse them. Repeated sex with the same man will usually always result in feelings, because the oxytoxin creates an emotional bond to him. Men have a much easier time separating sex and emotions. Usually if they decide up front that a woman they are with is only FWB material, that won't change over time because they don't allow the lines to get blurred. Usually in this scenario the woman ends up hurt because she falls in love, she projects her feelings onto him and thinks he's falling for her, too. It puts him in awkward position because he ends up feeling responsible for her feelings.
missy268 Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 If you have the choice walk away now honestly you will get attached and it will be harder to walk away in the future I'm hurting right now and I wished I'd of walked away in the first place!! X
Gentlegirl Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 NO. Read and read the posts on here and you will have your answer. GG
spice4life Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 there this guy whos in a relationship and we made out and his the first guy i have ever felt this kind of passion with im wondering for the time being can we have an affair. there no other guy im interested in at the moment. but i just dont wanna get hurt First of all, you don't need a guy in your life in order for you to be happy. And next, I don't think you will be able to handle this without getting hurt because you are already worried. You should say, "thanks but no thanks" and end it before you get into too deep. Take back your power and tell him to call you when he is not attached and only if he is interested in getting to know you as a person he wants to date and just just a fwb's. You are worthy of more and if he can't give you that then enjoy your life and the right person will come along eventually. You need to start asking whether or not they are right for you and not the other way around. He's taken and that should be enough to say see ya later alligator.
ScienceGal Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 there this guy whos in a relationship and we made out and his the first guy i have ever felt this kind of passion with im wondering for the time being can we have an affair. there no other guy im interested in at the moment. but i just dont wanna get hurt Bad idea. This will not end well for you.
TigerCub Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 OP this guy has someone, why walk down that path? as to your question with regards to sex with no emotions: Yes, I've had sex with no emotions, but that was with one night stands, and f**k buddies. The reason I didn't sleep with xMM was because I loved him and I knew that sleeping with him would make my connection to him deeper. Sex with no emotions can work if its not with someone you already have feelings for and its not such a common every day thing that you get hooked on and used to. And just as important, its something you're going into knowing that you DON'T want the person. But just the fact that you're willing to put yourself in the position of the OW for this guy shows that you DO want more from him - so it wont work - walk away. But for you, don't walk down that path, he's got someone, he's proving he's a cheater, please please don't go down that path because you will get hurt - take it from someone who's been there.
Marie63 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Don't mess with a guy that is already taken. You may have new experiences from already being with him. From what I read it seemed you had already had sex and that you were enjoying it. Take that and find a guy that is not in a relationship. If he taught you something, then teach a guy that is loving you how to do it. Will you be hut? Depends on so many things that I cannot answer that question. I wish you the best. You already know the answer before you wrote the question. email me if you want to talk.
Eddie Edirol Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Youre already attached to this guy, so you are going to get hurt when he chooses his gf over you. So for you, in this case, no, the sex you have with him will not be unattached.
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