Jamone Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Hello LS. After trying everything else we finally decided to go MC. The first session went ok. Didn't get through much because of procedures, etc. Anyway, we book 2nd session. 3 hrs before we're due she sends me a text to say she's cancelled because she couldn't find a sitter. I told her she had a week to find one and that she's not taking this seriously and she then said she can't do it. She wants out. She gave me a little ray of hope then kicked me in the nuts. I'm hurting but at least now i have closure. Thanks for all your help.
itllgetbetter Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Jamone: Sorry to hear that you feel it's over. Maybe you could suggest to her that you can schedule another session with the MC and you look after finding a sitter? And if she refuses then, you'll know you've done your best?
robf1971 Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Hello LS. After trying everything else we finally decided to go MC. The first session went ok. Didn't get through much because of procedures, etc. Anyway, we book 2nd session. 3 hrs before we're due she sends me a text to say she's cancelled because she couldn't find a sitter. I told her she had a week to find one and that she's not taking this seriously and she then said she can't do it. She wants out. She gave me a little ray of hope then kicked me in the nuts. I'm hurting but at least now i have closure. Thanks for all your help. Let her go man, don't push her. My wife took me to MC just to explain in front of the counsellor how much she didn't want to be married to me and how I didn't hear what she was saying. Four and a half months later she called and said I want to go to marriage counselling again and it worked, we are reconciled and better than ever.
oldguy Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 (edited) I am sorry, refusal to work on the relationship is one of the clear cut indications its over. Gather family & friends & if this is a marriage have them help you to plan because you are grieving & hurt & not in any condition to be thinking straight. Try to stay on good terms so you can mutually agree on how to separate finances & property & if there are kids involved come to some agreement there. If this is a marriage & you don't come to a mutual settlement it'll come down to a judge doing it for you and you don't want that if you don't have to. The only people who benefit from a divorce are the lawyers. robf1971 is correct; it's only going to work if & when both of you want it to but his story is the exception so be prepared. Edited September 19, 2011 by oldguy
Author Jamone Posted September 20, 2011 Author Posted September 20, 2011 Jamone: Sorry to hear that you feel it's over. Maybe you could suggest to her that you can schedule another session with the MC and you look after finding a sitter? And if she refuses then, you'll know you've done your best? I was the one that booked the sessions. At the end of the first one the counsellor asked us if we wanted to save the marriage, i said yes. She said she wasn't sure but was willing to try, then cancelled and said she's done on the day of what would've been our 2nd session. I suffered for two yrs and now i'm tired so i'll let her go. I started IC today and it went well. I had the opportunity to bear all so i'll see what happens from now on. It really bites though. Thanks for the encouragement guys. Means a lot.
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