Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 DON'T follow this advice. I have a guy friend who did this on one desperate night and he's felt inner shame about it for years. Also, a lot of women (myself included) would never be with a guy who'd touched a prostitute so you'll always have to hide this from a SO. I agree with torn_curtain. Do not call for a prostitute. Don't worry, it's not something I would ever consider...
Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 The only time someone should create an AFF profile is just to see the pictures Dude.. You won't get laid from this.. Why not try regular online dating and create a good profile showing who you are ? What I am is not what women are looking for. There are certain required traits which I do not possess. You can't show a woman the kind of person you are unless they let you in the door.
Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Maybe you just need some new friends... Seriously. Every time you post, your friends are somehow involved in making you feel bad about yourself. Otherwise, if you feel really bad about yourself, you could also consider getting support from a therapist. I often feel like you do attach way too much importance to the whole process Hokie, like your self-esteem is all wrapped up in this. My friends are great. Wouldn't change them anything. It's just that all my life they have always had the women. They are high quality guys and they ended up married to high quality women. So of course I've always been jealous...
Kamille Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 My friends are great. Wouldn't change them anything. It's just that all my life they have always had the women. They are high quality guys and they ended up married to high quality women. So of course I've always been jealous... I really wish I could meet you and see how you interact with women. It seems to me you attach too much importance to "having the women". I wonder if, upon meeting "the women", you don't switch gears too quickly between getting to know someone and trying to "have" her. What do your friends say you could improve about your approaches?
Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 I really wish I could meet you and see how you interact with women. It seems to me you attach too much importance to "having the women". I wonder if, upon meeting "the women", you don't switch gears too quickly between getting to know someone and trying to "have" her. What do your friends say you could improve about your approaches? You can ask anyone I know in person...I'm actually quite comfortable talking to women...and people in real life are always surprised that I have trouble with dating after seeing me interact with them... The problem is that I never switch gears...I stay in friend mode and never make a move...I show no interest because I assume they're not interested... As I like to joke, I'm "harmless"...
leftfordead2 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 You can ask anyone I know in person...I'm actually quite comfortable talking to women...and people in real life are always surprised that I have trouble with dating after seeing me interact with them... The problem is that I never switch gears...I stay in friend mode and never make a move...I show no interest because I assume they're not interested... As I like to joke, I'm "harmless"... Why are you not making a move then? Are you afraid of rejection or...?
Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Why are you not making a move then? Are you afraid of rejection or...? I don't know. Maybe it's a fear of rejection, but at the same time, I'm not consciously afraid of rejection...
leftfordead2 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I don't know. Maybe it's a fear of rejection, but at the same time, I'm not consciously afraid of rejection... or maybe you haven't found someone you're genuinely attracted to?
Calutaxi484 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 (edited) "Hey great girl you're dating, where did you meet her?" "Oh she was on page 5 of AFF sucking off the neighbor. When I saw that, I knew she was future wife and mother material." Can't turn a hoe into a housewife! Hokie, I actually had that same problem a while back. I would wait for the "right time" to ask a girl out (and really more often then not there isn't one). I think a lot of guys get themselves worked up that if they ask a woman out and she rejects them she's going to go make him feel stupid or something. My "aha" moment happened a few years ago at work. There was a nurse I flirted with a bit. One night we were outside the ER smoking and I asked her if she wanted to get a drink sometime. She just said no and that was that. I was a bit embarrassed and I thought for sure things were gonna be weird after that when I'd see her all the time. Turns out that wasn't the case at all. A lot of guys didn't like dealing with her either because she could be a major bitch, with that said she never at any point made me feel stupid for asking her out. Edited September 18, 2011 by Calutaxi484
Kamille Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Ah! Is the problem that you are squeamish about L'art de la seduction? I used to be. I used to be so squeamish about seduction that I would have likely floundered with a guy looking for sex on Craig's list. Do you flirt? Do you joke, lean in, look at her lips, tease? Do you know how to ramp up attraction?
LoveandSuch Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 So I decided to take a plunge and paid for an AFF membership...perhaps desperation...or just stupidity...I'm just not feeling so great about myself anymore...maybe amidst all the fakes and scams I'll find something there...probably not... Feel free to judge me. No judgement, I put a fake profile up awhile back to see if someone I was in a relationship with was on there. It most likely is an escort service regarding the ladies on there. Out of boredom I have replied to messages, but just to mess with the wierdos. Gross stuff on there. Are women really going to reply to a pic of a penis? And would you want to date a woman who would? Think disease!
Calutaxi484 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 No judgement, I put a fake profile up awhile back to see if someone I was in a relationship with was on there. It most likely is an escort service regarding the ladies on there. Out of boredom I have replied to messages, but just to mess with the wierdos. Gross stuff on there. Are women really going to reply to a pic of a penis? And would you want to date a woman who would? Think disease! I think craigslist and yahoo are definitely the places to go to mess with the crazies! I had a guy I worked with that was looking for a roommate, so I went on there and answered an add from a guy who was looking for another guy. The conditions were that he had to be naked anytime he was in the apartment, and he had to sleep at the foot of the bed. But hey rent was only 100 bucks a month!
LoveandSuch Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I think craigslist and yahoo are definitely the places to go to mess with the crazies! I had a guy I worked with that was looking for a roommate, so I went on there and answered an add from a guy who was looking for another guy. The conditions were that he had to be naked anytime he was in the apartment, and he had to sleep at the foot of the bed. But hey rent was only 100 bucks a month! I really believe 90% of persons on online dating sites are weirdos. Take 70% of the pictured profiles on Match, and they will most likely match the penis shots on AFF...Lol. Not kidding!
Star Gazer Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Terrible idea. Probably end up making yourself feel even worse. Agreed, x1000.
Dorie Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Quite honestly, it appears to be something you did impulsively in a moment of feeling hopeless. Perhaps today, things will look fresher and you'll reconsider what appears to be a move away from your true character.
Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Ah! Is the problem that you are squeamish about L'art de la seduction? I used to be. I used to be so squeamish about seduction that I would have likely floundered with a guy looking for sex on Craig's list. Do you flirt? Do you joke, lean in, look at her lips, tease? Do you know how to ramp up attraction? I'm not squeamish about it at all. And yes I can be flirty just well, if not better, than the next guy. Most girls seem to dig the wit and humor. And I might even do it inadvertently without knowing but still displaying noninterest or indifference. It's not that I'm uncomfortable with the whole process, but that I dont rate a relationship. There are people in this universe that just aren't meant to have someone, even if they deserve it. Like that homeless guy who has been on the corner for years...probably not going to be anyone anytime soon...even if he's a good guy...I feel that I'm in the same boat...I'm simply taking the hit for Team Humanity. So it's less fear of rejection and more acceptance of the way things are...growing up being the only single one in a sea if couples makes one believe he is that one statistic...the single one...so with that acceptance comes some anger...why me...?
Wolf18 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 DON'T follow this advice. I have a guy friend who did this on one desperate night and he's felt inner shame about it for years. Also, a lot of women (myself included) would never be with a guy who'd touched a prostitute so you'll always have to hide this from a SO. How is banging a prostitute more shameful than you having a one night stand? I can guarantee you from girls I knew in High school who are now "Good girls" that all of you have skeletons in your closet, hell, some of you women even have a mass grave! So why would he have to tell anyone about addressing a very human need that has been denied because of a very artificial society? Just so you know most men have or would be with a prostitute given the chance. Even the hot guys. If you go to Europe you'll be hard pressed to find a guy whose never been with one. Good luck with the hypocritical uniquely American double standard that women like the sluts on sex in the city are empowered while a man who wants to see what it's like to bang a hooker is diseased. Unless you are a church going virgin, you are nobody to judge. Don't worry, it's not something I would ever consider... [/Quote] So banging a Rosie O'Donnell lookalike on Adult friend Finder in a one-night stand is ok, but having sex with a good looking prostitute is something you're too good for? Suit yourself
maylis Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I actually find dating sites more intimidating than meeting people just going out or whatever. I tried just a minute ago and my account was up for about 10 minutes and I panicked and deactivated it. I saw someone on there I knew and that was just too much for me.
Casablanca Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I actually find dating sites more intimidating than meeting people just going out or whatever. I tried just a minute ago and my account was up for about 10 minutes and I panicked and deactivated it. I saw someone on there I knew and that was just too much for me. Why did that freak you out? Are you worried that they will look down on you or something? They are on the same site too! I think people over complicate online dating for different reasons. Yeah I prefer meeting and getting to know someone in life...but there are positives to online dating (getting to know if they have any big no-no's) Online dating should NEVER be your only option for meeting someone
somedude81 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 You can ask anyone I know in person...I'm actually quite comfortable talking to women...and people in real life are always surprised that I have trouble with dating after seeing me interact with them... The problem is that I never switch gears...I stay in friend mode and never make a move...I show no interest because I assume they're not interested... As I like to joke, I'm "harmless"... I don't know. Maybe it's a fear of rejection, but at the same time, I'm not consciously afraid of rejection... Interesting, we act the exact same way. And of course if you don't switch gears out of friend mode, the women never become interested. As for signing up on AFF, what do you want to accomplish? If all you want is sex and don't really care about who it's with or what the circumstances are, then AFF can do that for you.
maylis Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Why did that freak you out? Are you worried that they will look down on you or something? They are on the same site too! I think people over complicate online dating for different reasons. Yeah I prefer meeting and getting to know someone in life...but there are positives to online dating (getting to know if they have any big no-no's) Online dating should NEVER be your only option for meeting someone I don't know, I think I am too shy and awkward so I think meeting someone face to face before having any sort of expectations seems easier to me, it's no pressure if its the first time ever knowing of each other the instant we meet.
Author USMCHokie Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 So banging a Rosie O'Donnell lookalike on Adult friend Finder in a one-night stand is ok, but having sex with a good looking prostitute is something you're too good for? Suit yourself Well when you put it that way...yes. At least Rosie has a choice if she gets with me...
FitChick Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 A friend's brother wasn't looking for a relationship, just some fun to relieve the stress of his career. He joined an adult site and met a woman who was in a similar position -- high flying exec with no time for love. On their first date, she told him that he was the first normal man she'd met from that site. They had a lot in common. He liked her, they meshed on every level and eventually got married and now have two kids. So you never know!
newguy673 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 So I decided to take a plunge and paid for an AFF membership...perhaps desperation...or just stupidity...I'm just not feeling so great about myself anymore...maybe amidst all the fakes and scams I'll find something there...probably not... Feel free to judge me. Amidst all the fakes and scams? what do you mean scams? how do you get scam from a girl? Isn't going to an adult sex site a scam too?
motive2002 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Alright, take this for what you will cuz I'm a dude... but I've seen your profile pics. You look pretty dashing. A agree that AFF is beneath you. You're young and handsome. The world is your oyster. Flirt more. Make a move, and keep this AFF stuff under wraps
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