momto3boys Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 (edited) My husband and i are divorcing (ive posted a few times). i am having such a horrible night because anyone who;s read my posts know i am away from all my family and friends and no one down where we are. We are here because he is in the army. Well he left to go to Myrtle beach and didnt even tell me he was going. So here i am almost 32 weeks pregnant with 2 kids alone in a ghetto town right near his duty station and he didnt even call me to tell me he was leaving and will be 2 hours away im just wondering when guys treat women so horrible, do they ever honestly feel bad?? I am trying the NC but it is so hard because i dont know anyone down here and we need to communicate because we are not even separated yet, he just told me last week (or the week before dont remember) that he wanted a divorce and we have a 2 year old together. Edited September 18, 2011 by momto3boys
Sugarkane Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 From my own experience no. My ex dumped and insulted me by text, completely out of the blue after a year. I never even got a conversation from him. I've never heard from him since. And never got an apology for being treated like ****.
Author momto3boys Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Hes done this to me before, even kicked me out of the house. i stayed home and since i was home with family and friends, it was so easy for me not to contact him and i didnt and he apologized, but now i dont think he will.
carhill Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I only have one datapoint, an EA, and I expressed my feelings about it in MC. I probably would have felt worse but I had to stuff those emotions down to effectively deal with end-stage caregiving for my mom. It's not something I'll ever repeat and the only time in my life where I overtly, meaning purposely, treated someone I loved badly, though at the time I didn't really love my now exW much anymore. Still, even feeling alone was no excuse for hurting someone like that. Life lesson #8929722a. I can't imagine treating someone like your H is treating you, especially nine months pregnant with his child. I set my exW up in a new house when we split up before filing for divorce and made sure she was comfortable and secure even though we were unfortunately childless. She's done fine. I hope your end result is similar, whether or not you and H get back together. You and your children deserve that.
Author momto3boys Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 carhill- Thank you. I keep saying "i cant believe you're letting me leave here thinking you might be with other women when im pregnant and we havent even legally separated yet. He says "i havent done anything". But i dont know. He is making the NC a bit easier because of how much of a jerk he's being. He is being weird about things, very paranoid. He told me he told all his higher ranks in the military that i may call and try to get him in trouble, but he hasnt done anything. He also told them i kicked him out (which i asked him to leave but only til i left for my own sanity and my childrens sanity) and i have not done anything vindictive or mean to him (although a few naggy/mean texts) but now he is threatening to take my name off the bank account if i spend any of the money. Which really pisses me off because im in a town where i know no one and i have very little gas, stuck with 2 kids, pregnant and he went 2 hours away without telling me. I told him to just take me off the account. He hasnt done it yet, dont know what he's waiting for. He hasnt really out right been mean to me, he hasnt kicked me out but then again he is pushing me to leave by the things he is doing. i cant stay down here with him treating me like this and leaving and i have no one to rely on when i go in to labor. So now i guess on monday he is taking me name off of the bank account.
sun_moon Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 He cannot remove you from the bank account without your presence,although, he can close the account without you. If you have a household where everything is split and your/his money is seen as the same, then you have the right to part of that money. I suggest you visit the bank tomorrow and take what is yours, for you and your children and start thinking about your future. Just a suggestion for your baby and your child. Good luck.
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