A Dumped Boyfriend's Post Breakup: Her Begging to Talk to FWB to Family Drama. !

[gandhi]

My girlfriend of almost a year dumped me two days after my birthday (mid-august) completely out of the blue. That night, she texted me saying "I think I don't like you anymore" and our relationship to me ended at that moment. Mind you, not to make her seem like the person at fault, I was the type of boyfriend to put her needs over mine, I put her on a pedestal and wouldn't let her get off until she was completely happy with me and I proved my worth to her time and time again.

 

After that night, after my very familiar fair share of extreme anger, extreme denial, and extreme depression, she consistently messaged me/contacted me to talk, only for it end up for me begging her to come back and her yelling at me for somehow hurting her. After awhile of this, of me trying to win her back, I started the no contact rule. She would not have this and kept on explaining to me how I was hurting her and how she did not deserve to be thrown out of my life, and begged for me to talk to her and be friends. I gave in and tried it, I couldnt do it, went NC AGAIN, and then the same deal happened where she endlessly contacted me to talk to her as if nothing happened between us. And to this day, almost 4 weeks later, I am still in contact.

 

During the night of the breakup, her brother has messaged me numerous times to leave her alone. I ignored the first few msges because I honestly did not want to take his ****, but he also insisted on talking to me, so I did. He basically told me to **** off, and I did. Since then, he has gone as far as posting stuff on my facebook wall to ridicule me among a slew of other things, all of which I ignore.

 

Also, when school started (I was still NC), my ex was in almost 4 of my classes. I ignored her for 2 days, ignored looking at her, talking to her, acknowledging her, and ignored her countless texts/calls/IMs. Until she came up to my in school and told me she still loved me, missed me, and I was the only one she wanted to date, but she doesnt want a relationship. A week of just talking like we were dating flies by and we somehow agree on a "friends with benefits" situation. I do it, hoping she;ll come back. We have gone on numerous dates and have gotten physical numerous times also.

 

So I am here asking, what the hell am I doing? Does she even have an ounce of love for me? (She tells me she loves me everyday, and I honestly say it back because I still do) Am I setting myself to be completely destroyed later on? HELP!

[gandhi]

bump? 10char

[LelouchIsZero]

Hi, Gandhi.

 

Personally, I think it'd be best if you started NC again, as I don't particularly think staying "Friends with benefits" is going to improve anything.

 

This is merely a theory on whats happening, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

If she really wanted the relationship, then she'd be in the relationship with you. By keeping you as a FWBs, she gets to play the field & attempt to find other people, whilst still having you as a possible back up. One would assume she doesn't want to lose you entirely, so it would seem as if she wants to have her cake & eat it too.

 

Perhaps you should go NC for a while, see how you feel, post on here again & then we'll give you advice from there -- though at the end of the day, its your decision.

 

Your story in a sense is kinda like mine, so feel free to read it & take the advice people posted for me.

 

All the best,

Lelouch.

Edited September 19, 2011 by LelouchIsZero

[RatsAreCool]

This girl (not to be mean) sounds a little crazy. I mean, she's the one contacting you, yet she obviously set her brother up to be mean to you? I don't know, I think she's bad news all the way around. You can't help how you feel--I know, I was in a situation with a guy that was lousy, I knew it was lousy, and I knew it was going to end lousy, but I did it anyway--but if you can I'd cut her loose. She doesn't sound like she's worth the drama.