cdbooker Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I've been talking to this guy for 7 months now. Strictly over the phone and via skype/texts messages. I live in California and he lives in Cleveland. I go to school in Arizona and we met through my roommate (he was a wing-man for my roommate because his bestfriend wanted to talk to her). We've been talking for months and he was supposed to come visit me for my birthday weekend but something came up and plans were cancelled. I'm trying to go visit him in December but plane tickets are 200 dollars and I don't have that kind of money, even though it doesn't sound like much. My family also cannot help me pay for the trip because they are struggling themselves. I don't want to tell the guy I am talking to that I won't be able to afford it because I don't want to hurt him. I don't know what to do, I just want to finally be able to spend time with the guy that I've truly fallen for.. What should I do?
Crazy4what Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Tell him that you dont have money, but is trying... If he is considerate enough then he will understand. He might even buy you a ticket. I did that to my ex wife.
TMichaels Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Why is it all on your back to make plans to see each other including footing the bill for a ticket? What's he saying/doing about any of this? Why was his trip cancelled to come see you? Who was going to pay for that? Best, TMichaels
Author cdbooker Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 I don't want to disappoint him. I had planned to go out there in December over the summer so it was sort of set. He can't come out here because he decided to go to school and he's paying for it himself without his parents help so he needs to save as much as we can. We're still very young but this is real, I'm sure of it.
TMichaels Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 We're still very young but this is real, I'm sure of it. How old are the two of you? Do you really think "it's real" if the relationship can't survive the "reality" that neither of you are in the position to afford a plane ticket? Best, TMichaels
Author cdbooker Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 We have plans, that will work as time goes on. But if we could get one trip to see each other, that's all it will take. I just don't want to wait any longer, I feel like the more I wait then it will be to late. I know I can visit in the summer but that is months from now and we've already waited 7 months.
wildgeese Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I'm with the others in that you really should be able to talk to him about these things. Sure, you both might be disappointed, but that's the reality of it.
TMichaels Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 (edited) But if we could get one trip to see each other, that's all it will take... I just don't want to wait any longer, I feel like the more I wait then it will be to late. What do you mean by that? Is he some sort of prize you're trying to lasso? Seriously, cdbooker, a relationship ought to be a partnership. He ought to be wracking his brains as much as you are about resolving the visit/distance issue and it certainly isn't coming across that way. You also side-stepped the age question. Is this the first "serious" relationship for either/both of you? Why do you come off as so desperate? What exactly are you afraid will happen if you have to wait until the two of you can afford the time/expense? Best, TMichaels Edited September 18, 2011 by TMichaels
Viking Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Try going before or after the holidays as airfare will be cheaper. I don't blame you for not wanting to wait until next summer-that's a long way off.
Lucky_One Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I am definitely older than you, but I wouldn't go see a man first. Call me old-fashioned, or call me cautious, but I firmly believe that first-time encounters should be on the woman's turf (if for no other reason than safety). As for cost, since you are both broke, then you should try to split the cost of the ticket 50/50. You could also apply for a credit card, and put the cost of the ticket on there. (And pay it off, month by month, obviously.) Honestly, if neither one of you can come up with $100 in 3 months time, then both of you need to concentrate on earning money and becoming self-sufficient rather than finding a romantic partner.
creighton0123 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 FYI, advanced purchase on bus tickets between Phoenix and Cleveland are $131 for December 26th and onwards. Many colleges offer quick jobs you can do to make an extra buck. There are always one-hit jobs on Craigslist for any number of American cities. If you're in college, you can try selling your books back at the end of the semester to help pay for it... or since you're only talking about $200 (I assume $400 round trip), most banks like Bank of America offer a college student credit card with a $500 credit limit. You could put it on there and pay it off $50 to $100 a month. $400 isn't that much money to earn between now and December. It would be much cheaper, albeit more painful, to take the bus. Train might also be cheaper. $200 doesn't sound like much for a plane ticket because it isn't that much. Do you have a cell phone? Reduce the minutes on the plan. Do you pay for cable television? Cancel it. Do you eat out once a week? Don't do that. Do you have extra books or DVD's lying around that you don't need? Sell them to amazon.com. Do you pay for internet? Consider finding a cheaper company. Do you qualify for and does your school offer work study? Perhaps that's an option. There's always ways to find money. I'd go for the credit card option. Both of you get a student credit card, split the ticket 50/50, and pay the balance. If you can't pay $200 off in a few months, then you have bigger problems.
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