bigboss Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Hi guys Okay so my friend introduced me to her friend who is an absolutely drop dead gorgeous girl who has a 3 year old daughter. I met my friend in town and we got introduced that night and ended up having a pretty wild first night out (saturday). I ended up back at her place but we didn't have sex. In the morning we had some casual chat, and as I was about to leave, she asked me for my number and we exchanged numbers. A couple of days later, I text her and we set up a proper date for Tuesday. Come Tuesday, we went for a nice dinner and whatnot and ended up going into town again for drinks. The night ends in a big of a mess but we work it out in the morning and I end up back at her place to hang out more. So from Wednesday to Friday I spent alot of time with her and ended up staying over at her house all those nights. I did ask her out on Friday and she said yes but I'm starting to feel like we might have just rushed into things a little in a couple of departments and lagging behind in others and I really need your guys opinion!! thank you in advance Now here's the problem. I don't think I'm a particularly bad guy and what I want from this relationship is....a relationship. From the get go, she told me she wants me to wait before we have sex and I was and still am okay with that. Of course I would be lying if I didn't want it but I am definitely not going to force it or get angry or do any of those things; I will wait. But what I want is...affection. I mean is it wrong for me to get some sort of affection out of someone who supposedly just agreed to go start dating me? Okay, before you start thinking im a freak or something like that, it's just that we haven't even officially kissed yet. We sort of made out at clubs but that's just drunken moments and I don't even remember. When we walk together, we are never close and we keep our distance like friends do when they walk and when I lean in to try and hold her hands, it always feels like I'm forcing myself onto her. I'm holding her hands, but shes not holding mine and a few moments later, she pulls away. As a man, I respect a woman's need for some space but how long do I wait before I can even begin to feel comfortable holding my own 'girlfriend's' hands? So I feel like we have just agreed to go out with each other, without her even feeling comfortable with me yet? She tells me she likes me but I don't feel that sense of attraction coming from her. So this leads me to feel really confused and wonder if she's just using me for money. Admittedly I have been spending a bit of money on her and I can spend all I have on her if I just didn't get that sinking feeling that I am being used. Trust is what I need but I don't seem to be able to feel that which is so important in this relationship. Money is not a factor for me but I still don't like to feel used for money if that makes any sense. I have no previous experience with dating single mothers so I don't know whether this is normal or not. If this is normal then I'll wait however long it takes, just to be able to hold her hands comfortably. She allows me to sleep with her in her bed (no sex) but not even kiss me properly yet? Sorry if I sounded too negative but I don't want to waste time and money chasing a fruitless tree.
daphne Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I'm curious as to how old she is. I really didn't get the sleeping together in teh same bed without even a real kiss. It makes no sense to me. Essentially, it sounds like she wants ot take it slow and has probably been used for sex before and doesn't want it to happen again. Much like you don't want to be used for money. She's abstaining until she feels comfortable. I would suggest that you refrain from overspending on her. Find creative, romantic dates (clubbing and getting hammered is not one of those things) that don't lighten your wallet too much. If you guys get more serious and you feel like she's in it for the right reasons, then you can spoil her if you want. I would not suggest trying to buy a woman's affections, because it's like a woman throwing sex at a guy hoping he'll want a commitment. It usually doesn't work. You'll find out soon enough if she likes you for you or the money if you stop overdoing it.
Author bigboss Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 We are both 23, and not mature enough lol. Yes that is puzzling too. We snuggle up in bed but that's about the only affection I get. I'm the one that has to initiate any sort of skinship between us and she will never herself come to give me any sort of affections I need and want as a supposed boyfriend. I will heed your advice on keeping a check on my wallet because I really need to know if I'm just a meal ticket to her.
FitChick Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 If she was unattractive, would you put up with this?
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