fgibb Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Hello. Right. So It's been three and a half months since my boyfriend broke up with me. I've gone over and over the reasons in my head, and the only conclusion I have come to is that he just ddn't love me enough to keep working at it. I had depression issues which contributed to arguments, but he always said he would help me through it. Obviously he didn't. Anyway, I just can't seem to get over him. I feel so down and depressed. We had all these plans together after we finished university, but he broke up with me right at the end, and now I am in that post uni rut where I am trying to find a job that doesn't completely suck. I'm living back with my dad which isn't great. I've started seeing a new guy whp says he loves me but I don't feel the same. We have a great time together and it gives me a break from constantly being at my dad's, which I hate. My ex though. We have always stayed in touch. In fact, he has always fought for us to stay in touch. He tells me how much he still cares and that he loves me and that I'm his soulmate and that one day we mgiht find our way back to each other, but that we can't know. We have seen each other once since, and we ended up cuddling and kissing and laughing but he then said he still needed time to himself. This past week he messages me saying; 'I wish there was an easy way to sort this out. When I'm back at uni and settled in (he is going back to the university we met at to do his masters degree) will you come and visit me?' What does this mean? Does he want to get back together? What do I do? Also, whenever I am down I message him to tell him how much i miss him. This is wrong i know, but i feel so weak. Is it too late to change his mind and show him i can be strong. He said to me a few weeks ago that he knows how strong i am and that is one of the reasons he loves me. We were such a close couple, we were best friends. We always talked about the future. I really thought he was my soulmate. Please help. I'm so down and confused.
TheDovic Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Really sad story, and very similar to mine. I also suffer from depression and my ex gf broke up with me a little over two months ago. She really tries to keep in contact with me and initiates texting 2/3 times per week and she keeps asking to come visit me. But like your ex mine doesn't seem ready to start something again. We were also best friends and I believed her to be my soul mate too so I have an idea what the hurt is like! So to answer your question: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? - It might mean he misses you as a friend because you were so close. - It might mean he's feeling guilty about the breakup, especially as he knows you are suffering from depression, and in his way is offering his time to ease his own guilt. - It might mean he is bored or lonely and just wants someone to be there. - It might mean he is still in love with you but is unsure if the relationship will work so he wants to spend time with you to help him decide. Hope this helps. As a fellow depression sufferer going through a break up I know how devastating it can be! Good luck
M2155 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? - It might mean he misses you as a friend because you were so close. - It might mean he's feeling guilty about the breakup, especially as he knows you are suffering from depression, and in his way is offering his time to ease his own guilt. - It might mean he is bored or lonely and just wants someone to be there. - It might mean he is still in love with you but is unsure if the relationship will work so he wants to spend time with you to help him decide. It probably means ALL of those things but you aren't giving him any reason to act on it because he knows you're still there when he wants you. He knows it's his choice. That's the argument for going NC. Gives you both time to think, miss, realize whatever. It's hard to do when you are in communication with the person regularly. I wanted what you two have instead of my ex just disappearing. I wanted to still be a friend so I can still be in his life. But I still have feelings and if he has decided we can't be in a relationship, it doesn't help me move on to still have bits and pieces of him. So I'm glad he didn't try to be friends or try to give me "hope" for the future because "hope" will keep you hanging on. IMO I think its ok to miss him/her or want to reconcile in the future but don't let them have a little bit if they don't want the whole thing because they might be happy with a little bit. They WILL come around if/when they realize they really want you. Your ex knows you love and miss him and he isn't ready to do anything about it so don't text anymore. Eventually he'll probably wonder where you went. Go NC and have fun with your new guy. You don't need to be in love with him right now (although let him know that you are not looking for a relationship, sounds like he's the rebound guy and we don't need him on here saying you broke his heart .
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