TheGrimSweeper Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) Hey guys looking for some help on this one. My girlfriend over the past few weeks has gone completely distant and cold on me. She has completely stopped trying to make plans to hang out or anything, its only been me. Whenever I message her she gives very short answers. She has completely stopped saying she loves me and being affectionate in any way. She has gotten incredibly busy (school + working 3 jobs) so we have little time for each other, but its not that that bugs me, its her attitude. In my head I already know its over. I talked to her last night and she said she doesn't know whats changed, but she doesn't have any desire to sleep with me anymore. She doesnt seem like she wants to breakup, but she also doesn't see how I am happy right now (I'm not). I have a feeling this had to do with me getting laid off a month ago which kind got me really down and as such I started becoming more of a doormat to her and much more submissive. I've got a new job now (really high paying one) but I still am suffering in a bit of depression because of how things are going with my girlfriend. Ive been incredibly nice to her last week, surprising her at work with tea, buying us a cooking class lesson etc but all of this was met with uninterest from her. I figure I have two options. 1.) End it with her as she clearly is taking me for granted, doesn't respect anymore and walk out with my head held high. 2.) Go completely distant and wait for her to come to me, stop being a doormat and putting up with this terrible behavior. What would you guys do? I do really love this girl, we've been together a long time (almost 3 years) and ideally I would like things to work out between us, but I no longer know if that is possible. Edited September 17, 2011 by TheGrimSweeper
make me believe Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Wow, after 3 years if she doesn't want to be with you anymore she needs to just be honest & tell you. What she's doing is just cruel. Do you think there's a possibility that there's another guy in the picture? People don't usually just shut off completely like this for no reason. I think you should make some demands. Tell her that her behavior is unacceptable and if she doesn't want to be honest about what's going on, then you can't be with her anymore. If she started acting like this just because you were laid off & unemployed for a month, that tells you a lot about what kind of a person she is. She should have been supportive of you & understanding. I mean it was only a month! You should definitely stop being a doormat & putting up with how she's treating you.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 She's just not interested anymore. Nothing to analyze here. Just break up with her.
Casablanca Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 It does sound like it is pretty much over...OP how much have you and her talked about how everything is going at the moment? Id say you two should if you havent already, have a long conversation about the relationship
Author TheGrimSweeper Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 We have talked a bit about it. She keeps saying that she doesn't know why she feels this way and that she feels we have nothing to ever talk about with each other. Which may be true recently, cause I've been upset with how its going and when I get upset I don't talk much. But I've realized this and now anytime I try to talk to her or even last night when we were hanging out she just sounds completely uninterested. So its kind of really turned me off from even trying to talk to her. After she left last night (she was really tired) I simply said Get some sleep babe and let me know when you have some time to talk more. Im going to completely leave it the ball in her court now, I've tried to talk about it but she really doesn't seem to want too.
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