Just entered a "break" and ive realised whats wrong. How do I get her back

[bdbmwer]

Me and my girlfriend just decided to go on a break. Or she did rather, she told me that i did nothing wrong and that she feels like shes not special enough for such a great guy like me.She told me that she still wants me in her life and that she thinks that maybe shell find her way back to me. she told me she just needed a break because she doesnt understand how shes feeling and has to clear her thoughts she feels like a mental patient. the curveball is that were still going to the football game tomorrow.

 

Now I ask this. I talked to one friend whom is a girl who said to leave her small texts asking how her day was and text her like normal every day or every other just without using relationship friendly wordings. she said to not cancel the fball game unless she does and that me giving her too much space will cause her to slowly get over me as she occupies her time with friends and other things.

 

Another friend told me to give her her space and cancel the football game and to let her miss me and wonder what im doing. I feel that both sides have logical thinking but how do I really go about this I know that the internet is full of people who have gone through the same thing and im just confused as to how breaks conclude in relationships reforming rather than flatlining. How will i know when the opportunity arises?she recently started birth control like as of a week ago so shes emotional and has had problems with depression. She recently sent me a text saying "I still care about you. Its just not fair for me to maintain this relationship when youre giving me more than im giving you." I know this reads as I was being to clingy as we saw each other every day but i was aware of this and asked her everyday to be honest and to tell me if i was being clingy because i would back off and do things with friends and sh led me to believe it was all hunky dory.

 

 

Thanks so much anyone who takes the time to actually read this and respond

Also found it important to note that we have a college class together so its pretty much impossible to have a cold-turkey cut off. Do I sit near her like normal and act unaffected or move away

Edited September 17, 2011 by bdbmwer
last fact

[mike588]

Me and my girlfriend just decided to go on a break. Or she did rather, she told me that i did nothing wrong and that she feels like shes not special enough for such a great guy like me.She told me that she still wants me in her life and that she thinks that maybe shell find her way back to me. she told me she just needed a break because she doesnt understand how shes feeling and has to clear her thoughts she feels like a mental patient. the curveball is that were still going to the football game tomorrow.

 

Now I ask this. I talked to one friend whom is a girl who said to leave her small texts asking how her day was and text her like normal every day or every other just without using relationship friendly wordings. she said to not cancel the fball game unless she does and that me giving her too much space will cause her to slowly get over me as she occupies her time with friends and other things.

 

Another friend told me to give her her space and cancel the football game and to let her miss me and wonder what im doing. I feel that both sides have logical thinking but how do I really go about this I know that the internet is full of people who have gone through the same thing and im just confused as to how breaks conclude in relationships reforming rather than flatlining. How will i know when the opportunity arises?she recently started birth control like as of a week ago so shes emotional and has had problems with depression. She recently sent me a text saying "I still care about you. Its just not fair for me to maintain this relationship when youre giving me more than im giving you." I know this reads as I was being to clingy as we saw each other every day but i was aware of this and asked her everyday to be honest and to tell me if i was being clingy because i would back off and do things with friends and sh led me to believe it was all hunky dory.

 

 

Thanks so much anyone who takes the time to actually read this and respond

 

I can relate to your situation. I too heard that I did'nt do anything wrong, I care about you, and she needed space and doesn't know or understand hows she's feeling.

 

Those are signs that the doesn't want to be with you. She did breakup with you.There could possibly be another guy in her life. I said I can relate, well thats what happened to me. She went back to her ex. Does she have an ex b/f?

 

I would cancel the game, tell her your true feelings and go into strict NO CONTACT.

[TheDovic]

Read the links below before doing anything, because your friends probably haven't a clue what they're talking about. Someone was nice enough to post them yesterday and they're for two of the most popular (and expensive) "Getting your ex back" systems. (Although they're free cos you have these links )

 

[COLOR=#990000]http://www.magicofmakingup.com/2008d...OfMakingUp.pdf[/COLOR]

[COLOR=#990000]http://www.getexback.net/download/[/COLOR]

 

These will help put you on the right road.

 

I gave the following advice to someone else yesterday too:

 

It really wouldn't hurt to read John Alexander's "Re-Attraction: How to Get Your Woman Back in 30 Days or Less," and David DeAngelo's "Attraction isn't a choice." Although this isn't a "Get her back" system it is genius for attracting (or reattracting) women... and when it comes down to the bare bones of it you're ex left you because in some way she has lost attraction for you (This is true whether you believe it or not!). This book will tell you why women leave men, what NOT to do and what TO DO!

 

Maybe they won't help but a lot of people I encounter on this site can't get their ex to look at them, mainly because they're overly emotional and needy, which will KILL ATTRACTION. Maybe I'm wrong but in the past week my ex who dumped me has initiated texting on three occasions, is being very flirty and has asked twice to see me.

 

So to answer your question, the advice best given by your friends is to be less available (A LOT LESS, at least initially)

[bdbmwer]

I can relate to your situation. I too heard that I did'nt do anything wrong, I care about you, and she needed space and doesn't know or understand hows she's feeling.

 

Those are signs that the doesn't want to be with you. She did breakup with you.There could possibly be another guy in her life. I said I can relate, well thats what happened to me. She went back to her ex. Does she have an ex b/f?

 

I would cancel the game, tell her your true feelings and go into strict NO CONTACT.

I truly believe that there is not another guy in her life and i truly believe she still cares about me. I also know that yall are right that shes lost interest thats apparant. the real sticky situation i have is that we have a clss together on monday and wensday in college.....do i sit near her or no and the football game today of course , thanks

[TheDovic]

That's a tough one. Mainly because it'll be tough pretending you don't care for her. I wouldn't sit beside her but I'd be civil if she spoke to me but would keep any chats very brief

[9Lives]

ACROSS THE BOARD ABOUT THESE SO CALLED BREAKS

 

When someone tells you they want a break, the very best thing to do is leave them alone for real for a while or else you will go crazy. I dont care how long you been with someone. They can walk out your life at a drop of a hat if they want to.

 

Dont chase

Just let them do whatever it is...rather you approve or not...rather it is someone else or not. That is your best chance of things going back to your favor. Not saying it will happen but you need to leave her alone and be careful about how she somes at you. you cant be the backup plan either.

[bdbmwer]

sorry to keep this going as like a journal lol but we went to the fball game together i visited herr at her booth to give her the tickets and go in together and she initiated convo was like sweet hat and was the one making the convo continue. she was acting like everything was normal and was even poking me to talk to me about things and ask questions during the game. When i asked if she was going with me before all this she said " of course I am my job wont let me off early though : / " at the end of the first quarter she went down to get food and i accompanied her and she said shes going to get subway out of the stadium because shes tired and hungry but that she really wanted to stay and watch the game with me and is sorry.(shes not a huge football fan in general)

 

 

Once again im really sorry i know im overanalyzing the **** out of this but im just very confused by all these mixed signals and need some guidance

[MovingOn13]

I am gonna be tough and direct with you cause thats the way people need to be in life. The moment any girl says "she is too special for you and doesn't deserve you" it means she has lost interest.

 

A woman who loves you wont leave or ask for breaks it's as simple as that. Her interest for you is lowering and will continue to lower until you MAN UP and LEAVE. Say what you got to say and leave.

 

If you want her say "hey i love you and i dont want us to break up but i dont want to play games either. Only contact me if you wish to try and work things out." and then go NC.

 

Avoid asking women how to act. What women say and what they really want are often not in alignment, especially for young immature people. Don't be surprised if there is another dude on her tail. Your story is not unique and mine happend the same way.

 

Stop being her f'ing puppy and man up or lose her forever.