OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 You can have compassion AND honest AND risk. He can't be the man she needs so he needs to be honest about his lack of interset in her so she can find a man that can be the man she needs. Yes, but not all can be equally valued within every given instance (circumstances can affect which are prioritized ... the values of each can change) ... hence the word, "favor"... What if she's alright with having a friend whilst looking for this other man she *needs*? Perhaps she also *needs* a friend... (perhaps she doesn't need a man or a friend).
Disenchantedly Yours Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I agree with you there Onyx, she might be open to a friendship and if he respects her, despite his lack of attraction to her, then a friendship might work. He just doesn't really need to tell her why he isn't interested. She is who she is and she will find a man for her. He can let her down and even give her a compliment on something HE does sincerely like about her. This is usually how I let someone down.
fetish1980 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I totally disagree with this! Going out with her again is completely leading her on, even if he doesn't act flirtatious on the date. She WILL read into it and assume that he enjoyed their first date and is attracted to her, because why else would he ask her on a second date?? It doesn't really sound like the OP needs "practice" interacting with people, as nothing in his post gave the impression that he has low self-confidence. Plus, the kind of interaction you are suggesting isn't going to help him with somebody he is actually attracted to anyway. I appreciate and respect your viewpoints. But i stand by my statements. People are people. He can have a purely platonic relationship with this woman without leading her on. Perhaps he could suggest that they go out in a group setting so it wouldn't be personal. And when i said "practice", i wasn't suggesting that he had low self-confidence, I was simply saying that he could go out for some conversation, just someone to talk to. Again, you're another one who's painting this too black and white. All my life, i've only gone out and talked with women i was attracted and probably missed out on some good potential friendships or even developing social skills. I'm beginning to look at life differently now. Just because he isn't interested in her romantically doesn't mean he has to totally eliminate her as a person. That's all i'm saying. fetish
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