Cowboy1015 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) I've posted similar topic to a different section. I decided to post this here to see if there's a different perspective. What do you think is my ex girlfriend going through? My gf of 4 months broke up with me 2 days ago. She met me in person and talked for 15 min as she break the news to me. I handled it well and agreed to her decision. I called her yesterday, chat a bit, and asked her to see me for an hour to talk about what went wrong. She agreed to see me in 3 days when she's not working. So here's the event the lead to the break up: Last Monday, Labor day, she invited me to her family BBQ. So there I met her dad for the first time. So I was happy coz I know our relationship is making good progress. Following day, Tuesday, we had an argument on the phone. It's because she felt that I'm not listening to her. That I often pushed her on what I want from her. She said all I care about is myself. Wednesday, she was still talking to me and still saying "I love you." But I felt that she's bothered about something. Which of course is out argument the previous day. Thursday, our 4th month, I went to her work to give her flowers. She dismissed me right away. I guess she's still mad. She did call me that night to say thank you for the flowers. And that we're gonna talk Friday. But Friday, she could not see me coz of some family emergency. This is the time when I panicked. Sent her text messages/emails/and an apology letter inserted at her car. She got upset about the letter and asked me to give her time. And said we'll talk last Monday. Prior to me panicking, she never actually asked for time. She was still talking to me. But I just wanted to fix our issues right away. I guess my actions turned her off. So she was about to see me Monday or Tuesday, she did not. But she texted me on Monday saying, "Thank you for giving me some time and space last weekend. You just made it hard for me. But I made my decision. We'll talk in few days." She did see me 2 days ago, Wednesday, and she broke up with me. I handled the break-up pretty well. Because I guess I was expecting it. I think the reason she decided to break up is because of me panicking and I guess the apology letter. She said all I think about is myself. And that I'm not sincere to her. She said there's something she saw in me that she didn't like. And that she think that's how I am and I'm never gonna change. But she never told me what it is. Now, I called her yesterday, chat a bit, and I asked her to see me for an hour to talk about what went wrong. She did say, she made her decision. She's not gonna change her mind. But she did agree to see me. Now, I'm just wondering what's really going on with her. What's on her mind? She did say tell me that I can call her. And that we can be friends. But she just broke up with me and she picked up my call after one day. And she agreed to see me. Is she just being nice to me? Or maybe feeling some guilt? I am cool now and in full control of my emotions. But I'm thinking maybe asking her if this is really what we want? Based on the events, do you think there is a possibility of second chance when I talk to her in few days? Edited September 17, 2011 by Cowboy1015
Vanished Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Hey Cowboy, From personal experience, I really think you should do as she requested. Give her some space and stop attempting to contact her for at least a few months--as much as it probably hurts you. Try to focus on work or school. You have to keep as many options open as possible, and by being the pursuer here, I feel you may be burning your own bridge. Sincerely, Vanished
TheDovic Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 From what you've written Cowboy I think this girl felt a bit suffocated so broke up with you. Now there are two ways she will move forward, one way is with you as her boyfriend, the other is you as an ex. Now how do YOU help her to decide which path to choose? ANSWER: How you behave from this point! Looking at it simply, she broke up with you because she is feeling suffocated and "needs space" but you are still demanding her time. What do you think the outcome is going to be here? The answer is she is going to feel even more suffocated and this will help her justify her decision to leave you!!! What you need to do is give her a chance to miss you and remember the good times. You do this by giving her space, and when you happen to run into each other be cool, calm and collected, showing NO EMOTION (yet). Be fun with things going on in your life (even if you don't you can lie to her). I know it's so difficult and you want to convince her to stay with you but I promise everything you do at the moment is out of desperation and will only serve to push her away even further. NEVER trust your gut feelings after a break up if you want her back!
Author Cowboy1015 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 Thank you guys for the reply. I really just can't help myself. I know I'm just making it harder to myself. I guess I'm just on denial. And this is making me feel really awful right now. I don't know, maybe I'll just see her for the last time today if she's still up to it. Then I'll move on with my life.
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