Why does a married woman I just met 4 days ago at my new job need to know this?

[PhillyDude]

"Do you have any kids?"

 

Isn't that kind of personal question for someone who you just met on Monday? And why does she need to know if she is married? I see woman are the same on all jobs, they always want to know if

 

you have kids and married within in the first week of a new job.

[Kamille]

You're upset about what now? Ever heard of conversation? You know, the process where you meet someone and try to find common grounds, things you have in common, ways to relate to each other?

 

Sounds to me like she was just making conversation. I don't see the point in getting up in arms about people trying to relate to you.

 

I just started a new job. Many of my fellow coworkers asked me if I have kids or am married. It never even crossed my mind to get upset.

[PhillyDude]

You're upset about what now? Ever heard of conversation? You know, the process where you meet someone and try to find common grounds, things you have in common, ways to relate to each other?

 

Sounds to me like she was just making conversation. I don't see the point in getting up in arms about people trying to relate to you.

 

I just started a new job. Many of my fellow coworkers asked me if I have kids or am married. It never even crossed my mind to get upset.

 

But the first weeK? It was plenty of time to find that out

[Calutaxi484]

Yeah I think that's a pretty harmless question, and I don't think it's overly personal. I've asked patients that plenty of times just making small talk while in the back of the ambulance. I think if she asked you if you had herpes you'd have a much better reason to be upset.

[PhillyDude]

Yeah I think that's a pretty harmless question, and I don't think it's overly personal. I've asked patients that plenty of times just making small talk while in the back of the ambulance. I think if she asked you if you had herpes you'd have a much better reason to be upset.

 

But it was nothing that led up to it, the question just came out of nowhere. That's like me asking her..........."So how long you been married"

 

It would have to relevance whatsoever.

[whichwayisup]

You're upset about what now? Ever heard of conversation? You know, the process where you meet someone and try to find common grounds, things you have in common, ways to relate to each other?

 

Sounds to me like she was just making conversation. I don't see the point in getting up in arms about people trying to relate to you.

 

I just started a new job. Many of my fellow coworkers asked me if I have kids or am married. It never even crossed my mind to get upset.

 

It does sound like she was just being nice and getting to know you. Kamille is right..

 

It's not like she asked how big your cock was or if you liked anal sex?? Why did it offend/piss you off so much that she asked you if you had kids?

[Calutaxi484]

But it was nothing that led up to it, the question just came out of nowhere. That's like me asking her..........."So how long you been married"

 

It would have to relevance whatsoever.

 

I dunno. Sounds to me like she's just trying to get to know you. She might just see that as something you guys might have in common and is just looking for something to talk about.

[Kamille]

I don't even see the issue with "How long have you been married".

 

A question my new coworkers (and neighbors) frequently ask me is 1) Do you have a partner? followed by 2) How did you two meet?

 

I do have a partner and I love telling the story of how we met.

 

Seriously, I just take it as a good sign that people want to get to know me.

 

 

What do you usually talk about when you meet new people?

 

And, yes, those questions usually happen within the first week after meeting them.

[xxoo]

Yeah, this is normal female small talk. This is what I consider a "safe" topic when getting to know someone, esp since everyone loves to talk about their kids!

[PhillyDude]

I don't even see the issue with "How long have you been married".

 

A question my new coworkers (and neighbors) frequently ask me is 1) Do you have a partner? followed by 2) How did you two meet?

 

I do have a partner and I love telling the story of how we met.

 

Seriously, I just take it as a good sign that people want to get to know me.

 

 

What do you usually talk about when you meet new people?

 

 

I just don't like being judge

[Kamille]

I just don't like being judge

 

That question made you feel judged? How?

[red shoes]

Were you thinking that she might be hitting on you?

 

It's a fairly harmless question in that she might want to chat about her kids with other people that also have kids.

[Woggle]

My first thought is that she might be sizing you up as a potential affair partner but that is probably my paranoia talking. It is probably small talk.

[FitChick]

I suppose you could always talk about the weather.

[PhillyDude]

That question made you feel judged? How?

 

My age without kids and will want to know why..mid 30's

[Kamille]

My age without kids and will want to know why..mid 30's

 

You might be projecting your own anxieties about wanting a family into random small talk.

 

I'm mid-thirties, don't have kids. I don't want kids, which might explain why I don't feel judged. The answer is no and that is that. I usually ask if they have kids, and surprise, the people who ask always do. That's why I believe they're just trying to find a common ground.

[country_gurl]

I think asking someone if they're married and if they have kids is generally just common water-cooler chat. I wouldn't read anything into it. I wouldn't personally ask a stranger/a new male coworker this kind of question (frankly because I generally wouldn't care either way) but there are plenty of people out there who would. I am an early 40s female and it irks me when someone I don't really know asks if I'm married and if I have kids; I just think it's incredibly nosy and irrelevant because generally when I tell them I'm divorced and don't have kids, there will often be some social klutz who has the audacity to ask me "why" I don't have kids........as if I'm some kind of oddity for not having any. I once had a new coworker (my first day on the job) ask me why I had no kids, she asked "don't you like kids?" and I was really blown away by her stupidity. What if I was someone who wasn't able to have children? Who had a history of multiple miscarriages? Who'd had a previous hysterectomy due to some kind of gynecological cancer? What if I'd previously had a child who died at birth and the topic of children was therefore a difficult topic? Some people are just plain clueless and to them, the end all and be all in life is to be married and have children and that's sadly the only way they feel they can relate to someone is if they're also married/have kids. Not saying that's the case here but some people just have no real identity other than being a spouse or parent.