OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Like an M&M candy... hard shell, soft and sweet center. lovely description. (I haven't personally been attracted to "bad boy" types, but your reply is certainly yummy and is a perfect answer).
FrustratedStandards Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I admit I have dabbled in the past. I am not talking about crack or meth but I have taken ecstasy and I once dropped acid. I also tried coke once and never want to do it again but I stopped everything except the occasional weed after seeing what drugs did to my ex. How fun can your life be if you need chemicals to enjoy it. I never understood why people ever got into that in the first place. Do you see someone high and become curious what it feels like? Or is it boredom? Influences of your social circle? Cuz like you said, drugs are harmful and ruins your life. I wonder why people try it to begin with.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Well, in my case, I take medication so my life stays stable and sane. In that way, I enjoy life a lot more now than before I was on medication, because I don't have to deal with the cycle of manic attacks and depression (and suicidal thoughts.) However, I don't understand why anybody would want to feel the effects of drugs. What's so fun about passing out and nearly dying? What's so cool about throwing up, feeling sick, having the room spin, hearing sounds magnified, having basically everything turned on it's head? I have watched so many of my peers either end up in jail, homeless, or struggling with children and a wife after a teenage pregnancy. I look at their lives, and my life, and I realize that I am blessed, because they didn't have time to figure out everything, and so they crashed. Me, I have the rest of my life to figure everything out. The only criminal thing I've ever done is illegally download music...and I've given that up. I buy everything legally now. What's the point in breaking the law, even for the love of a girl? If I had to choose between living the straight and narrow, or abusing drugs/women/my life in order to get a girlfriend...well, I am very happy to say that I'd rather be alone and celibate.
Woggle Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I never understood why people ever got into that in the first place. Do you see someone high and become curious what it feels like? Or is it boredom? Influences of your social circle? Cuz like you said, drugs are harmful and ruins your life. I wonder why people try it to begin with. I was in the scene and got curious but after I watched drugs destroy my ex I said enough.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I was in the scene and got curious but after I watched drugs destroy my ex I said enough. I'm glad you were able to clean up. Good for you
Woggle Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I'm glad you were able to clean up. Good for you I was never addicted. I just did them when I hung out but when we brought the house in New Jersey I stopped everything while she went in the other direction into full blown addiction.
torn_curtain Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 All the men in this thread are missing the point. Women LOVE this type, and I'm one of them. Most healthy women don't want a true bad boy (meaning someone who mistreats them) but they like someone is hard/strong/reserved on the surface but soft underneath. This hard surface usually equals being masculine in the way he carries himself and tackles life, assertive, forceful and taking the initiative, not that forthcoming with his feelings at first because he has strong personal boundaries, not eager to please. But once he opens up for the right woman he's a sweetheart. This is my boyfriend.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I'm glad you overcame your addictions, Woggle.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 A woman needs a man like this, one who takes initiative, but isn't also an a**hole.. I dunno. I thought that was the definition of a balanced person. The man I'm looking for wants a woman who takes initiative but isn't an a**hole either I would never put that I was looking for a 'bad boy' with a heart. But I agree with an earlier poster. Sounds like these women have some issues. When I personally think of the kind of 'bad boy' I'd like to meet, I think of a man who has a bit of a kinky side, is creative and, yes, takes initiative in many aspects of life (including the bedroom). Having a heart is a pre-requisite... and doesn't much make the so-called bad boy stuff half as fun without it. Seems like there might be another way to advertise for the above without using cliche statements like 'bad boy'. Too many negative associations in my book. I REALLY don't want to meet the guys who would answer that ad.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I think it really depends on how you define bad boy. I guess I didn't see that before.
Taramere Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) I've seen some profiles from women stating they are looking for a "bad boy with feelings" or a "bad boy with a big heart" How is this even possible? What does this mean, I see this statement, and just wonder, "hmmmmm?" I see so many "bad boy" threads on here, but no one talks about one with a "big heart" which, according to the threads, explains bad boys have none. I've encountered plenty of somewhat delinquent types (in the course of work) who are very emotional. It's often their difficulty in controlling their emotions (specifically anger) that leads them into trouble. They're often quite needy and have a tendency to get crushes very easily. Emotional types who get angry with themselves for having emotions, dabble with the traits of psychopathy in an effort to be manly, but who aren't actually psychopaths and therefore get struck with guilt, conscience and emotion. They're the male equivalent of the woman with daddy issues. Why do women like them? Because they're quite easy to manipulate, and on a less calculating level they do tend to touch the heart and bring out the maternal instincts....though sometimes the neediness spills over into being something very annoying or even abusive. Then there are the more sociopathic types who are good at feigning the "needy bad boy with a heart of gold if only you dig deep enough" act. I doubt many woman out there genuinely want somebody like that, but plenty are probably burned by them in their quest to find a basically kind but dysfunctional man to "fix". Edited September 17, 2011 by Taramere
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I've encountered plenty of somewhat delinquent types (in the course of work) who are very emotional. It's often their difficulty in controlling their emotions (specifically anger) that leads them into trouble. They're often quite needy and have a tendency to get crushes very easily. Emotional types who get angry with themselves for having emotions, dabble with the traits of psychopathy in an effort to be manly, but who aren't actually psychopaths and therefore get struck with guilt, conscience and emotion. They're the male equivalent of the woman with daddy issues. Why do women like them? Because they're quite easy to manipulate, and on a less calculating level they do tend to touch the heart and bring out the maternal instincts....though sometimes the neediness spills over into being something very annoying or even abusive. Then there are the more sociopathic types who are good at feigning the "needy bad boy with a heart of gold if only you dig deep enough" act. I doubt many woman out there genuinely want somebody like that, but plenty are probably burned by them in their quest to find a basically kind but dysfunctional man to "fix". Very insightful...
motive2002 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 When a man has these characteristics, he will be looked at by plenty of women.. so the bad boy player type just evolves from that. Add to this that women like a man who's "in demand" and want to be the one who lands him.. well you can see where this is going. Women don't like wimps. Not in a physical sense, and not in an emotional/personality sense. Tough yet sensitive. I'm tired of media and such trying to emasculate men. We are getting all the wrong cues. Women do want sensitive men, but you need to be a MAN first, not a slobbering emotional panny-waist.
ChessPieceFace Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 The women asking for this are fully entrenched in their own worst animal nature, admitting they want both the disgusting (to me) alpha male and also a walking contradiction. Just be thankful they told you up front so you didn't waste your time on them.
Wolf18 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I don't think women are talking about Jean Luc Picard when they evoke bad boys . LOL a lot of women I know think Amon Goeth in Schindler's list is HOT! Shows you that even if you're a concentration camp guard as long as you have a pretty face and act like the alpha male the women will flock
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 When a man has these characteristics, he will be looked at by plenty of women.. so the bad boy player type just evolves from that. Add to this that women like a man who's "in demand" and want to be the one who lands him.. well you can see where this is going. Only insecure women who need validation by outside sources. I never went after a man because other women were after him. To be completely honest, whether other women found a guy I was interested in attractive or not never crosses my mind. If he is the type to go after lots of female attention rather carelessly, it make me less interested... not more. Women don't like wimps. Not in a physical sense, and not in an emotional/personality sense. Most healthy people want their partners to be well-balanced. I don't like brooding, macho a-holes who need to fling their manhood around. It isn't attractive. I'm tired of media and such trying to emasculate men. We are getting all the wrong cues. Women do want sensitive men, but you need to be a MAN first, not a slobbering emotional panny-waist. I'm tired of men giving other men excuses to act like jerks in the name of 'masculinity' and one-size fits all versions of attractiveness. Everyone has emotions. It is how they are transmitted that indicates one as a mature individual of either gender.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 And it's quite big. Pictures please. Halloween is right around the corner. I'm sure you can find a nice Star Trek uniform somewhere...
Ruby Slippers Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I think this is basically the equivalent of a man wanting a woman who is "a lady in the streets and a whore in the sheets" -- only for that one man, of course. Who doesn't want her own smoldering sexpot who will treat her like a queen and be her king? And vice versa.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I think this is basically the equivalent of a man wanting a woman who is "a lady in the streets and a whore in the sheets" -- only for that one man, of course. Who doesn't want her own smoldering sexpot who will treat her like a queen and be her king? And vice versa. Like I said, it's phrased badly. If people knew what bad boys actually were, they wouldn't state this. For example, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt aren't bad boys. Charlie Manson, on the other hand, IS.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 lovely description. (I haven't personally been attracted to "bad boy" types, but your reply is certainly yummy and is a perfect answer). Thanks! "Yummy" is exactly my type.
Sanman Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 My two theories on women who say such things are simple: 1. They watch a bit too much tv 2. They want a poser. Like the sweet nerdy kid, they just want him with tattoos, skinny jeans, hipster glasses, piercings, or whatever else they are attracted to. I have seen this work all the time. Women who know my nerdy side who all of a sudden become a attracted when they discover the tattoos, that I used to box and be a martial arts instructor, love fixing up cars, etc. It is not as if I am less nice or nerdy. They just want me to wear the bad boy parts on my sleeve so they can get attracted. Silly women.
torn_curtain Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 They want a poser. Like the sweet nerdy kid, they just want him with tattoos, skinny jeans, hipster glasses, piercings, or whatever else they are attracted to. I have seen this work all the time. Women who know my nerdy side who all of a sudden become a attracted when they discover the tattoos, that I used to box and be a martial arts instructor, love fixing up cars, etc. It is not as if I am less nice or nerdy. They just want me to wear the bad boy parts on my sleeve so they can get attracted. Silly women. Yeah, I'm one of those women, and I think a lot of women are like this. Not really attracted to tattoos, though, but I am attracted to stylish men who have a bit of a swagger (as long as it looks fairly effortless and not affected). I don't think women exactly want a POSER but they want somebody who is charming and can work the crowd when he wants to yet still has integrity if that makes any sense. I know it sounds contradictory, but there are definitely guys who pull that off. Just like guys want a girl who takes care of her appearance and is presentable in social company, but they still want somebody who is a good person beneath the surface.
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