Girlfriend of 1 yr broke up w/ me via text and is now on match.com

[Snarks025]

I am so heartbroken right now, I dont know what to do!

 

Story:

I was looking for love last August so I joined match.com and met the woman of my dreams (she is 27 and I am 26). We had alot in common and had a great time! We dated for a year and I went over to her place almost every single night, and we had talked about getting married. We had our ups and downs mainly because 4 months ago, she got a new job (which she ended up hating). Over the past 2 months, her sex drive went way down and we were lucky to be intimate once a week, which was a huge change. Other than that, she was a little less active, but she still said "I love you" everyday.

 

Two weeks ago, she texted me that she wanted to take a break and not to ask questions. Of course, I completely panicked because I love her. We have exchanged a couple emails since, but havent talked on the phone. She said she had some stuff that she had to work through on her own. I of course, said alright and in my head I was optimistic that we would work through this.

 

Fast forward to today, I was bored and was surfing around Match.com mainly to show myself there are other women out there and I ran across her profile (active within 24 hrs). I am doing my best to work through this, but its extremely tough. Not only did the love of my life break up with me via text, she lied about "having to work through issues" and is now on match.com two weeks later.

Edited September 17, 2011 by Snarks025

[Cowboy1015]

What a classy way to break up. Text message? Is she serious? That's not good at all. For me it says, she doesn't respect you.

 

If I were you, just continue looking for another girl in Match. Both of you are basically looking for a new love opportunities now. That is a positive step to moving on. Just keep doing that. If you think of her, just think that she's not respecting you. And that type of person doesn't deserve you.

 

At least my ex had the face to show up and talk to me for 15 minutes just to break up. That was 2 days ago... =D. So I thought she's really cool for doing that. On a side note... I hope we get back together.. lol. Anyway, about your ex... no class at all. Forget her.

 

I know it's easy to say. But trust me, I've been in your situation 2 days ago. I cried for 2 days... poured out all my emotions. I am fine now. Hopefully..lol... at least now... i feel relaxed and content. Just get busy with your friends. Go to the gym. Sit in starbucks... where I am now. Be around people.

Edited September 17, 2011 by Cowboy1015

[Snarks025]

Well....broke NC, I know I will regret it later but too late now:

 

texted: "good luck on match.com, glad to know you were able to work through things so quickly"

[Cowboy1015]

Well....broke NC, I know I will regret it later but too late now:

 

texted: "good luck on match.com, glad to know you were able to work through things so quickly"

 

Well... that already happened. Make it your last text to her. If she replies, don't reply.

[M2155]

I know it doesn't make you feel any better but, she might have been on Match.com just to prove to herself there are other guys out there also. (I remember seeing my ex on match while we were dating! I should have cut my losses then if THAT's not a red flag . But me even being on there to look was a red flag as well).

 

It sounds like things were not all 100% for both of you and since she left, I assure you she has been thinking about it. Promise. She probably needs to explore her options or she may miss the feeling she had earlier in your relationship. All I know is if she left you, she does need to work something out.

 

There is nothing you can do but give her space. It most likely has nothing to do with you or anything you're doing, but with how she feels with you. Sounds like she's gone through some changes and needs time to see what's best for her-sometimes that's just easier to see when you take a step back.

 

Text is a cowardly way to break it off but it has happened to many of us. I almost think sometimes the reason they can't bring themselves to face you is because they do care and they know they're hurting you. In a twisted way they think it's easier to just vanish when in actuality they are selfishly taking the easy way out. But I can tell you a couple months out it no longer makes a difference to me that my ex dumped me via text instead of face-to-face as the results are the same, although for the first couple weeks I was extremely angry:mad:.

 

I suspect the text that you sent, at least if it were me, would encourage me to keep moving. Don't send her any more texts. IF you feel the need to contact her, which I don't think you should, but if you do just say you're cool with the situation and happy to know you're both trying to figure out what you want.

[Fleabitten]

What a horrible way to break up. She is probably just attention seeking, hoping that you'll find her profile and be jealous or she has low self esteem and needs to feel wanted all the time instead of spending some time reflecting on the relationship break up and her part in it, which she needs to do to come away wiser.

 

She's a bl00dy idiot for going on a dating website. Imagine a few dates down the line when you start talking about previous relationship history - "oh I dumped my ex via text and just went straight on Match. We were together for a year!"

 

Any man with their brains remotely intact would run for the hills.

[Snarks025]

Thanks for the support! I am finally coming around to the realization that maybe we are better off apart. I have been looking for new jobs for a while, and this just gives me an excuse to look for better jobs in new towns.

 

She was a weak person, and very self conscious and that sort of rubbed off on me. It still scares me knowing I wont be with her the rest of my life (like I had previously thought), but it's her loss. She said she got onto match again because she was "bored and to take her mind off things," I personally think that's a recipe for disaster. Ive started thinking maybe she kept me around so long because she didn't want to be sitting around her home alone. We werent on the same timeline in terms of having a family together, which probably would have presented an issue later (she would always make comments about how she wanted a baby). I hope she finds love somewhere down the road, because she is a great person and in all honesty will make an amazing mom. Thats just something I am not quite ready for.

 

I still think about her everyday, and have moments where all I want to do is call her. But, those are fewer and father between.

[Mack05]

You need to forget about this girl because obviously she isn't the one for you!

 

Are you Mr Right??I wish you clowns would just go away....

[XmaryfeyX]

What a classy way to break up. Text message? Is she serious? That's not good at all. For me it says, she doesn't respect you.

 

Amen. No need to read further.