PrettyDress Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Hello, my name is __________. But call me_______. I met my second lover, (second affair) on June 27th, 2011. We texted for a bit before we planned to meet at a local pub and we met online. He is 37 years old, married 12 years with 3 kids and his is also a farmer. He is very handsome, humorous and kind. I am 21 years old, living with my boyfriend and our two year old boy named Oliver. My relationship with MM is very sexual and I am curious to see if maybe it is too sexual? We text every day and recently he told me that his bill was 150 dollars over because of our texting in just one month. We still text like crazy though. We dirty text a lot; we have phone sex when he can’t get away from the farm, and we also send each very intimate, long, and creative sexy emails. He is VERY good at all that too. I had asked where he learned to be so good at phone sex and erotica- he said it’s because some days he is bored at work with nothing to do. Of course, I was offended and told him that I didn’t want to feel like he is just ‘passing time’ until fall/winter with me. He got offended and said that he not just passing time with me and that when harvest is over he will still need me, even more than he needs me now. When we had our first intimate encounter in his wife’s van. We made out, petted and he went down on me three times in a row. We did not have sex because he said his guilty conscience was making him not be able to get fully erect. The second time, he had his truck; he took me to a park when it was dark and went down me again. Still didn’t have sex. Third time, it was in the van again where we just drove and made out. Finally, we got a room- which he paid for- we had sex for the first time- three times- on the second round he came inside of me ‘by accident’, All three times though he came very fast. Then the fifth time, he took me for a ride in his semi and we had sex again in the back where the bed is. Didn’t last so long but he made up for that in other ways. We cuddle, hold hands while driving, play music that we love- and it’s usually kinda mushy. Talk about everything and anything. We get a long great. He is very flirty in the way he touches me, he kisses me in a great way and we hug. This sounds really cheesy but we still can’t look at each other sometimes. He looks at me, looks away; I look at him then look away- and so on until we catch each other’s eye. I know this because of my Peripheral vision. He doesn’t want me to give him blow jobs because he doesn’t want to demean me; He says I am way too sweet to be doing that and he won’t cum in my mouth or face either. We are planning on meeting tonight and he said that he needs to cum inside of me. One thing that bothers me is that he doesn’t really compliment me. He told me once” There is something about you that keeps me entrapped in you”. I don’t know that really means. He also recently said that he loves my innocent look. He also says I am enduring and pretty. Sometimes when he writes me dirty- he will use romantic words and how he wants to make love to me. I guess I just want to write this out and see what others have to say. Give details. I am just curious if my affair is more sexual than usual? IS that a bad thing? Ps; Im his first affair. He wants this too last forever he said
MissBee Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I honestly don't know what to make of this..... Why do you have a boyfriend? You perhaps should also think twice about having unprotected sex when you're not monogamous with someone and have not been tested. If we think the sex is too much, will you cut back? I mean, I don't get why that matters.
Author PrettyDress Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 I honestly don't know what to make of this..... Why do you have a boyfriend? You perhaps should also think twice about having unprotected sex when you're not monogamous with someone and have not been tested. If we think the sex is too much, will you cut back? I mean, I don't get why that matters. Clearly looking for advice and opinions. thank you. Its appreciated. I just want to know if its too sexual. Is all.
ShatteredReality Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Once an affair goes physical it's all about the sex. It doesn't sound like you had much of an emotional affair to base this off of anyway...your primary common interest here is sex. It's either because of the excitement because it's so wrong (since you're both cheating), because of the interesting different places you have to go to in order to do it, the waiting and wanting between visits...all of it. Affairs cause a chemical release in the brain that causes the affair partner to become your addiction - you feed off of one another in a growing passion doing "what feels so right even though it's so wrong". Is your affair TOO sexual? Well....it's an affair...and it's sexual...so...yeah - it's too sexual by the standards of your boyfriend at home and his wife at home. But by the standards of the couple in the affair? It's very run of them mill, my dear. Your situation sounds extremely common - not to take any of the "special" out of it...but it is.
jj33 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Its only too sexual if you think its too sexual. Everyone has their own threshold. As for giving details. You are kidding right? Personally Im not one to kiss and tell
whichwayisup Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 You have a boyfriend, a child (a family unit) so why are you having an affair? What about the father of your child? I take it too, this is your second affair.. Again, why? If you don't love your boyfriend, and it does seem like you don't, why be with him? End it, set him free so he can find love and respect with someone who will love only him, not mess around on him behind his back. Just my 2 cents, even though I didn't answer your question about your MM (who IS using you btw for his own ego feed).
Circular Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Too much sex? In contrast to what? You relationship seems completely about sex. What I find curious about your post is the fact that you gave the name of your child, which makes me question the validity of your post to begin with. A mothers instinct is typically to protect their children to the utmost and wouldn't disclose the child's identity anywhere, especially under these circumstances. So, if you're real you need to go get some serious mental counseling.
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Too much sex? In contrast to what? You relationship seems completely about sex. What I find curious about your post is the fact that you gave the name of your child, which makes me question the validity of your post to begin with. A mothers instinct is typically to protect their children to the utmost and wouldn't disclose the child's identity anywhere, especially under these circumstances. So, if you're real you need to go get some serious mental counseling. That is exactly what I thought by reading this. You gave SO MUCH detail to everything. Dates, name of child, etc....but left your and his name out. And whats up with the SO detailed sexual stuff? You really don't have to go into so much for people to the gist of what your saying. As far as what someone else said that after A goes PA they are only about sex, I absolutely to not agree with that. I very much loved my xMM, and our A was not based upon sex at all. It was enjoyable, yes... but it wasn't based upon that. As far as it being too sexual, I agree with the poster that said that's up to you. And I'm really not understanding what it is that your trying to achieve from this. I mean asking us if we think its too sexual.... why do you care? If you think it is, then it is. If not, then it isn't. Plain and simple. Are you wondering if this guys wants you more than just sex? Thats a different subject than what you asked. And if that is what you are getting at, the answer I would say is no. He wants you for sex and that is it. You yourself made that very clear by the texts, emails and encounters you have.
fooled once Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Something smells fishy........ Where in God's name is this 2 year old little boy when you are off getting off with a married father of 3? I hope your 'boyfriend' figures things out and takes your child and finds his own place. This is so incredibly sad. At 21, you have valued yourself on who you have sex with and how often You and the MM will not be together forever. You will tire of him and want someone who will tell you daily how beautiful you are, how great of a lover you are, how xyz you are, etc. And when the next one doesn't do that enough, you will move on. I hope your boyfriend gets an STD check. You are not being very respectful to HIS body by having unprotected sex with people you meet on line. And you better be careful - your young son may lose his mother because of her need for stranger sex.
Silly_Girl Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Once an affair goes physical it's all about the sex. Is that what happened in your affair? I don't think that's necessarily the norm at all.
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Can I just add one more thing? Cuz when I got off of the thread, I just got sick. I'm sorry, but if you are for real. You really need to get some IC. SERIOUSLY. I am the last person that will get hateful on these things. I like to post things that at times disagree, but always trying to show someone something that opens their eyes. But I'm sorry, I can't soften this up any more than just this... Who comes on here and talks like this??? And then asks if their A is based too much on sex??? Anyone who feels free to speak like this on a forum, is really not a lady in my book. Thus maybe the reason why old farmer boy wants to do nothing but talk to you the way he does. Do you have absolutely zero respect for yourself??? And yes, why in the hell would you give your kids name, but not yours??? And if you are texting all freaking day and emailing and running around at night...who is watching Oliver??????
country_gurl Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 What a shameful story. You are 21 years old with a young son and a boyfriend........and you are sexually involved with a SHAMEFUL married father of 3 children and instead of feeling guilt or shame for any of this, you're just concerned about whether this "relationship" you have with him is all sexual and you're miffed because he doesn't compliment you. Seriously, get some professional help to help you get to the root of WHY you have no obvious qualms about cheating on your boyfriend, why you would risk exposing yourself to a whole host of STDs, why you would risk having an unplanned pregnancy, why you would have so little respect for another woman that you would be a sexual play-thing with her husband/the father of her children. Of COURSE this is nothing more than a sexual thing. You are free and easy sexual fun for this cheating scumbag.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 The writing on this site is getting more and more ... creative. Maybe try Penthouse Forum next time, instead?
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 The writing on this site is getting more and more ... creative. Maybe try Penthouse Forum next time, instead? I'm telling you.... we need a "like" button, like fb has!!! "like" "like" "LIKE"!!!!!
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Is that what happened in your affair? I don't think that's necessarily the norm at all. I completely agree with you!!
cupshalfempty Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I don't understand the question. Sex is sex. I think your question is more "is there more than just sex in the a" than is it too sexual. Your looking for validation that this is more than just a sexual encounter. Only you and he knows that. I think your looking for him not wanting a bj or to cum in your mouth as being more than it it, and his wanting to ejaculate inside of you as meaning something on a loving ground. As for being too sexual, I just don't understand what is too much? Honestly your sexual relationship sounds childish and trivial. Most people have a much more active and physical relationship than what your describing and have deep meaningful real life relationships to go with it, yet they aren't sitting there wondering if their relationship is too sexual. I just guess I'm confused @ what ur asking.
MissBee Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 The writing on this site is getting more and more ... creative. Maybe try Penthouse Forum next time, instead? My thoughts exactly....
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I don't understand the question. Sex is sex. I think your question is more "is there more than just sex in the a" than is it too sexual. Your looking for validation that this is more than just a sexual encounter. Only you and he knows that. I think your looking for him not wanting a bj or to cum in your mouth as being more than it it, and his wanting to ejaculate inside of you as meaning something on a loving ground. As for being too sexual, I just don't understand what is too much? Honestly your sexual relationship sounds childish and trivial. Most people have a much more active and physical relationship than what your describing and have deep meaningful real life relationships to go with it, yet they aren't sitting there wondering if their relationship is too sexual. I just guess I'm confused @ what ur asking. the OP posted another new thread. You need to read that one. Think your confused now??? Just wait!!!
ShatteredReality Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Is that what happened in your affair? I don't think that's necessarily the norm at all. Actually, it's not. But from the things that I read whatever the relationship starts on is how it progresses. Mine also ended fairly quickly - it didn't drag on for years, or months even. Also, I was informed by one of the psychologists I spoke with at the time that the physical contact is one of the primary ways the chemical releases in the brain occur during an affair. It doesn't always have to be sex, it can just be holding one another or holding hands even, but once it progresses to sex it usually keeps going back to it during the affair.
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