Had trouble with NC now i have to do it.

[k100danny]

I had trouble with no contact after my relationship ended, we hadnt been together long but she was my closest friend for a long time before this. basically for many reason such as

 

i have anxiety disorder which means i have low self esteem and get jealous ect, the fact that we argued quite a lot and im not sure if i ever accepted her fully for who she was ended our relationship, well she ended it but it was causing me lots of anxiety and making me ill. basically after the relationship i found it hard not to contact her, she admitted after a week or so she still had feelings but because of how we were together we shouldnt try again, i do agree with this but i don't have a lot of close friends, i have lots of friends and long time friends but i keep everyone at bay because of my anxiety so this was the first person i had let this deep into my life for a long time. I see that we weren't a great match either because of my always being anxious or the fact that i seem to not like how she was a lot of the time or if one was a product of the other. It isn't making this easier knowing that we werent right, there is a huge gap in my life that i can't seem to be able to fill. a couple of weeks after us breaking up she changed her number but said it wasnt because of me, she also deleted my number i assume so she didnt feel the need to contact me. anyway we stayed in contact for a bit through facebook and then i knew it was going nowhere so i did not read the final message she sent me as i knew it would just go back and forth. We had no contact for a week and then she contacted me, asking about a few things i said i would get returned to her, this kind of got me thinking about her again. i started to see pictures ect of her on facebook at a party with a guy i know liked her before we got together, i have been assured by other friends that there isnt anything going on between them but this started my contact again. she seems to go from nice saying things like i still have feelings for you and think about you a lot to being quite angry this is maybe because i do bring things up because i want to improve myself, ive never asked us to get back together but have admitted i still have feelings for whatever reason, i think because she was such a huge part of my life and the only person really close to me. anyway now she has deactivated her facebook account, she has said she was going to do it for a while but i guess the contact from me might have made her do it for my safe and hers. she deactivated like 3 times in the day and then came back on, she said she doesnt want facebook being a distraction as she is just starting a new university course which is understandble.

 

So now i have no way to go but no contact, I do think it is for the best, i hated feeling like the needy guy who couldnt get over his ex especially has she seemed to be ok quite quickly, she may not have felt ok but she was out in clubs ect with friends and going places while i was just sat at home. Can anyone recommend any ways to get over the relationship? I mean i know everyone thinks their relationship and situation is different but i really think mine is. due to my panic disorder i dont do a lot of social stuff, dont keep regular contact with my oldest friends because i feel i cant do the things they can ect. I know i dont hate my ex, maybe i still haven't got the the anger phase yet but hopefully one day we will be friends again as we were very close friends. any tips would be a big help. as i say the week we had no contact seemed to make me feel a bit better but she didntpost anything on facebook so i couldnt see anything and then a couple of her friends came to my house and the next thing i know she has sent another message. looks like i have to do the no contact thing now, i know people say you should delete your ex fro your facebook ect but i couldnt bring myself to do it.