futuregopher Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Hi everyone, I have been reading this forum for a couple of weeks now and it has helped me tremendously. I would just like some insight for my current situation. My ex and I were dating for 2 years and broke up with me after I visited her at her home in early August. I am 21 and she is 22. We met at school. I go to school in Illinois but live in NJ. She lives in Illinois so we have a LDR for the summer months. This past summer I only visited her once for a week in the last week of July. When I got back, she broke up with me over the phone because sometimes I do admit I get jealous if she goes out to restaurant/pubs etc with her friends and coworkers. We were in love with each other but it got to a point where I think she entered into a quarter life crisis. I am referring to the Urban Dictionary definition of "quarter life crisis". I doubt its GIGS because I think she just graduated college (I am still a senior in college) and started working so the real world experience just hit her. She told me she wants to focus on her career and making new friends because in all honesty, she only had her college roommate and me as "true" friends. She has 1600+ friends on facebook but is one of those people who acts cheery to everybody as a front but behind the scenes can be lonely. We had our small arguments like everyone does and were for the most part very happy to be together. We were always honest with each other, never cheated on each other and were in love with each other. If we were still together today, it would have been a someone LDR as I go to school 3.5 hours away from her home. I do have 3 day weekends at school so that wouldn't have been a problem and I wouldn't have minded bus rides since I would get to see her. She said she doesn't want to date but I am a bit skeptical from what everyone has been saying on here to take everything the ex says with a grain of salt. But I do believe what she says because she seems very career driven right now. Her status was "single" when I met her but it has been removed completely since the breakup. I changed my status to "single" a few days ago. I was such an idiot for the first two weeks of the breakup. I refused to believe it was over, pleaded, and even bought gifts. The week I got to school, it was really lonely because everywhere on campus, it reminded me of her. I eventually downloaded a bunch of "Get your ex back" e-books for free and tried their 3-4 week NC rule. The Magic of Making up was interesting because it suggested writing a letter to her agreeing with the breakup and just moving on. Three days later, I get a phone call from her for the first time since the breakup which I do not pick up but eventually did. I only got to 3 days of NC at this point. I tried NC again for a full week but on Friday of the next week, she called me about 20 times. I finally gave in and talked to her over gchat instead of the phone for 2 hours. She said she was going to come down to our school's career fair. I said "okay, maybe we can get a quick bite to eat". I met with her this past Wednesday and got a quick dinner with her. By this point, I had been going to the gym 6 times per week and gotten rid of that panicking feeling and was not bitter at all. I was happy to be with her but I just could get the sense that she was still in that "quarter life crisis mood". After she dropped me off at my apartment I gave her a hug and she drove off. It was crazy all the emotions I felt RIGHT after she left. I felt confused and lonely and just wanted to cry. This was two days ago and I have been on pure NC since. It's only been two days but I am extremely confused. I've been going out to the campus bars pretty frequently and occasionally I get "indicators of interest" (for those of you who read The Game by Neil Strauss) from girls but I just shut off completely. I pretend I am interested in them but I hate leading people on like that. I'm not the type that tries for one night stands/hookups as I get more satisfaction from dating and relationships. I am kind of like E for those that watch Entourage. Sorry for the long post but I would just like some guidance on what to do. I am going to keep NC for as long as possible while trying to get out there and date more people. I haven't been on a date since I got on campus and I just get this feeling that a relationship right now won't work since I only have 3 months left of school and I will be going back to NJ after school and most people here are in state residents. Any guidance and advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this.
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