9Lives Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Something strange is going on I wanted to share. Last Monday, my ex boyfriend of 5 years asked me to go out for dinner to watch the game. We had a good time. We had a very bitter break up so it was nice to put all of it behind me. I told him I was over it...and I am. He was real happy to see me. Later on when we left, he text me with small talk then asked me how was my luv life. I told him I was dating...he said me too. Which surprised me! On fb his girlfriend has her profile picture of him and her all the time. check this out, she became fb friends with one of my closest friends a couple of days ago and she knows we are good friends. In the last 2 days, she has changed her profile picture like 4 times. Im like wow! she is really trying to tell me something. What is so funny is that she dont know that he took me out and that he claims he is dating. I think it is funny. Truthfully I cant stand her. I feel like she likes to rub things in my face. of course Im not letting her know that I want to bust her in the face but yeah I do for trying to be funny. Im just telling you all. See how people can be?
Author 9Lives Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 What is also funny is that he was hinting around that he wanted to see me again and that I looked good. I could tell he wanted to start communicating regularly again but I dont want to go there. My thing is that he caused me so much pain that I dont want him back even tho Im happy we are not enemies. I just dont really like seeing pictures of him with her and I feel like she is doing it on purpose anyway. of course, there is nothing I can do about.
Pasttense Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Of course there is something you can do about it--not look at those Facebook profiles.
oaks Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I just dont really like seeing pictures of him with her and I feel like she is doing it on purpose anyway. of course, there is nothing I can do about. Time you learned how to use Facebook. When one of those pictures shows up in your News Feed, move your mouse over it so that a small X appears towards the top right and then click on that X and you should get some options to either hide the story or hide all posts by that person. The other thing you can do is come here and bitch about it, which you just did, and that's fine too.
Kamille Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 So you think your ex of 5 years' current girlfriend purposefully added a friend of yours on Facebook, knowing your friend's security settings, then purposefully changed her pictures frequently with the sole intent of making you jealous? Well, it's possible. But what's even more amazing is that you actually noticed! Apparently, you were paying attention. I think the jealousy, in this case, goes both ways.
make me believe Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 So you think your ex of 5 years' current girlfriend purposefully added a friend of yours on Facebook, knowing your friend's security settings, then purposefully changed her pictures frequently with the sole intent of making you jealous? Well, it's possible. But what's even more amazing is that you actually noticed! Apparently, you were paying attention. I think the jealousy, in this case, goes both ways. Seriously! This is so ridiculous and immature. How old are you guys? Why do you even look at your ex's new girlfriend's facebook often enough to notice that she changed her profile picture 4 times in 2 days? More importantly, WHY DO YOU CARE?! This says a lot more about YOU than her.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I think you are making a lot of drama out of nothing. Honestly, if the girlfriend was trying to make you jealous, she'd have more clear ways of doing it. This is all in your imagination.
ja123 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 he caused me so much pain that I dont want him back ... I just dont really like seeing pictures of him with her ... Don't see him again, he's not good for your emotional state. Cut him out of your life and mmove on.
whichwayisup Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 What is also funny is that he was hinting around that he wanted to see me again and that I looked good. I could tell he wanted to start communicating regularly again but I dont want to go there. My thing is that he caused me so much pain that I dont want him back even tho Im happy we are not enemies. I just dont really like seeing pictures of him with her and I feel like she is doing it on purpose anyway. of course, there is nothing I can do about. Sweets... You can't be 'friends' with him. Too much has happened.. It's one thing to email once in a blue moon, say hi.. but to see him? I'm afraid it'll hurt you in the long run..What if he wants to see you a few more times? do dinner, or what if he tries to kiss you. Already you know he's a scummy guy, and look how he's telling you he's dating, yet his gf isn't aware of it. Shield your heart my lovely 9! I don't want you getting hurt again by him!
Author 9Lives Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Sweets... You can't be 'friends' with him. Too much has happened.. It's one thing to email once in a blue moon, say hi.. but to see him? I'm afraid it'll hurt you in the long run..What if he wants to see you a few more times? do dinner, or what if he tries to kiss you. Already you know he's a scummy guy, and look how he's telling you he's dating, yet his gf isn't aware of it. Shield your heart my lovely 9! I don't want you getting hurt again by him! Hi whichwayisup....I always miss you!!!!! I love when I hear from you even if I dont like it.....in this case I do!!!! You know exactly who I am talking about if you made that comment. You remember my pain huh? I have to agree with you alll the way. That chapter is closed!
Author 9Lives Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 So you think your ex of 5 years' current girlfriend purposefully added a friend of yours on Facebook, knowing your friend's security settings, then purposefully changed her pictures frequently with the sole intent of making you jealous? Well, it's possible. But what's even more amazing is that you actually noticed! Apparently, you were paying attention. I think the jealousy, in this case, goes both ways. Well I am on my friends page all the time so it was easy to notice. I am sure that is why she did it. I know she did
Author 9Lives Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 9Lives, I think the best advice I can give you is to stay away from him. So you had a bad breakup. He has a girlfriend and that comes with new issues to deal with... don't be a part of his drama... he sucked you back in for a night out. I wouldn't do it again if I were you... and I am not sure I would even text or be FB friends with him either. And as for his insecure gf, I suggest you block her asap. Do yourself a favor and stay away from them all. You will be healthier for it in the long run. You know what? I think your right!
country_gurl Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Why are YOU going on dates with an ex who clearly is involved/has a girlfriend that you would have known about? That's pretty skanky if you ask me.
omkara Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Is she pulling the "LOOK, I'm having fun with other guys!" bullshyt? That's when you should just delete her and anyone that may be able to link her information about what you're doing, or WHO you're doing.
Author 9Lives Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Why are YOU going on dates with an ex who clearly is involved/has a girlfriend that you would have known about? That's pretty skanky if you ask me. I went because I was happy to see him and not want to be with him and just to clear the air between us. Im not interested in being with him anymore. Its nothing wrong with that. And when I was with him, she did it to me in a very bold way knowing I was with him at the time. Not that I am trying to get him back, Im just telling you what happen.
Author 9Lives Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 We all have our opportunities to make mistakes, and we all make them. What matters most is that we don't repeat them. Yeah I agree. I have decided to listen to the advice of some of the people on here. What is so funny is that he text me last night talking about whats up. Im like hmmmm. I didnt respond. I know what up now. That explains all the changing of pictures and trying to post on my friends pages more often. What she dont realize is that, thats her headache now. I dont want to be with him but I really dont like her either. No, Im not going to delete my friends who are afflilated with her because I am close to those ladies. We are together almost every weekend. They call us the 3 twins. So thats not going to happen. We are like sisters. I was going to block her but now I dont see the need to. The writting is on the wall now. I love it!>........ Come on now yall. Dont act like if your ex was messing with another chic and she was quick to rub it in your face while you was dying inside you wouldnt take some kind of happy in the fact she is doing all that fronting and he is trying to get back with you. Im just saying. He even told me, while she doing all this extra profile adjusting, that HE IS DATING. Yeah, he is her heartache now. If it is not me, it will be someone else. He ready to do something different. Just like he did me.
daphne Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Come on now yall. Dont act like if your ex was messing with another chic and she was quick to rub it in your face while you was dying inside you wouldnt take some kind of happy in the fact she is doing all that fronting and he is trying to get back with you. Im just saying. I don't think there's anything abnormal about having the feeling, depending on the length of time that you guys broke up. But at some point, you do have to let it go. It sounds like there maybe two girls playing jealous games, not one (and I don't mean your friend.) It doesn't sound like you're really over him or you wouldn't care about anything she did. Does winning really matter? In my mind, when I see a girl that acts that way I know she's insecure and my response would be to take the high road. It can be very difficult until well practiced, but honestly that's the only way to win with someone who's petty. If they're doing it on purpose they want a petty response. Don't respond, and you're taking teh enjoyment away. It feels good. Because your mutual friends will sway your way knowing that the other person is kind of an ass.
Author 9Lives Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 I don't think there's anything abnormal about having the feeling, depending on the length of time that you guys broke up. But at some point, you do have to let it go. It sounds like there maybe two girls playing jealous games, not one (and I don't mean your friend.) It doesn't sound like you're really over him or you wouldn't care about anything she did. Does winning really matter? In my mind, when I see a girl that acts that way I know she's insecure and my response would be to take the high road. It can be very difficult until well practiced, but honestly that's the only way to win with someone who's petty. If they're doing it on purpose they want a petty response. Don't respond, and you're taking teh enjoyment away. It feels good. Because your mutual friends will sway your way knowing that the other person is kind of an ass. BLAME IT ON THE EGO TRIP!!! It was just 5 minutes of fame!!! lol But you are right. this might be a indication that I still have some letting go to do. This guy ripped my heart out and part of it was my own fault so I own my part of it. You know how it feels when you run into that person and your like ok and not emotionally jacked up. It just feels so good! I guess I get a kick out of it because she helped make it worst by how she did things. Now its on her. You guys are totally right. Honestly I got my satisfaction out of the situation with him stiffing around me again really. Thats enought for me. I laugh at her now knowing I could go there and bring her some grief but Im not interested in wasting my time. Keep it moving
daphne Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 BLAME IT ON THE EGO TRIP!!! It was just 5 minutes of fame!!! lol But you are right. this might be a indication that I still have some letting go to do. This guy ripped my heart out and part of it was my own fault so I own my part of it. You know how it feels when you run into that person and your like ok and not emotionally jacked up. It just feels so good! I guess I get a kick out of it because she helped make it worst by how she did things. Now its on her. You guys are totally right. Honestly I got my satisfaction out of the situation with him stiffing around me again really. Thats enought for me. I laugh at her now knowing I could go there and bring her some grief but Im not interested in wasting my time. Keep it moving I've been there. I get how it is when women get catty or competitive. I never liked feeling petty so I wanted to opt out of the catty behavior. My first phase was not responding to it, and I would look down on her for going there. But the girl in question would generally smell my self righteousness and it didn't really have the same effect that I was hoping to get. She'd end up resentful and disrespectful anyway, but maybe not as openly catty. But she'd still act petty. When I got to a place where I had a little more compassion to her insecurity, but a high respect for myself not to engage, it usually neutralizes the situation and the girl will stop playing games. Also, if there's a guy involved, his respect for you goes higher so it's harder for her to take it out on you if he's not on her side about it. Glad to hear you're moving on. They are not worth any more negative energy. When you have reached apathy, you've won.
Author 9Lives Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 I've been there. I get how it is when women get catty or competitive. I never liked feeling petty so I wanted to opt out of the catty behavior. My first phase was not responding to it, and I would look down on her for going there. But the girl in question would generally smell my self righteousness and it didn't really have the same effect that I was hoping to get. She'd end up resentful and disrespectful anyway, but maybe not as openly catty. But she'd still act petty. When I got to a place where I had a little more compassion to her insecurity, but a high respect for myself not to engage, it usually neutralizes the situation and the girl will stop playing games. Also, if there's a guy involved, his respect for you goes higher so it's harder for her to take it out on you if he's not on her side about it. Glad to hear you're moving on. They are not worth any more negative energy. When you have reached apathy, you've won. This is very good way to look at it all. I think you are right. Thanks for higher thinking!
Recommended Posts