LSgirl Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Short background: We've been together over 8 months (first 2 months awesome but rocky since he got out of a 8 year relationship with his ex-fiance and was still hurt), but since then everything is great. We have a lot in common but of course no relationship is perfect... Lately, I find myself becoming more and more short with him (he has also mentioned this to me a couple weeks ago) I thought it was my birth control, so I even switched over to a new brand a few days ago. Theres things I wouldn't have said anything before, but notice them now or refuse to let it slide. BUT, at the same time, I'm not sure if I'm just acting like a brat or have good reasons to voice my concerns. Please be honest with me, I appreciate any feedback To be more detailed, last night, he said he was going on a trip to another island for 2 days. I was disappointed and told him that I wish we could take a trip together. When we first went out, I mentioned going to Ireland (we can't afford that anyway) or even Disneyland (he didn't seem too interested). He has sent me a link or two of places he wanted to go on a Groupon he saw (Costa Rica) and mentioned how he likes tropical places like Honduras, caribbean islands (places he knows i have no interest in going, since we already live in a tropical island lol) Anyway, I told him that I wish we planned together a trip where we could save money. He said this camping trip with 10 other people is a cheap trip (it's only $200) and that there's other things he's been saving up for like a motorcycle. I just wish he would have maybe invited me even if he knew I wouldn't be up for the trip (then he invited me lol). Then he said I didn't invite him to my sister's wedding a couple weeks ago in Texas. (Which is true, I didn't invite him but my sister paid for my trip and it was a small wedding, not even my mom went) but i don't think it bothered him since he probably wouldn't have gone. He said he was going to Florida for his 10yr high school reunion next year and i could come if I wanted to and visit his friends/family. In any case, other SMALL things like when we're coming out of his apartment, he walks way ahead of me towards the elevator. After we have sex, he usuallly rolls over and falls asleep or gets up to smoke, no cuddling. HOWEVER, I'm just saying all the things that are annoying me, but there's LOTS of good things about him I'm not mentioning here such as he's a gentleman in other areas, he opens the door for me everytime, takes me out (I take him out too), he cooks hours for me, offers me a jacket when I'm cold, randomly bought me flowers, remembers things I like, humanitarian, great sense of humor, loyal, honest, intelligent, and of course handsome. Sorry if i'm all over the place wtih this, I guess what I'm saying is there's a lot of things he used to do when we first dated (texted me goodmorning/night, sent me songs) we still communicate everyday, but I feel like the romantic side has slowed down. I'm so used to past relationships where the guy wants to spend all of his time with me, very affectionate, has told me they love me (prematurely since we were young then). Me and my bf now haven't said I Love You, but I'm not rushing that until maybe around the 1 year mark I'll see how much the relationship has progressed. Should I just not worry about the little things (like he walks ahead of me towards the elevator, doesn't cuddle after sex, and other things like doesn't talk about the future with me or say romantic things, etc...he's a very straightforward and honest guy) I really don't want to push him away. He's not the type that likes to talk about our relationship. He hasn't done anything wrong, it's just things I wish he did that were more romantic, so I wonder if he was romantic with his ex, or just not as much with me? I feel like I'm building up resentment since I don't know how serious this relationship is and how he feels about me, and I don't want to seem like I'm unhappy when he does make me happy, it's just those little things that I get short with him about may push him away. What do you guys think?
thatone Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I really don't want to push him away. He's not the type that likes to talk about our relationship. He hasn't done anything wrong, it's just things I wish he did that were more romantic, so I wonder if he was romantic with his ex, or just not as much with me? I feel like I'm building up resentment since I don't know how serious this relationship is and how he feels about me, and I don't want to seem like I'm unhappy when he does make me happy, it's just those little things that I get short with him about may push him away. What do you guys think? those two are mutually exclusive. he can't read your mind. you can't read his. the only solution is to talk about such things.
Author LSgirl Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 you're right, i do want to talk to him about it. but i dont want him to think im being a nag or a brat by bringing up stuff that may not even be all that big of a deal to begin with and push him away. i don't think he's done anything wrong, i think i expect him to act more romantic, and maybe that's not really him, or maybe he was with his ex and not with me because he was so hurt, who knows. i just feel the weird awkwardness/tension if i bring up something and he's wondering why im upset about it.
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