Dblock10 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 today i have realised this has gone to far. i am loosing sight and hope of a lot things, all because of a girl that i didnt want to loose and i have. i feel like an idiot that cant move on or like a crazy person that cant let go. this isnt right. i cannot hurt anymore, she is leaving for 6 months and we are broken up. how much longer am i going to morn over this. shes moved on and probably doesnt think about me. since i last spoke to her on fb about my nan ive not heard from her. this is silly now. its unhealthy and i hate talking about it. don't even know why i am writing this. i thought i was doing well. i thought i could move on and forget everything but i cant. my brain wont let go. i wish she would come back to me, i wish we didnt have to break up due to the timing of where we were both at in "life"
smudge21 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I know exactly what it's like to want to move on but not being able to. I can go days even weeks and feel fine now but then hear something or remember something and I just feel crap again. There's no real easy fix for this other than constant NC best you can and time. There's no time limit on how long it takes either, so try to keep busy as it's the quiet times which will hurt the most.
ConfusedT Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 its not silly to mourn. everyone heals differently, what matters is that you recognize when it is time to truly let go and move on instead of holding on to false hopes and dreams. if its not going to work, nothing will make it! let things fall into place and do not force, let go for yourself to free yourself of some pain... if you want to hold on to something, hold on to the lessons learned, not the memories, because if you arent really over her, they will hurt too. =(
Author Dblock10 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 yeah i have had a few good nights out, and such, but its like everything i do is a short term fix and then i sink back into a mode of emptiness and sadness. so realistically i probably wont have moved on even by the time she is back in this country! then what! ive not spoke to her since i broke nc on fb chat. but i felt i needed to test the waters and tell her about my nan. she asked how i was and i went offline. not heard since. probably wont either. i hope this wont mean if i reach out again in the future (if i do) that she will then ignore me... :S did you guys read that post of mine about what i said to her etc. if its not going to work, nothing will make it! let things fall into place and do not force, let go for yourself to free yourself of some pain... i like this line, i hate being out of control. and like i said to my friend, i think its hurt my ego somewhat, like "how come she didnt fight for me" but the answer is simple, she didnt feel as deeply about me as i did for her. again i torture myself a little when i think back to when we went long distance and i mentioned first about it not working etc. i wish i could have just said to her, do you want to stay with me whilst u go, cause i want to stay with you. but nope. i feel i screwed up there and in trying to protect myself i ended up loosing her. if you want to hold on to something, hold on to the lessons learned, not the memories, because if you arent really over her, they will hurt too. =( yeah i think those would be easy to conclude. and yeah memories hurt a lot.
antinko Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 The fact you wrote that OP shows you're moving on. You're getting to the stage where you're going to be proactive about your grief. Hang on in there mate.
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