LZ2000 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Ladies and gentlemen, How do you date, court, live with and love a soft hearted female wife/fiance/girlfriend ? And make her happy ? I would like to hear your experiences, thoughts, feelings. I admit that I am someone who doesn't have a clue about women like that (no pun intended, no sarcasm intended), so I'd like to hear from you guys.
Gentlegirl Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Ladies and gentlemen, How do you date, court, live with and love a soft hearted female wife/fiance/girlfriend ? And make her happy ? I would like to hear your experiences, thoughts, feelings. I admit that I am someone who doesn't have a clue about women like that (no pun intended, no sarcasm intended), so I'd like to hear from you guys. I think you are on the wrong forum. I wonder what you mean by soft hearted. Gentlegirl
wannabdone Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I think you are on the wrong forum. I wonder what you mean by soft hearted. Gentlegirl LOL...I was thinking the same thing GG. What is a soft heart woman?
spice4life Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Me too...I was wondering the same thing! We can't help you without more details, OP.
ScienceGal Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 soft-hearted = easily hurt and offended? I used to be this way. Over time I began to care less about the little things. And now I am just shut off completely since my last breakup... so we'll see what I end up like on the other side of this. I would think that if she feels stable and safe in the relationship that she might be a little less sensitive. My previous relationship had me on edge all the time and I worried many times that we were going to separate... that made many things bother me that normally wouldn't. I had a sinking feeling in my heart pretty much everyday. Just be open and honest with her.
Author LZ2000 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) My bad. I'm sorry, i should have defined what I meant by soft hearted. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/soft-hearted Good people of Loveshack, you may want to read the thread I created below to read my story............. Yeah, I am a little emotionally stressed by my difficulties, but I'm coping better now. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t296751/ Edited September 17, 2011 by LZ2000
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I think we all know what the definition of soft hearted is, I think we were asking more what your definition of soft hearted was and what was happening to make you feel like she was. I remember your post, I don't think I commented. Seemed that it didn't really fit into this forum. But, Since you have went out of your way to post this question a couple of times. Lets get down to the real deal. So this special interest group...is this something that she is helping others that she has went through herself at one point?
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Some other questions... you said its been bugging you for about a month. Has there been a change where shes more involved? How long have you been in a R with her? How long has she been involved with this group?
Author LZ2000 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 So this special interest group...is this something that she is helping others that she has went through herself at one point? Well she is helping others, but she has never went through a situation where she requires help in that special interest group. Some other questions... you said its been bugging you for about a month. Has there been a change where shes more involved? How long have you been in a R with her? How long has she been involved with this group? About 4 months, i've been in a relationship with her ? She has been involved with this group like 2 months.
Circular Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Well, firstly this isn't the right area for this particular post but that's ok, let me try to see if I can help... Firstly, I'm struggling because of how vague you are being in your description of your relationship with this woman. I understand that it's been 4 months, which isn't a long time by any standard. And, I'm sensing a lack of excitement/passion on both of your parts in this relationship. I feel almost like 'soft hearted' is you making an excuse for this lack of interest/excitement. That it's because of 'soft hearted' that she isn't focused on you and the relationship, which is contradictory as a 'soft hearted' person or a highly empathetic person would be concerned on both fronts and openly express their frustration of such fact. You talk about this SIG like it's an all consuming thing for her and maybe that's truly the case but I'm missing the zing I'd expect in an early relationship, the focus, etc... I almost wonder if it's one of these situations where you are really into her but she's just not that into the relationship. I almost get the feeling that you both are both in your later years as well. Let me know if I'm close, the more info the better advice we can try to give.
wannabdone Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Well, firstly this isn't the right area for this particular post but that's ok, let me try to see if I can help... Firstly, I'm struggling because of how vague you are being in your description of your relationship with this woman. I understand that it's been 4 months, which isn't a long time by any standard. And, I'm sensing a lack of excitement/passion on both of your parts in this relationship. I feel almost like 'soft hearted' is you making an excuse for this lack of interest/excitement. That it's because of 'soft hearted' that she isn't focused on you and the relationship, which is contradictory as a 'soft hearted' person or a highly empathetic person would be concerned on both fronts and openly express their frustration of such fact. You talk about this SIG like it's an all consuming thing for her and maybe that's truly the case but I'm missing the zing I'd expect in an early relationship, the focus, etc... I almost wonder if it's one of these situations where you are really into her but she's just not that into the relationship. I almost get the feeling that you both are both in your later years as well. Let me know if I'm close, the more info the better advice we can try to give. I agree. Its difficult any way you slice it trying to get help on these things, but when you won't give any more back ground or detail, its impossible. But, from what you gave, 4 months isn't long at all, and if only 2 months into it she is already heavily involved in a SIG that is consuming most of her time, well, that doesn't sound soft hearted at all. It sounds quite the opposite, and possibly soft hearted might be used as an excuse to allow her to be somewhere else. Quite frankly if you are only 4 months into a R, this should be a "honeymoon phase". Your falling in love, the feelings are consuming you can't get enough of eachother, etc. etc. If only two months into something and your GF is finding an excuse (I don't care what it is), to be somewhere else....that isn't love. I know you said you were deeply in love, but I just can't see how that equals deeply in love to me. Especially being a woman. So, if you could offer more insight... what is it that the two of you do together? Why do you think this is love? How often is she spending time with this SIG? What makes her so special that only 2 months into a R you are willing to put up with something that causes you enough issues that you feel the need to come on here and ask about it? Just provide as much insight as you can, and maybe it won't be a bunch of random posts, just taking shots in the dark to help you.
Author LZ2000 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 I wish I could reveal all of the details of my complicated situation here, and receive good honest advice made in good faith. However, I have a personal obligation to protect the private details of my girlfriend's life as well. And to write the details here is to violate her trust in me. Therefore, I will not be posting anymore of my problematic situation in these forums anymore. As painful as it is, as much as I want closure as advice, I will stop mentioning about my situation from this point onwards. Thank you everyone, for your kind support. From the bottom of my heart, you all have my gratitude.
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