Emilia Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No, I would never date a mentally ill person. Depression is a mental illness and I only date healthy people, not someone that needs to pop pills to keep their head above water. I have been through tough times like everyone else (including a divorce) but didn't have to alter the chemical balance of brain to cope
Emilia Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No shyte Sherlock, but the same could be said for someone who has diabetes or asthma; so are you saying that you only date those who can prove to you that they have absolutely no health issues whatsoever? If they cannot fully function without physical aid to help their condition, I wouldn't date them either. I am a very active and physical person, don't want to be with someone that would require constant assistance or wouldn't be able to survive a week out in the ocean for example (asthma attacks, etc)
ShannonMI Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Taking antidepressants IS a big deal. It shows me that something is wrong. Sometimes it is the right step to take (although all too often people take them way too quickly - and the responses in this thread point to that as well), but it shows me that I should not be in a relationship with this person right now. Something may be wrong, but if someone is willing to take meds to correct what is wrong then this is a good thing. I can't imagine not dating someone just because they are depressed and on medication. That would be like not dating someone because they take meds for diabetes. So shallow
Feelin Frisky Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No, I would never date a mentally ill person. Depression is a mental illness and I only date healthy people, not someone that needs to pop pills to keep their head above water. I have been through tough times like everyone else (including a divorce) but didn't have to alter the chemical balance of brain to cope Nothing is so black and white when it comes to "depression"--look at the word itself, it's subjective in the extreme. No human being is perfect. And things are really always a case of states of mental wellness rather than mental illness. You yourself are probably mentally well. Does that mean you'll never be mentally unwell? No. It doesn't. Taking today's medications to manage one's mental wellness is nothing like "popping pills". That's misinformation and you are perpetuating a dangerous variety of it by putting it that way. "Popping pills" is "escaping reality". Taking anti-depressants with a doctor's care is "facing reality". Doing nothing is often "being in stubborn denial" and those are the people who are most problematic to anyone else they get involved with.
ShannonMI Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Nothing is so black and white when it comes to "depression"--look at the word itself, it's subjective in the extreme. No human being is perfect. And things are really always a case of states of mental wellness rather than mental illness. You yourself are probably mentally well. Does that mean you'll never be mentally unwell? No. It doesn't. Taking today's medications to manage one's mental wellness is nothing like "popping pills". That's misinformation and you are perpetuating a dangerous variety of it by putting it that way. "Popping pills" is "escaping reality". Taking anti-depressants with a doctor's care is "facing reality". Doing nothing is often "being in stubborn denial" and those are the people who are most problematic to anyone else they get involved with. So true. Everyone at some point in their lives will be mentally unwell. Some will have to take medication. Taking pills to correct a chemical imbalance isn't the same as popping pills. Taking medicine to treat a medical condition is the responsible thing to do.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I would, but only if they were seeking out additional treatment / alternatives to medication. Brain chemistry itself changes over time. At some point, medication is going to become inefficient or ineffective and or often times even detrimental for the one taking it. The human brain is still an enigma and brain medication is still largely an experimentation. Failing a severe psychosis (such as schizophrenia), I do not think medications should be *relied* upon for the long-term. Thoughts themselves change neurotransmitters... thoughts themselves can have power over "chemicals" that are released and or withheld.
country_gurl Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 If they cannot fully function without physical aid to help their condition, I wouldn't date them either. I am a very active and physical person, don't want to be with someone that would require constant assistance or wouldn't be able to survive a week out in the ocean for example (asthma attacks, etc) Our health, each and every one of us, is a gift which could change dramatically tomorrow. A person could be in the best health one day but suddenly diagnosed with cancer or be involved in a serious motor vehicle accident the next day. I hope for your sake that one day you're not faced with health issues such that nobody wants to be with you.
ShannonMI Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I would, but only if they were seeking out additional treatment / alternatives to medication. Brain chemistry itself changes over time. At some point, medication is going to become inefficient or ineffective and or often times even detrimental for the one taking it. The human brain is still an enigma and brain medication is still largely an experimentation. Failing a severe psychosis (such as schizophrenia), I do not think medications should be *relied* upon for the long-term. Thoughts themselves change neurotransmitters... thoughts themselves can have power over "chemicals" that are released and or withheld. I've been on anti-depressants for 15 years. My meds have not become ineffective. I've had to change meds a few times over the years, but they have always worked for me. Some people have a chemical imbalance and need medication for life to even this out.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) I've been on anti-depressants for 15 years. My meds have not become ineffective. I've had to change meds a few times over the years, but they have always worked for me. Some people have a chemical imbalance and need medication for life to even this out. Yes, changing them... this is what I'm referring to. The natural build up of tolerance as well as the natural changing state of the brain / body... I've known several people on antidepressants... sometimes it just takes being prescribed the wrong medication for them to plummet into an even deeper abyss than they began in. It does not solve their problems. I think it is good to use them in order to temporarily cope *whilst* they seek the root to their problems. We *all* have chemical imbalances... no one is perfectly balanced at all times. Many things can influence our states. Many. As for myself, I've been a raging *borderline personality*, I've been a suicidal mess in the past (my first attempt was when I was 7), among so much else. I did not personally find solace in medication alone. Becoming dependent on it never sat well with me either though. Alas... I am not a stranger to mental illness. My mother is an untreated schizophrenic (I haven't seen nor talked to her for years now) as was my grandfather... I have other family members who are seriously violent and out there too. I would not recommend they and others attempt to continue life without the aid of medication. We do not currently live in a world where volatile mental illness is socially acceptable... and until other solutions are discovered, it is in everyone's best interest that they are treated as well as our health systems currently know how to. But barring extremes, there are far healthier ways to exist without medication that is not even understood well. Sometimes people need to experience pain and live it through to heal... I don't think I can change my view that prescribing general medication for what are usually very real and acceptable emotions / reactions to circumstances are anything more than a crutch that will crumble at some point in time. Peace within oneself, lasting... substantial peace, does not come from artificial means. Edited September 17, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
Feelin Frisky Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 ... medication is going to become inefficient or ineffective and or often times even detrimental for the one taking it. .. ^ That is not true any more. You're talking about "efficacy" and the types of meds that used to be prescribed for depression and anxiety which merely either stimulated or tranquilized the central nervous system would lose efficacy over time and require more to get the same effect. Arguably long term use could also wear out the body in some regards. But SSRI medications which have revolutionized treatment of psycho-social-emotional maladies do not operate the same way and don't lose efficacy. The help a brain manage its own juices rather than medicating the symptom where it is felt in the body. There is no evidence of that doing any damage to anyone. If a person has allergies or other sensitivities to ingredients, that's a different story. But there is no basic reason to think that SSRI meds are going to take anything away from a person over the long term and they can change so much for the better that the same person can go from a shut in to an achiever that makes a difference in other people's lives. I'd like to see all remnants of bias based on older medications be wiped away so, I speak up at every chance I get. i hope you don't take what i say as clobbering you. I didn't mean to--just crusading to end over-generalities than give people excuses to do nothing.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 ^ That is not true any more. You're talking about "efficacy" and the types of meds that used to be prescribed for depression and anxiety which merely either stimulated or tranquilized the central nervous system would lose efficacy over time and require more to get the same effect. Arguably long term use could also wear out the body in some regards. But SSRI medications which have revolutionized treatment of psycho-social-emotional maladies do not operate the same way and don't lose efficacy. The help a brain manage its own juices rather than medicating the symptom where it is felt in the body. There is no evidence of that doing any damage to anyone. If a person has allergies or other sensitivities to ingredients, that's a different story. But there is no basic reason to think that SSRI meds are going to take anything away from a person over the long term and they can change so much for the better that the same person can go from a shut in to an achiever that makes a difference in other people's lives. I'd like to see all remnants of bias based on older medications be wiped away so, I speak up at every chance I get. i hope you don't take what i say as clobbering you. I didn't mean to--just crusading to end over-generalities than give people excuses to do nothing. I see hmm! When were they revolutionized though? I do know, at least where I live, older SSRI's (like paxil and prozac) are still being prescribed. Are you saying those themselves have been redeveloped? (do you have any good sources I could find more information on? sites or books?) Just two months ago someone I knew got on antidepressants and has been juggling them to no avail and to be honest, their state is just declining (for whatever reasons, I've known of several people who have little success with them and of the ones that did, it didn't last). I will concede that there are likely many other factors involved. I am curious as to this development you speak of though --- I haven't been keeping up on them. And for that apologize, at least some of my crap may very well be outdated and I'm being a bigot
ShannonMI Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) Yes, changing them... this is what I'm referring to. The natural build up of tolerance as well as the natural changing state of the brain / body... I've known several people on antidepressants... sometimes it just takes being prescribed the wrong medication for them to plummet into an even deeper abyss than they began in. It does not solve their problems. I think it is good to use them in order to temporarily cope *whilst* they seek the root to their problems. We *all* have chemical imbalances... no one is perfectly balanced at all times. Many things can influence our states. Many. As for myself, I've been a raging *borderline personality*, I've been a suicidal mess in the past (my first attempt was when I was 7), among so much else. I did not personally find solace in medication alone. Becoming dependent on it never sat well with me either though. Alas... I am not a stranger to mental illness. My mother is an untreated schizophrenic (I haven't seen nor talked to her for years now) as was my grandfather... I have other family members who are seriously violent and out there too. I would not recommend they and others attempt to continue life without the aid of medication. We do not currently live in a world where volatile mental illness is socially acceptable... and until other solutions are discovered, it is in everyone's best interest that they are treated as well as our health systems currently know how to. But barring extremes, there are far healthier ways to exist without medication that is not even understood well. Sometimes people need to experience pain and live it through to heal... I don't think I can change my view that prescribing general medication for what are usually very real and acceptable emotions / reactions to circumstances are anything more than a crutch that will crumble at some point in time. Peace within oneself, lasting... substantial peace, does not come from artificial means. The emotions and reactions may be real and acceptable to a depressed person, but when these emotions and reactions take over ones life, that is a problem. When you can't get control of them. Or if there is no real reason for these emotions or reactions this is a problem as well. When I first became depressed there was no reason for why I felt the way I did. Nothing bad had happened to me, but I felt like sh*t. It was a chemical imbalance that had to be fixed with meds. If I were to go off my meds today, I would have the same issues I had 15 years ago. I don't consider my anti-depressants as a crutch. Not at all. Peace within oneself doesn't come from medication. I agree. Most people have to work to achieve that and that has nothing to do with medication. Edited September 17, 2011 by ShannonMI
joeyanna Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 I see hmm! When were they revolutionized though? I do know, at least where I live, older SSRI's (like paxil and prozac) are still being prescribed. Are you saying those themselves have been redeveloped? (do you have any good sources I could find more information on? sites or books?) Just two months ago someone I knew got on antidepressants and has been juggling them to no avail and to be honest, their state is just declining (for whatever reasons, I've known of several people who have little success with them and of the ones that did, it didn't last). I will concede that there are likely many other factors involved. I am curious as to this development you speak of though --- I haven't been keeping up on them. And for that apologize, at least some of my crap may very well be outdated and I'm being a bigot Not every anti depressant suits everyone, its sometimes trial and error when finding which one works for you. Also it takes a while before the medication reaches a therapeutic level which could be another reason why symptoms appear to get worse before they start to improve. Not to mention the side effects, which usually subside after a couple of weeks. Anti depressants are often only part of a treatment regime, certainly in the UK anyway, many people suffering from depression are also offered talking therapies such as counselling or CBT as this will help get to the route of the depression, help them to deal with the reasons behind their depression and also how to change their thought patterns.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 The emotions and reactions may be real and acceptable to a depressed person, but when these emotions and reactions take over ones life, that is a problem. When you can't get control of them. Or if there is no real reason for these emotions or reactions this is a problem as well. When I first became depressed there was no reason for why I felt the way I did. Nothing bad had happened to me, but I felt like sh*t. It was a chemical imbalance that had to be fixed with meds. If I were to go off my meds today, I would have the same issues I had 15 years ago. I don't consider my anti-depressants as a crutch. Not at all. Peace within oneself doesn't come from medication. I agree. Most people have to work to achieve that and that has nothing to do with medication. Nothing bad has ever happened to you in your life? The brain can store negative experiences away / repress experiences and memories / stuff stress into niches and crevasses only for it to bleed out later and appear to be coming from a place it never began in or appear to be flowing from no where... Just because one cannot identify something, does not mean it doesn't exist. I can think of several theories as to why you were unable to attribute your depression to any specific cause but... yes, the fact that you were feeling terrible / lacking in feeling was due to something. Something at least caused the persistent chemical imbalance... although to be *born* with something is one thing, but generally even that is fed or starved. I do think that not understanding something can make it worse as well. Make one seem more powerless / helpless. Regardless, if it is still working for you after so long, then I'm glad you've found something that does... I just worry about what permanent changes it could cause for people (and since everyone is a little different [and hence the variety of medications / types / kinds]... I think they're best in conjunction with other efforts and changes).
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) Not every anti depressant suits everyone, its sometimes trial and error when finding which one works for you. Also it takes a while before the medication reaches a therapeutic level which could be another reason why symptoms appear to get worse before they start to improve. Not to mention the side effects, which usually subside after a couple of weeks. Why do you think it's trial and error though? Anti depressants are often only part of a treatment regime, certainly in the UK anyway, many people suffering from depression are also offered talking therapies such as counselling or CBT as this will help get to the route of the depression, help them to deal with the reasons behind their depression and also how to change their thought patterns. Ultimately... this. If it were a part of someone's treatment regime, then I would consider dating them. However (I'm from America), more than not I've seen people just changing pills and hoping that's enough. Lifestyle / behavioral changes and counselling / therapy are rarely sought out in addition to their medications (at least not for very long...) so many people want to continue destructive / negative habits and do not really want to put in effort to truly change... Edited September 17, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
joeyanna Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Why do you think it's trial and error though? [/b] Ultimately... this. If it were a part of someone's treatment regime, then I would consider dating them. However (I'm from America), more than not I've seen people just changing pills and hoping that's enough. Lifestyle / behavioral changes and counselling / therapy are rarely sought out in addition to their medications (at least not for very long...) so many people want to continue destructive / negative habits and do not really want to put in effort to truly change... In the UK it is often the case that if one type of medication doesn't work for you or you can't tolerate the side effects then another brand will be given until one is found that is better tolerated or significantly lifts the mood. However, if a patient has a major depression and has tried at least three different antidepressants, they are usually referred to a community mental health team and/or psychiatrist to determine a treatment route. The UK now has pretty good mental health services and most patients with depression (or other mental health problems) are referred to other services as I mentioned although I am aware that this isn't always available in many countries, however, I imagine that you have access to some very good private psychotherapists.
Casablanca Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Ive dated someone with bad anxiety disorder and was on anti depressants I dont know how much of it was meds and how much was her, but she was way too needy, always needing reaffirmation and being told she was beautiful and yadda yadda... This wasnt the only reason, there were others like huge lack of common sense. I know I made the right decision because she is/was unstable...i know in a year period after we broke up she ended up sleeping with 8 different guys, none of which were relationships (and I was only her second at the time), this plus I know of random hookups that didnt include intercourse. So you have to do what you feel is best for you... I think I could date someone on antidepressants,
D-Lish Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 There sure are a lot of naive and judgemental posts in this thread. There is no shame in taking AD's.
Emilia Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Our health, each and every one of us, is a gift which could change dramatically tomorrow. A person could be in the best health one day but suddenly diagnosed with cancer or be involved in a serious motor vehicle accident the next day. I hope for your sake that one day you're not faced with health issues such that nobody wants to be with you. When you are in a long term relationship, especially if you end up sharing the rest of your life with that person, it is supposed to be part of the contract that you go through thick and thin. I very much doubt most healthy people go into relationships knowingly with the terminally ill or someone who had lost their legs in a car accident. It just doesn't happen that way.
Emilia Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 There sure are a lot of naive and judgemental posts in this thread. There is no shame in taking AD's. No there is no shame but I don't see why I should be burdened with that
Feelin Frisky Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No there is no shame but I don't see why I should be burdened with that There's no "burden" just because someone takes a medication to maintain optimum mental and emotional health. Taking today's SSRI meds does not imply an illness or a weakness--just a willingness to do whatever there is to face reality straight on. SSRI meds are analogous to putting a pair of eyeglasses on the mind so that a person can define the fine edges between thoughts and emotions. Is wearing eyeglasses an automatic turn off to be burdened with? And how is it that you know you are a flawless prize to someone else? Good luck, but nothing is ever what it appears.
ShannonMI Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No there is no shame but I don't see why I should be burdened with that It's not always a burden as you say. If someone is taking meds for their depression and the meds are working then what's the problem?
Cypress25 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No there is no shame but I don't see why I should be burdened with that It's not a burden on you. Dating someone who's on medication doesn't mean you're on medication too. Antidepressants need to be taken once a day. The person takes their pill and then they're fine (if the medication works properly). Untreated depression would be a bitch to deal with, but most cases of depression are easily managed with the proper medication. Many people take medication for something. I take a birth control pill once a day, does that mean I'm a burden on my boyfriend?
LurkerXX Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Ive dated someone with bad anxiety disorder and was on anti depressants I dont know how much of it was meds and how much was her, but she was way too needy, always needing reaffirmation and being told she was beautiful and yadda yadda... This wasnt the only reason, there were others like huge lack of common sense. I know I made the right decision because she is/was unstable...i know in a year period after we broke up she ended up sleeping with 8 different guys, none of which were relationships (and I was only her second at the time), this plus I know of random hookups that didnt include intercourse. So you have to do what you feel is best for you... I think I could date someone on antidepressants, I think its mainly when the treatment does not work or is not being applied when it is needed-yes there is an issue. But otherwise, you may not likely know until they tell you!
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 (edited) There's no "burden" just because someone takes a medication to maintain optimum mental and emotional health. Taking today's SSRI meds does not imply an illness or a weakness--just a willingness to do whatever there is to face reality straight on. SSRI meds are analogous to putting a pair of eyeglasses on the mind so that a person can define the fine edges between thoughts and emotions. Is wearing eyeglasses an automatic turn off to be burdened with? And how is it that you know you are a flawless prize to someone else? Good luck, but nothing is ever what it appears. These are *drugs*, nonetheless. I'm sure people can cope/function and be more productive in "society" on all kinds of them... that doesn't mean they're healthy. Glasses are hardly a comparison. Behavior does not change drastically while wearing them (unless someone's always been near blind and they see some eye-popping creature / scenery =p ) --- cases of increased suicidal tendencies among other less desirable things/effects are not common among wearing eyeglasses... and we understand the eye / optics far better. And so far I haven't found any substantial evidence that supports your case that efficacy is no longer an issue nor damage will never be done. SSRI's still seem to be *believed* (not proven) to work a certain way (and those are debated too... suggesting... yep, they're not really fathomed). Cypress25 --- ... well, I at least knew someone that went crazy on birth control pills (and gained a lot of additional weight). Birth control can have negative effects, too... and alternatives may be worth looking into (if not just to avoid other possible health implications). Of course it doesn't mean you're a burden though, nor that you suffer from apparent/real negative effects. Nor that people who take antidepressants may be, but their long-term health etc is still important... Edited September 17, 2011 by OnyxSnowfall
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