cookiedough Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Scared away men you could potentially have dated? I just did it recently and I feel like I need to grow up. I recently freaked out a guy I really liked because of my own insecurities and issues, and now he thinks i'm crazy. See what happened is that we went on a date once and he said I wasn't his type, yet we stayed friends and communicated through facebook. We only saw each other two other times after that, since he wanted me to do him a favor. One day he deleted his facebook, and I jumped to conclusions, assuming he blocked me for some stupid reason, because one my friends had recently done that to me. I wrote him a nasty email and then later felt stupid because i found out he didnt block me at all. i tried to apologize and explain that I am impulsive and just do these things without thinking, but I also stupidly told him im crazy. How the hell was that going to help my cause? Well he never answered, and i felt bad for leaving him with such a bad impression, I decided finally after two weeks of nothing, to text him the truth. I told him I really liked him, but that I might have done these stupid things to push him away because i was hurting that he liked someone else, and then I said goodbye basically and that I would be fine and eventually forget him. He replied and said to leave him alone. I felt like ****, because I scared him away and there was nothing more to do. Ladies have any of you ever done something this stupid before? I feel like i'm the only girl in the world who always manages to screw things up because of my brashness.
Arabella Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Don't worry too much. These things happen... just take it as a lesson learned and don't contact him again. You don't want to be the crazy girl he tells his friends about. There are more fish in the sea. Smile
spiderowl Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I think you've learned from that mistake there, but I don't think you scared him away. He wasn't that interested in the first place; he'd already told you you weren't his type, which is another way of saying he wasn't interested. Even if you'd behaved like the perfect girl, it wouldn't have made any difference. When you meet the right guy, who also happens to be attracted to you too, you won't have this problem. He'll be there for you and he'll reassure you that he wants you. I'm sure you won't be quite so impulsive again, but just bear in mind that if you are having to tread so carefully around someone for fear of putting him off, he's probably not worth the effort.
MyT Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Scared away men you could potentially have dated? I just did it recently and I feel like I need to grow up. I recently freaked out a guy I really liked because of my own insecurities and issues, and now he thinks i'm crazy. See what happened is that we went on a date once and he said I wasn't his type, yet we stayed friends and communicated through facebook. We only saw each other two other times after that, since he wanted me to do him a favor. One day he deleted his facebook, and I jumped to conclusions, assuming he blocked me for some stupid reason, because one my friends had recently done that to me. I wrote him a nasty email and then later felt stupid because i found out he didnt block me at all. i tried to apologize and explain that I am impulsive and just do these things without thinking, but I also stupidly told him im crazy. How the hell was that going to help my cause? Well he never answered, and i felt bad for leaving him with such a bad impression, I decided finally after two weeks of nothing, to text him the truth. I told him I really liked him, but that I might have done these stupid things to push him away because i was hurting that he liked someone else, and then I said goodbye basically and that I would be fine and eventually forget him. He replied and said to leave him alone. I felt like ****, because I scared him away and there was nothing more to do. Ladies have any of you ever done something this stupid before? I feel like i'm the only girl in the world who always manages to screw things up because of my brashness. Some guys would find you adorable - de-licious
Author cookiedough Posted September 21, 2011 Author Posted September 21, 2011 Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I think some of you are right, he was never intersted in me in the beginning and perhaps no matter what I did, he wasn't going to like me. I also agree that I was always afraid of blowing it with him, so that probably made me blow at the end, but with the right person I don't think I would have felt that way. I think this opened my eyes a lot more.
BeyondtheClouds Posted September 21, 2011 Posted September 21, 2011 Thanks guys, I appreciate it. I think some of you are right, he was never intersted in me in the beginning and perhaps no matter what I did, he wasn't going to like me. I also agree that I was always afraid of blowing it with him, so that probably made me blow at the end, but with the right person I don't think I would have felt that way. I think this opened my eyes a lot more. **** I wrote him a nasty email **** Without that e-mail, you may have had a decent friendship and could have met other guys through him. It is wise to learn to hold her tongue and the send button in this case. I have dumped people completely out of my life on the basis of some rude impulsive remark or behavior. An apology doesn't help anything. Whether or not you think you have a chance to date a guy, you will do yourself a serious favor just learning some self control.
Author cookiedough Posted September 23, 2011 Author Posted September 23, 2011 Yeah i know but there is nothing left to do with him now, he thinks i'm a psycho. I just got to learn from my mistake this time and not do it again with someone else.
Paper Roses Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Sometimes I think men like me more because I go psycho at the drop of a hat. He just wasn't into you and since he didn't even want you as a back up plan he didn't want to cope with drama. Forget about it. I'm pretty sure when you disable your fb page your friend list stays intact and you can't delete fb pages, only disable them, so I'm thinking he did delete you.
january2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Yes, I have. But as the others said, you live and learn. Most of the time, it's not about you. Being self-aware is great but most people are too caught up in their own insecurities and issues to even notice, let alone worry about, yours.
Author cookiedough Posted September 24, 2011 Author Posted September 24, 2011 You guys all make lots of sense, so I won't dwell on it anymore. I guess I think I like dwelling on stupid stuff, but I won't anymore. I know now it's time to move on
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