Dudes, Seriously What is With the Not Calling For Days on End?

[browndog319]

Seriously - you have a cell phone - you can call or text at any time. You're friends on FB. WTF? Why do you go radio silent when all signals you've given imply you want a relationship. You've had the "i'm not seeing other people and I hope you're not" conversation. You've asked her to go to your buddies wedding. But then you do the old disappearing act for a week. What IS THAT????

 

Are you expecting us to call you to bring things back on track or do you just need some space and then you'll resume normal BF duties. Has nothing to do with us, it is just you doing your dude stuff.

 

How do we ladies deal with this? Seriously because it is really hard and we are NOT wired this way, BTW.

 

Please help, boys!

[madjac74]

Seriously - you have a cell phone - you can call or text at any time. You're friends on FB. WTF? Why do you go radio silent when all signals you've given imply you want a relationship. You've had the "i'm not seeing other people and I hope you're not" conversation. You've asked her to go to your buddies wedding. But then you do the old disappearing act for a week. What IS THAT????

 

Are you expecting us to call you to bring things back on track or do you just need some space and then you'll resume normal BF duties. Has nothing to do with us, it is just you doing your dude stuff.

 

How do we ladies deal with this? Seriously because it is really hard and we are NOT wired this way, BTW.

 

Please help, boys!

 

You are barking up the wrong tree, brown dog! Haha get it! Anyway not all guys are like the guy you describe. I can't go a day without talking to my SO even when our relationship is on the brink of ending or our future is uncertain. I've tried it. It sucks. And when all things are good between us. A few hours without talking or texting is hard.

[aisle_seat]

Sorry BD, like madjac that behavior doesn't compute with me. When my girl and I were in the early stages, we emailed/texted several times a day, every day. We're LD so talking on the phone wasn't and still isn't possible every day, but emails/texts -yes; all the time.

 

I don't know what your dude's deal is, but from my experience, "dude stuff" is rarely so time consuming that a text isn't possible.

[creighton0123]

It's perfectly acceptable to come to an understanding in an LDR that when it comes to initiating communication, one partner can be the proverbial top and the other be the bottom. My boyfriend and I have an understanding: I will call him and don't expect him to call me. At the same time, I do expect that he pick up when I call or call back if he misses it.

 

It has worked so far. We communicate twice a day over Skype -> Once in the morning for about 10 minutes and at night for an hour or two. Virtually all of the calls are initiated by me and I have no problem with that because that is our understanding.

[rocketman122]

I never did the silent treatment to any girl I dated, so not all guys are like this. I send my current GF a good morning SMS, another something to tease her in the afternoon and we talk in the evening and always a good night sms at night. But I am not the norm. she loves the attention and I am all to happy to oblige.

 

she drives me crazy and consumes my every thought..love..pff who needs it. its expensive and you feel drugged all day long, and I dont like drugs.

 

I too dont understand the silent thing guys do. must be a dr jekyll mr hyde thing from night to day. must be an ego game thing. maybe hes testing you, or maybe hes not interested..

[january2011]

In my opinion, anyone (man or woman) who goes AWOL is not serious about the relationship. If you can't spare 5 minutes in your week to send an "I miss you" or "I'm thinking of you" text, then the person you're with is not the person you want to be with.

 

Having said that, checking in frequency is something that needs to be discussed and a compromise agreed if there is any discrepancy between the two parties concerned.