appletini Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 This is mainly directed toward other 20-somethings... we're in that awkward time of life where we can get away with acting like a teenager or an old married professional and no one seems surprised by either. Especially for our generation and with the high rate of joblessness and underemployment, there are no real rules anymore: when are you supposed to move out of your family's house? what kind of career should you have, and how far along should you be? should you be single or married with kids? It seems like no one really knows, so we just take cues from our own social circles. Did any of your split with your partner because s/he wasn't growing up at the same rate as you? Maybe your relationship was imbalanced and you found yourself playing more of the parent role (a role that was accepted and even cherished by your partner). You got tired. You wanted an adult. If this was the sole or main reason behind the split, do you feel that you have more regrets and what-ifs (what if s/he just needs a year or two to grow up?), or do you feel like arrested development is a permanent condition?
wilsonx Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 (edited) People are a product of their environment - Thats my new saying but its true. You are the way you are because of those around you influenced you, either positively or negatively. I do not buy into the joblessness or underemployment bs. I lost my job in February. Guess what found another job within 2 weeks, is it my career job, absolutely not but it pays my bills, lets me enjoy life and go out and have fun while actively pursuing my career again and studying to better myself in that field. People that use the oh I cant get a job line aren't trying hard enough. One of my good friends got a low level IT certification applied for jobs in 8 states, got one in the 8th state through a temp to hire agency and now is working full time with that company. If you can't find a job in your area, go outside of your area. Have some drive in your life, dont just give up. My roommate same situation, lost his job, dwelled on it for a year, gf said enough, their relationship toasted. Guess what he found a job as a teacher within 3 months of actually looking. People just have to apply themselves and not give up Edited September 16, 2011 by wilsonx
Author appletini Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 You're right about the job search... I should clarify though that neither my ex nor I were unemployed. He was seriously underemployed however, which was part of the reason why he lived with his parents through much of his 20's (he loved his job but with his student loans and bills, he realistically could not afford to move out for years following college). Even though he did move out and get a slightly higher paying job, that teenager mentality followed him. I know, I know what you're thinking... "He still could have made an effort." My thoughts exactly, and his lack of motivation was a driving factor in our breakup. But I also didn't want to be too harsh knowing the realities of the job market, the real estate market we were are, and how hard it is to make ends meet in the city we live in. But... he needed to grow up, and he didn't, and now all I wonder is how much longer would I have had to wait for him to do it so we could be together as equals?
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