somedude81 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 No, this doesn't happen. In my experience, women aren’t picky enough. A poster before gave a list of 5 criteria a guy must fulfill. I’ve never found a man who fulfilled all of these Seriously? Her list was that hard to fill? 1) College degree 2) Can hold an intelligent conversation 3) Has no anger management problems 4) Has a job that he can support himself (living with roommates is a-ok with me) 5) Has similar interests 6) Likes meI got 1-4 covered, though #1 is actually a work in progress as I'm in school now. 5 & 6 depend on the woman but they're pretty much a given. I would only want to date somebody that I had several common interests with and of course I'd like her. So I only have 2 criteria: 1. I need to find him attractive 2. I need to find him interesting/intriguing in some way, and therefore like spending time with him. That’s it.That actually seems like a harder criteria to meet. Every woman has her own view of what is attractive to her though many women share some elements of want they are attracted to. Being interesting/intriguing. I though I had that, but maybe I'm just boring? That could be it. So if women aren't attracted to me and they think I'm boring, then nothing else matters.
thehead Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Seriously? Her list was that hard to fill? I got 1-4 covered, though #1 is actually a work in progress as I'm in school now. 5 & 6 depend on the woman but they're pretty much a given. I would only want to date somebody that I had several common interests with and of course I'd like her. That actually seems like a harder criteria to meet. Every woman has her own view of what is attractive to her though many women share some elements of want they are attracted to. Being interesting/intriguing. I though I had that, but maybe I'm just boring? That could be it. So if women aren't attracted to me and they think I'm boring, then nothing else matters. So, why is it you and verhrzn aren't dating again?
somedude81 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 So, why is it you and verhrzn aren't dating again? LOL. I don't think she'd be happy with that thought. Especially that we go back and forth so much. Either way, we live in totally different parts of the country.
rafallus Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 So, why is it you and verhrzn aren't dating again? She has a FWB, which she thinks to go serious with. Seriously, her bickering, how she can't find a man is not exactly the most justified thing in the world.
verhrzn Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 So, why is it you and verhrzn aren't dating again? Because I've tried dating guys like him before... They sit there and complain about how often they get rejected, how the "hot" women don't want them and how women have it so easy, and then turn around and don't wanna date me because I'm not good enough to soothe their wounded ego.
oaks Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Meanwhile, I'm off for a date. Or, I suspect, off to be stood up. We'll see. Ahh. Well I was right about that. She texted when she was about 10 minutes late to cancel.
somedude81 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Because I've tried dating guys like him before... They sit there and complain about how often they get rejected, how the "hot" women don't want them and how women have it so easy, and then turn around and don't wanna date me because I'm not good enough to soothe their wounded ego. LOL, you're a riot Just to make things clear, hotness is not a requirement. Sure I have to be attracted to somebody but I am attracted to the vast majority of girls in my age range. My only physical requirements are; don't be obese, be somewhat cute (95% of girls 18-35 meet this) Of course there are certain things that I like that are a nice bonus but not requirements. For example I really like big breasts, but I would never turn a woman down because she was only a B. Also because I'm only 5'6, I don't like really tall women. My current crush is 5'8 and that's pushing it. I don't know where you get this "not good enough to sooth their wounded ego" bit.
Author irc333 Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Yeah, some of us guys aren't asking for much. We have SOME standards, but not unrealistic. It's funny how I would comes across those rare ads where the woman would almost seem to be a spitting image of ideals, interests, and other beliefs, and I'd eagerly email her.....basically, I"m everything she's looking for in a guy. Then she doesn't respond. In that case, I probably didn't meet her physical criteria. Perhaps she saw my height statistic and deleted the email and that's all it took. Perhaps she saw the pics, didn't find me attractive physically and moved on. LOL, you're a riot Just to make things clear, hotness is not a requirement. Sure I have to be attracted to somebody but I am attracted to the vast majority of girls in my age range. My only physical requirements are; don't be obese, be somewhat cute (95% of girls 18-35 meet this) Of course there are certain things that I like that are a nice bonus but not requirements. For example I really like big breasts, but I would never turn a woman down because she was only a B. Also because I'm only 5'6, I don't like really tall women. My current crush is 5'8 and that's pushing it. I don't know where you get this "not good enough to sooth their wounded ego" bit.
soserious1 Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 Too much early sex topics. Most I see don't want sex, those who really want it can't live without it. They must have it even on the first date. Some wait 6 weeks for sex while others want to have it after the wedding. As for sleeping on the first date most want that some don't even want to cuddle or even want you to touch them. These type of women I like to know what the heck happen to them while they were growing up? Now in they're mid 30s and don't want a guy to touch them in bed. I'm not interested in hearing a man's tale of woe or in telling him mine, I'm not interested in his pre-existing children & have zero intention of ever even mentioning mine to him. I don't want a man to pay for things for me,don't want him to paint my house,fix my car or mow my lawn. What do I want from a man? casual companionship ie: drinks, maybe a movie or a light dinner,(on my dime) a few laughs,followed by no strings sex, he goes his way, I go mine.
skippercollector Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 To those of you who say you've never met a single, never-married, woman over the age of 50, well, I am one. And so are two close friends. I also know of several 40-something women who have never married. The reasons for our "single-ness" are varied, and you haven't mentioned some of them. 1. We live in a town with a skewed ratio of women to men. There are far more women here than men. 2. We live in a conservative part of the country, and sometimes the men here are put off by women whose political/cultural/economic/religious views differ from them. 3. I look far more attractive now than I did in my teens, 20s and 30s. No, I have not had plastic surgery, but I've had some internal surgeries done to fix some health problems, and once those problems were taken care of, my outer appearance improved! But now the only men my age who are single are the ones who are the 1s and 2s. I'm not referring to facial features. Rather, I mean men who are homeless; alcoholic; severely obese; or have a severe mental, physical or emotional disability. If that's all that's left, why should I want it?
AlexDP Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Definitely. That perfectly explains why she's a 22 year old virgin who's never had a boyfriend and never dated anybody at all. Why didn't I think of that? She doesn't like you enough to date you. You can rationalise it all you want, deep down, you know it's true. Accept it and move on.
somedude81 Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 Close. She doesn't like anybody enough to date them. She also has certain things she's not comfortable with about herself, men and dating in general. What I know is that her issues are complex. Though there will be a point when I'll give up and move on if I can't get her to fully open up.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Some women are willing to go to their graves single. Those are broken women, that you don't need.
Art_Critic Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Some women are willing to go to their graves single. Those are broken women, that you don't need. Did you read skippercollector's post above ? She speaks more about the small town atmosphere and the men being broken as a reason. Who would want to marry an obese drunk who lives with his mother ?
AHardDaysNight Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Did you read skippercollector's post above ? She speaks more about the small town atmosphere and the men being broken as a reason. Who would want to marry an obese drunk who lives with his mother ? Fair point, but here are the issues with this: - If he's obese, can he lose weight? Does she like him otherwise? And we're not talking about overweight, right...obese? - If he has mental issues, can he get on medication? - If he lives with his mother, has he never moved out? Is he taking care of his mother? Is there a reason for him still living at home? Obviously, I wasn't talking about these guys, because by 40, I hope to have my own place (I'm 28), have a good job, not be hooked on drugs or alcohol (so far, so good!), and get back into shape. But I've even seen physically attractive guys get turned down, because they don't meet the high standards of women. Obviously, we're not all talking about obese, drunk/drug abusers, smelly, lives with his mother, childish, no job/no school, etc. And keep in mind that I'm coming from a different demographic as well. I look for girls from 19-25 years old, who are in similar situations to me job wise and college wise. I am not talking about the 40 or 50 year old women who reject men...but obviously they never got married because they were too picky when they were younger!
Author irc333 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 But I've even seen physically attractive guys get turned down Exactly, being physically attractive is just the TIP of the iceberg. I have known women not to date men that had a certain unusual first name, or some wierd characteristic they're looking for I even saw a woman write a full paragraph on how she likes linebacker type builds, and since she had a big butt, that he should have a big gut (but the muscular type of wrestler big gutt....not sure what THAT means, lol), apparently she has body shaped witha booty that stuck out as such where his belly would fit nestled like a puzzle piece fitting into a missing section, would rest nicely on the top of her ass when they spooned....NO JOKE, this is what she said. LOL I think Dr. Phil had an episode of chronically overly picky women, they set the up on dates with guys, and these women were drilling men like a job interview, one even drilled him about his salary/what he does for work. There was nothing warm, just....cold and rather calculating women, who just "Evaluate" men, not really enjoy their company. They treat them as if they were car shopping, nothing loving about them in their presentation.
D-Lish Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Exactly, being physically attractive is just the TIP of the iceberg. I have known women not to date men that had a certain unusual first name, or some wierd characteristic they're looking for I even saw a woman write a full paragraph on how she likes linebacker type builds, and since she had a big butt, that he should have a big gut (but the muscular type of wrestler big gutt....not sure what THAT means, lol), apparently she has body shaped witha booty that stuck out as such where his belly would fit nestled like a puzzle piece fitting into a missing section, would rest nicely on the top of her ass when they spooned....NO JOKE, this is what she said. LOL I think Dr. Phil had an episode of chronically overly picky women, they set the up on dates with guys, and these women were drilling men like a job interview, one even drilled him about his salary/what he does for work. There was nothing warm, just....cold and rather calculating women, who just "Evaluate" men, not really enjoy their company. They treat them as if they were car shopping, nothing loving about them in their presentation. I guess I'd consider myself picky, but I'd never drill a man on a date- I like my dates low pressure, lots of laughing and a good conversation. I think it comes from being a little broken- when you've been burned, it makes you reluctant to open up and be vulnerable ever again.
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I might go to my grave single. But it is not because my standards are superficial. But I want to be happy in a relationship and I see few men who offer what I am looking for. My standards are: - not very different from me in age (I think 8 years older or younger is the absolute maximum for me) - honest and reliable - kind and generous - stable financial situation - takes good care of himself. I don't care about being bald, grey, wrinkles. But being overweight and/or with a big belly is a big no-no. A man who does not take good care of himself, will not take good care of me! - does not have to be tall but should not be smaller than me (I am 5,58 but I am slim and wear heels, which makes me look tall). - emancipated = accepts and supports my career and does his share of the household tasks Why should I settle for anything less than what I offer myself?
Author irc333 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 I guess I'd consider myself picky, but I'd never drill a man on a date- I like my dates low pressure, lots of laughing and a good conversation. I think it comes from being a little broken- when you've been burned, it makes you reluctant to open up and be vulnerable ever again. Yeah, I sometimes have to give specific examples in order to demonstrate the absurdity of some people's expectations. Even their own FAMILIES and FRIENDS think they're a little off their rocker. lol
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 I am not talking about the 40 or 50 year old women who reject men...but obviously they never got married because they were too picky when they were younger! Women are not not married because they have been too picky! There are some men who I have truly loved in my life and they have rejected me... These men were not especially rich or handsome, I just was in love with them. In hindsight I realise that my love was wasted on them as they never really appreciated and loved me...
PinkInTheLimo Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 but if you're in a retirement community, where people age tot he point where they're all starting to look alike, well, one can't afford to be too picky. AFFORD to be too picky. Afford... in what sense? Only those who can't live alone can't afford that but those who can enjoy life on their own and who have the financial means to do it, can very well afford it. As a financially independent woman, I see no reason at all to get in a relationship with someone I am not in love with and/or someone who is not in love with me. That would not give me any benefit at all. Maybe I will never find that special person and of course that would make me sad because I think I have a lot to offer. But at the same time, it won't be the end of the world as I know how to make my life interesting without that person.
Author irc333 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 I think SomeDude mentioned earlier about a list he easily fulfills. Just moments ago, this woman on the dating site had said she had some bad experiences with men she had met online, and is back ...she said what she's not looking for The typical whiney stuff I'm used to seeing, and I just shakemy head Must have a car, must have a Driver's Liscense Not be a liar or BS artist Must have a job of SOME sort, doesn't have to be lucrative Must not have a criminal record What's funny is, I EASILY am not ANY of these guys, but for some reason, she wont' date guys like me.....then whine about it in their dating profile. LOL
johan Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 Typically, by that age, these women have had a long list of criteria in a man that no man has ever met. I mean, at WHAT age will a woman will come to terms that they might EVER meet the man that meets that list? Man, I thought women had an age limit, where they realize, "Hey, I'm <years old> , better start changing my superficial criteria!" Anyone know single women, over 50, that are like this? The cost/benefit of solitude and love is not such a simple calculation. I've heard of women dropping the list of criteria in order to have a baby. But when having a baby isn't a concern, the "superficial" criteria tend to increase with age, not decrease. I think people don't often give up their superficial criteria as they get older
oaks Posted September 19, 2011 Posted September 19, 2011 What's funny is, I EASILY am not ANY of these guys, but for some reason, she wont' date guys like me.....then whine about it in their dating profile. LOL Maybe she just likes to whine about it. Perhaps it makes her feel better. I wonder if she'll actually do anything about it.
Author irc333 Posted September 19, 2011 Author Posted September 19, 2011 Maybe she just likes to whine about it. Perhaps it makes her feel better. I wonder if she'll actually do anything about it. I seriously doubt it, some of these women have been on the site indefinitely. You'd think they'd catch on. There was this one profile that read, "You must be 5'10" and consider yourself a certain # on a scale of 1 to 10 in order to contact her" she actually had a rating system shown in the profile.
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