irc333 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I'm not sure, but I think this might be true more so for women than men , so I apologize if I seem to be discriminating. lol I had known a couple people mention how they have mid-50's singles friends that 1. Rather attractive for their age 2. Never married 3. No children. 4. Over 50 Typically, by that age, these women have had a long list of criteria in a man that no man has ever met. I mean, at WHAT age will a woman will come to terms that they might EVER meet the man that meets that list? Man, I thought women had an age limit, where they realize, "Hey, I'm <years old> , better start changing my superficial criteria!" Anyone know single women, over 50, that are like this?
Elysian Powder Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 (edited) I'm not sure, but I think this might be true more so for women than men , so I apologize if I seem to be discriminating. lol I had known a couple people mention how they have mid-50's singles friends that 1. Rather attractive for their age 2. Never married 3. No children. 4. Over 50 Typically, by that age, these women have had a long list of criteria in a man that no man has ever met. I mean, at WHAT age will a woman will come to terms that they might EVER meet the man that meets that list? Man, I thought women had an age limit, where they realize, "Hey, I'm <years old> , better start changing my superficial criteria!" Anyone know single women, over 50, that are like this? Sure. I see a lot of them around since I spend a lot of time in nightclubs. One club in particular is called '' the cougar club''. Many older women chasing and bedding younger men. I don't see why not. Women love to be fckd by a vigorous sex machine, and the young men can make the money spend on them good enough to overlook younger women for some time. Why would anyone marry or be in a relationship? Because they are older? Or because the older men don't have the body or the money to compete with the younger blokes for women their own age - and younger women are completely out of reach? Settling down is senseless. Why would anyone want white bread for the remaining of one's years when there's an endless scopes of flavors and possibilities. I know a woman aged 50, rather attractive for her age. More good-looking than many 18 years old. Last relationship happened 10 years ago. She's been multi-dating, but the 6'2'' fella doesn't have enough hair, or the hairy guy is an inch shorter than 6''. Just the other day she dumped a well-connected dentist because he didn't know how to kiss, lol. At least young men are gathering sexual experience and they're been offered trips and stuff. Good deal. Edited September 15, 2011 by Elysian Powder
somedude81 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Because some women are very stubborn and or retarded.
verhrzn Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Who says it's the woman's criteria that's unrealistic? Maybe she never met a man who wanted her. I'm 26 years old, so getting up into the beginning of the end of my childbearing years, and here's my criteria: 1) College degree 2) Can hold an intelligent conversation 3) Has no anger management problems 4) Has a job that he can support himself (living with roommates is a-ok with me) 5) Has similar interests 6) Likes me I meet tons of guys who fulfill points 1-5, but are uninterested in dating me. Now, is my criteria unreasonable? I don't think so. And yet I can't find a guy. Why blame it all on the woman?
Woggle Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 At 26 you are far from the end of your childbearing years. These women with impossible criteria are no big loss to the dating pool so why worry. Who cares what they do?
verhrzn Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 theres conscious and subconscious criteria. its the subconscious criteria that block me out when i dont put on the jerk act. cant tell you how many ladies told me they had a good time. complimented me. told me i was nice. told me i was this great guy. and seconds later the not compatible thing. guys are screened out for a multitude of reasons. Because it takes more than being nice and having a good time to be compatible. I've had several guys now who say they're physically attracted to me (want to be FWBs), have me meet all their close friends (sometimes family), love spending time with me outside the bedroom, contact me all the time and tell me how much they like me... and yet don't want a serious relationship with me. Attraction and comparability are weird, and women aren't the only one with subconscious criteria. That's my whole point... that 50+ ladies without a guy could just as easily not measure up to a man's list.
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I'm not sure, but I think this might be true more so for women than men , so I apologize if I seem to be discriminating. lol I had known a couple people mention how they have mid-50's singles friends that 1. Rather attractive for their age 2. Never married 3. No children. 4. Over 50 Typically, by that age, these women have had a long list of criteria in a man that no man has ever met. I mean, at WHAT age will a woman will come to terms that they might EVER meet the man that meets that list? Man, I thought women had an age limit, where they realize, "Hey, I'm <years old> , better start changing my superficial criteria!" Anyone know single women, over 50, that are like this? Why are you worried about this? In my whole life, I've only personally met two women who are even over 40 and never married. On the other hand, I can count on more than two hands the number of men I know who are in their 40's-50's and never married. And who aren't gay. Not sure what superficial criteria you are talking about either. The last three guys I FZ'd were for the following reasons: a) First one called my aging dog a 'f*cking dog' because she wouldn't stop pacing one night. I told him that something was wrong with her and I was worried, and he still wouldn't let it go. Turned out she had a brain tumor. b) Second one confessed to cheating on his wife ALOT. c) Third wanted me to be in an 'open' relationship and agree to letting him f*ck other women... this was after I told him I was looking for a committed relationship. These men exhibited major character flaws IMHO. One was my height. One was bald.
Author irc333 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 I'm 26 years old, so getting up into the beginning of the end of my childbearing years, HARDLY, 26 is not the end of your child bearing years, in fact, you have quite a few years to go. And, of course, you're 26, we're talking 50+ here. This woman is not looking to bed younger men, she's looking for a man around here age she's wanting to marry.
Janesays Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I'd happily go to my grave single. Being in a relationship and/or married isn't the be all end all of my life. There is plenty of joy in my life whether I'm single or attached. Not every woman in the world bases their entire sense of self worth on whether or not she's married.
Author irc333 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 I'd happily go to my grave single. Being in a relationship and/or married isn't the be all end all of my life. There is plenty of joy in my life whether I'm single or attached. Not every woman in the world bases their entire sense of self worth on whether or not she's married. Good point, but this woman is actively seeking.
Janesays Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Good point, but this woman is actively seeking. Well, maybe she feels like if she finds someone who can make her happier than she already is, great. If not, also great.
AHardDaysNight Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Some guys are also really too picky. I know I'd rather be single than settle for someone that I'm not attracted to. That being said, I had a chance with a girl who was "in love" with me...problem was, I found her physically unattractive.
Author irc333 Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 I found her physically unattractive. In what since did you find her physically unattractive, what was it about her physically that you found unattractive?
ThsAmericanLife Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Because it takes more than being nice and having a good time to be compatible. I've had several guys now who say they're physically attracted to me (want to be FWBs), have me meet all their close friends (sometimes family), love spending time with me outside the bedroom, contact me all the time and tell me how much they like me... and yet don't want a serious relationship with me.. If these guys are doing all of these things and not wanting to be in a serious relationship with you it is because they probably don't want to commit to anyone. The age that people get or start looking for marriage is pushing later and later. You've observed that women start pushing for this earlier... and men want to postpone it as long as possible. Best way to avoid this scenario is put your relationship goals on the table ASAP. There is a great book that talks about this called "If I"m so wonderful how come I"m still single". It discusses all of the things people do to shortcircuit their goals. One of them (for women) is wasting time with commitmentphobes. If they are legitimate friends, by all means, keep them around. But if they aren't looking for a serious relationship, don't waste your time having sex with them and HOPING it will turn into one. Doesn't work that way.
FrustratedStandards Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 That's EXACTLY what I keep reiterating to people. If you wait for the "right one" or for someone who actually meets your standards, you will end up alone. That's why I always say that if you don't settle, then you end up by yourself. Case and point. Thank you for this. Finally someone who gets it.
somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 For some reason many women believe that settling is the worst thing in the world to do. I know several women in their 20's who think like this, but I don't know if those thoughts will change once they get older.
verhrzn Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 For some reason many women believe that settling is the worst thing in the world to do. I know several women in their 20's who think like this, but I don't know if those thoughts will change once they get older. Well, do YOU really want to settle? Settle, for example, on a girl you're only kinda, sort of attracted to? Or is only willing to have sex every 6 months? Just as importantly, do you want someone to consider being with you as "settling"? There's a very distinct line between "realistic expectations" and "settling."
somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 (edited) No, settling as in, my friends roomate has posters of the Tokyo Hotel guys all over her dorm room. She's single and never had a boyfriend. Why? Because none of the guys in real life are that pretty. I had female friend that I've known for a smester. On Valentines Day she posted a status update to her Facebook on how she was she was sad about being single. A couple of days later I sent her a message suggesting that we get lunch. She ended up giving me the run around. She didn't want to "settle" for me. Edited September 16, 2011 by somedude81
verhrzn Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 No, settling as in, my friends roomate has posters of the Tokyo Hotel guys all her dorm room. She's single and never had a boyfriend. Why? Because none of the guys in real life are that pretty. I had female friend that I didn't know for too long. On Valentines Day she posted a status update to her Facebook on how she was she was sad about being single. A couple of days later I sent her a message suggesting that we get lunch. She ended up giving me the run around. She didn't want to "settle" for me. How does having a poster of hot guys equal her automatically rejecting guys who aren't that hot? I hear over and over that men watching porn of extremely attractive women doesn't make them appreciate real women any less.. So is it true, or propaganda? So, you would have preferred she date you, even though she clearly has no interest in you?? That's somehow better?
AHardDaysNight Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 In what since did you find her physically unattractive, what was it about her physically that you found unattractive? She was overweight, didn't take baths, and was ugly in the face.
somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 How does having a poster of hot guys equal her automatically rejecting guys who aren't that hot? Because she's talked to her roommate who I am friends with. She actually told me, "Kerri doesn't have a boyfriend because nobody is good enough for her. You saw the posters in the room. That's her baseline." I hear over and over that men watching porn of extremely attractive women doesn't make them appreciate real women any less.. So is it true, or propaganda? I'll agree that it doesn't affect how they see real women. Most men can separate reality from fantasy. So, you would have preferred she date you, even though she clearly has no interest in you?? That's somehow better? Of course it's better. I really wish women would actually give me a chance and get to know me before deciding no thanks, just because I'm not a 6-foot tall male model.
verhrzn Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I really wish women would actually give me a chance and get to know me before deciding no thanks, just because I'm not a 6-foot tall male model. Oh for the LOVE OF.... You are the ONLY one who thinks that this is the base standard that women judge men by. (Your friend is a very bizarre exception.) Over and over and over, women on these boards have argued it's not the case... A few days ago, there was a thread about men online, in which he posted an article on OKCupid that showed women are NOT concerned about looks, that the more physically attractive a man is, the LESS women are interested in him. SERIOUSLY. I have a friend, 5'4" at best, maybe 140 pounds, who makes a killing with ladies (and gay men.) And he is by no means a male model. STOP blaming it on your looks, it's getting ridiculous for you to keep asserting against all evidence that women only like tall, Hollywood-handsome guys. IT... IS... NOT... TRUE!
somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 BTW, I said a roomate of one of my friends. And a friend of mine. That's two different girls. I also know a third girl who's not into most normal guys either. Though she actually more into sharks than guys, yeah she's a bit weird and no she's not gay. That OK cupid was for online dating only. So a woman may be less likely to send out a first contact message to a good looking guy. Guess who she's more likely to respond to? Don't forget that men contact many more women online, than vice versa. You're friend is rare and lucky.
verhrzn Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 BTW, I said a roomate of one of my friends. And a friend of mine. That's two different girls. I also know a third girl who's not into most normal guys either. Though she actually more into sharks than guys, yeah she's a bit weird and no she's not gay. That OK cupid was for online dating only. So a woman may be less likely to send out a first contact message to a good looking guy. Guess who she's more likely to respond to? Don't forget that men contact many more women online, than vice versa. You're friend is rare and lucky. Except that the study also demonstrates that men are only contacting the 1/3 most attractive women on the site. Meaning, the most attractive men aren't going for most women... hell, the LEAST attractive men aren't going for most women. The study demonstrates that if anything, men are the ones with the unrealistic expectations as to their own attractiveness alongside the attractiveness of the person trying to contact. And my friend isn't that lucky or strange. I casually dated a guy who was 5'6" and carrying quite some extra poundage, but had had about 15 sex partners, and made out (not kissed, made out with) over 50 women. Why are you so obsessed with making your looks the issue when every bit of evidence contradicts it? If women care SO much about looks, then how did this guy end up with this chick? ( ) Or why are these SOOOO many articles online about guys asking why all the beautiful women are with ugly guys?
somedude81 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Why are you so obsessed with making your looks the issue when every bit of evidence contradicts it? Do you really need to ask that? I'm sure you're well aware of my history by now. BTW, online dating isn't really a good representation of the real world. As for the video are those two even together? Seems to be a friendzone thing. If they are together, than the dude is super lucky. Nothing else can explain it. Heck maybe that's normal and I'm just super unlucky?
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