Buzzkillington Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Damn I'm terrible at this! I'm 22 and I work as a chef, and there's a girl who I find very attractive who comes into the restaurant every couple of weeks and also goes to a pub which I go to a lot. She knows lots of people who I do and they told me she likes me, without me asking them or anything... so I know that I should just be a man and ask her out for a drink or something. But I just can't, and I have no idea why. I'm a fairly outgoing person, pretty average looking - I'm not great with women but I've gone out with a few and don't normally have a problem with just making it obvious if I like someone like that, but in her case it's different... there have been a couple of times when I've been with friends and she's there and we've all had a good time, laughing and enjoying ourselves, but whenever I want to talk to her one-to-one I can't - I'll look over, she looks at me and then we both just look away and nothing happens at all. About the most I've ever done is just say 'Hi', 'Sorry' and smile at her. I know this isn't exactly the most dramatic post ever and is pretty lame/sounds immature etc but its starting to bother me... why can't I just have a proper conversation with her? How can I make it happen without it seeming forced? Thanks for any advice!
Confusedalways Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I am your age and find a lot of my male friends have a lot of trouble with this too. Obviously you should really ask her out in person and such, but if you TRULY cannot fathom it, ask her for her number over fb (or even ask her out, after messaging). I know people will scoff at this- and I used to too, but almost ALL of my male friends have had serious success with this. Or if you're out at the pub, get some drinks in you before going over to talk to her. Nerves are okay, but just remember she is probably nervous too.
Author Buzzkillington Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Hiya man, it's good to hear from someone my age about this tbh. It's a strange state of affairs because I just can't deal with this head on - worryingly this makes me think that it's because I like her more than just 'a lot' and that this is a major thing. I'll definitely add on her on FB (Somehow I've been too much of a pussy to do this... this girl's messed me up!) and have a chat with her. It sounds pathetic but I think I needed the kick up the arse to do all of this. Lame post but hopefully a good result!
Imageiko Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I think the reason you're having trouble with this is in the back of your head you feel extra pressure because your friends are putting you up to it. I don't know exactly the best way to get over that is but I'd suggest reminding yourself that you want this for yourself and don't worry about any possible consequences with her friends or your friends and just go for it.
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