Girl gaining weight

[EnigmaticClarity]

1600-1800 calories. I was 18 at the time. I was a B-Cup (actually an A cup with all the weight loss at the time), pear shaped, so strong glutes, harmstring, quads. But it doesn't change the point. You made it seem like anyone who worked hard enough could reach some random point on a scale, without physiological hasards. Now you're changing your discourse and qualifying it (if this, if that, etc.) What if I told you, when you were at your lowest weight, that if you just worked harder, you could be healthy at 15 pounds less? That if you didn't accept my statement, you were merely just looking for an excuse to not work harder. You would reach a point where you would say: not, that would physically affect my health.

 

1600-1800 calories with exercise was making you sick? Really? I find that difficult to believe. That's about what I do as a male with a larger body of average overall dimensions.

 

I'd actually like to back off of my qualifying a "medium build"...even if you have big boobs or let's say big calves, on average, you're probably going to have some other major muscle or flesh area that is below-average. We tend to gloss over that when we're qualifying our build.

 

If you told me I could lose 15 more pounds when I was at my ideal weight, I'd say anything is possible, but I don't care, it's not worth it. I'd say the same to a woman who was 140 and 5' 7" as well. My long-time ex was 5' 8" and 135-140 and that was absolutely perfect for me. My current is 6' 1" and 150-155...she keeps trying to get to 145 and I keep telling her she doesn't have to, it's pointless and obsessive. With her, I believe that it really is mentally unhealthy to try to get that low. Do I believe she could do it by sticking to 1500 calories and exercising 3-4 times a week? Yea, but why do it?

 

 

This pushes you to the extreme of advocating that any medium built woman whose 5'7 can reach 125 pounds if she just "gets off her ass" and works hard enough.

 

I said that within the context of obesity that's the topic of this thread, not getting down to the lower limits of normal weight. We've gone off on a tangent here. I've said several times trying to do that can easily become obsessive; I don't really understand why people do it. Why were you trying to get as low as you were? I began commenting on it being possible when someone earlier said that it's impossible and unhealthy for 70% of women. I don't believe that to be the case, I just believe it to be more trouble than it's worth.

[AlexDP]

1600-1800 calories with exercise was making you sick? Really? I find that difficult to believe. That's about what I do as a male with a larger body of average overall dimensions.

 

Then you're probably not eating enough. I'm a very active person (I train 5 days a week and have a game on Saturday) and I've asked a nutritionist what most people my height (5'10") and weight (150 lbs) with my lifestyle need just to keep that weight. It's about 2700 calories. I thought that was a lot so I did my own research on the net and I must say I think that number is quite correct. Now I'm looking to gain a bit of weight, because sometimes weight is actually a good thing in soccer, so I should be eating about 3000 calories.

 

1600 to 1800 calories for a man with a larger body is pretty much nothing.

[EnigmaticClarity]

Then you're probably not eating enough. I'm a very active person (I train 5 days a week and have a game on Saturday) and I've asked a nutritionist what most people my height (5'10") and weight (150 lbs) with my lifestyle need just to keep that weight. It's about 2700 calories. I thought that was a lot so I did my own research on the net and I must say I think that number is quite correct. Now I'm looking to gain a bit of weight, because sometimes weight is actually a good thing in soccer, so I should be eating about 3000 calories.

 

1600 to 1800 calories for a man with a larger body is pretty much nothing.

 

Whoa, that's WELL above average in terms of your exercise, even when you only consider people who regularly exercise--the "average" amount of exercise people get is little to none. What does your training 5 days a week consist of, and what game do you play?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Agreed--they're whining little pussies. FAR more men discount women due to weight than women discount men due to height. Women do the same to men but far less often if they have other desirable qualities. It's throughout our culture. Look at Will Ferrell--directors keep putting his flabby, naked body up there on the screen because they know it's more accepted for men to be that way than women. Would people really find a flabby Ellen DeGeneres or Oprah up on screen as funny? Not likely, and directors aren't willing to try it. It'll eventually happen I bet, but not for a few more decades.

 

I agree that a man will more likely discount a women due to weight then a woman will discount a man for height baring in mind she likes his other qualities. I have many men in my own family that examplify this because their height hasn't stopped them from finding love.

 

And yes, Hollywood will often portray over weight aging male actors with younger, thinner counterparts. There was some silly movie with Will Farrell going back to college or something where you saw him and other middle aged men running around with college girls. Next time notice the male and female leads in movies and see how often they pair aging men with younger attractive women.

 

I was thin until I hit puberty and I pudged up. But I always played sports through school and was active. I never had any major health issues. But after I grew up I worked hard to get off the weight and noticed that I got more looks. After my father died, I put on some weight. Just the stress of all his health issues leading up to his passing left me caring less about my body and more about my family. I'm petite and it's easy for a little weight to look bad on me. It takes me a long time to get it off. But I eat right (most of the time). I let myself indulge in a high calorie meal once or twice a week depending on the circumstance. I eat oat meal just about everyday and often eat salmon and tuna for lunch or salad. And I still am trying to get off the weight. Most men don't care that I work out at the gym from 3-6 times a week or that I eat right most of the time. They don't look at me cause I work out and maintain a healthy life style. They look at me more when I get thinner. So it's not about being healthy. It's about how men want a woman's body to look. And today's standards are slightly screwed because of media projections. Women naturally have more fat because of being the ones that carry babies, yet we are held to stricter standards of weight too. And since men have more muslce mass it's easier for them to burn calories.

 

I think everyone should maintain a healthy life style. But lets not be hypocrites in this. Healhty life styles include the physical, the emotional and the spiritual. And while some people might practice phsyically healthy life styles they might not practice emotional healthy life styles. Also, not everyone that is over weight is unhealthy and not everyone that is thin is healthy. I think too many men have been consumed by a porn filled culture where they all think they deserve Maxim model girlfriends and as soon as a girl doesn't fit that image anymore, he's ready to kick her out the door.

[Kamille]

1600-1800 calories with exercise was making you sick? Really? I find that difficult to believe. That's about what I do as a male with a larger body of average overall dimensions.

 

I said that within the context of obesity that's the topic of this thread, not getting down to the lower limits of normal weight. We've gone off on a tangent here. I've said several times trying to do that can easily become obsessive; I don't really understand why people do it. Why were you trying to get as low as you were? I began commenting on it being possible when someone earlier said that it's impossible and unhealthy for 70% of women. I don't believe that to be the case, I just believe it to be more trouble than it's worth.

 

I agree we all went off on a tangent. Basically, people who aren't overweight shouldn't be striving to reach just any point on a scale. They should be striving to be healthy.

 

I kept calorie journals, so I know I was consuming 1600-1800 calories a day. I ended up consulting a doctor who confirmed I had amenorrhea (well that one was obvious) and low blood pressure. As to why I was trying to get to that weight, I was a young adult and believed that I could safely inhabit the lower range of a healthy BMI scale. Turns out, the lower range of a healthy BMI scale is for slim built women, not medium built ones. I also thought I was going about it smartly, since, technically, I wasn't "starving" myself and I was eating really healthy. But my body fat dipped too low and I did get physiological effects.

[Imageiko]

Relevant to this post, however; I think most decent guys, from what I have seen, simply want their girlfriends or partners to be HEALTHY; sitting around, never getting out of the house or being active AT ALL, all the while eating unhealthily, and without restraint... THAT is unnappealing, as it shows a lack of respect for yourself, and lack of pride in your appearance.

 

This is very true for me and I'm pretty sure the majority of guys are in the same boat. It's not extra few pounds that's unattractive it's the lazy, unhealthy and self loathing aspect that puts me off.

[LittleTiger]

This thread has gone a little off track but just to clear something up:

 

The no.1 reason our metabolism slows down as we get older is because we start to lose muscle mass. In addition most people become less active. As our bodies age, we have less energy and we are less likely to put in the effort.

 

The best way to keep your body lean and strong, whatever your age, is to build muscle - that means weight bearing exercise. Strength training and endurance training with weights.

 

For some reason everyone seems to think the best way to keep your weight down is to burn calories with cardio workouts and, although that will help, it's not the magic formula. Weight training is what keeps your metabolism high and most people over 40 (or even most people full stop) can't be bothered to train with weights.

 

I'm 46 and, although I was slim and fit in my 20s, I'm fitter, stronger and leaner now than I was in my 30s. It does take a lot of work, but to say age makes us fat is just an excuse for letting yourself go.

 

Since the OPs gf is only 28 it's not relevant to her anyway.

 

To the OP, I would say you need to be honest with your girlfriend. She needs to know how you feel before it gets to a stage when you're physically turned off by her and you start to look elsewhere. If she knows you're losing attraction for her, at least she'll then have the chance to do something about it before it's too late.

 

On the other hand, if a small weight gain is turning you off, I suspect she isn't the girl for you in the long run.

[EnigmaticClarity]

I kept calorie journals, so I know I was consuming 1600-1800 calories a day. I ended up consulting a doctor who confirmed I had amenorrhea (well that one was obvious) and low blood pressure. As to why I was trying to get to that weight, I was a young adult and believed that I could safely inhabit the lower range of a healthy BMI scale. Turns out, the lower range of a healthy BMI scale is for slim built women, not medium built ones. I also thought I was going about it smartly, since, technically, I wasn't "starving" myself and I was eating really healthy. But my body fat dipped too low and I did get physiological effects.

 

This is pretty hard to put into context without seeing people's bodies. Can you gals who believe the average woman who is 5' 7" and can't get down to 125 in a healthy or reasonable way think of anyone in the public eye we can Google pictures of and weights for who is of a "medium" build and we have little reason to believe to be unhealthy? Jennifer Connelly? Emma Thompson? Hayley Atwell? Meryl Streep? Emily Blunt? Sofia Vergara? Katy Perry? I'd prefer to pick someone more like a politician because they'd be more likely to have closer-to-average diet and exercise practices, but finding the weight of a politician is uncommon or impossible. Sofia Vergara is one of the best examples I can think of a woman who is in the public eye with above-average features--big hips, big butt, huge boobs, 5' 7" average arms, average legs--on an average skeletal frame that still only weighs around 125-130.

 

I'm not suggesting at all the average woman SHOULD get down to the size of a medium-build actress or model or anyone else in the public eye--I'd certainly never expect it, women who make their image an integral part of their careers have a motivation that is completely different from the average person--but to say that the average woman CAN'T do it is something I resist. The average man or woman has no real reason to shoot for extreme thinness without it being some sort of obsession and that's the reason I figure we rarely see it.

[LittleTiger]

I'm not suggesting at all the average woman SHOULD get down to the size of a medium-build actress or model or anyone else in the public eye--I'd certainly never expect it, women who make their image an integral part of their careers have a motivation that is completely different from the average person--but to say that the average woman CAN'T do it is something I resist. The average man or woman has no real reason to shoot for extreme thinness without it being some sort of obsession and that's the reason I figure we rarely see it.

 

This is just it. There is no motivation for the average person to be 'thin'. None at all, because 'thin' isn't even healthy for the average person. Most of the 'thin' women on our cinema and tv screens are unhealthily underweight, or more accurately, their body fat percentage is too low.

 

Anyone can be thin with the right motivation but for the average woman, why would they bother? Being thin for most women means virtual starvation (starvation is any diet of less than 1500 calories) and excessive exercise routines. The average woman doesn't have the time to exercise to that extent and would be foolish to live on such a low calorie count for any length of time.

 

That's why we rarely see 'thin' women in the real world because most women are getting on with their lives and have better things to worry about than being unhealthily 'thin'.

 

Most of the ones you do see, on those rare occasions, are either obsessive about their weight or are just naturally built that way.

[EnigmaticClarity]

This is just it. There is no motivation for the average person to be 'thin'. None at all, because 'thin' isn't even healthy for the average person. Most of the 'thin' women on our cinema and tv screens are unhealthily underweight, or more accurately, their body fat percentage is too low.

 

Anyone can be thin with the right motivation but for the average woman, why would they bother? Being thin for most women means virtual starvation (starvation is any diet of less than 1500 calories) and excessive exercise routines. The average woman doesn't have the time to exercise to that extent and would be foolish to live on such a low calorie count for any length of time.

 

That's why we rarely see 'thin' women in the real world because most women are getting on with their lives and have better things to worry about than being unhealthily 'thin'.

 

Most of the ones you do see, on those rare occasions, are either obsessive about their weight or are just naturally built that way.

 

I resist the "naturally built that way" idea--never seen or heard of a woman 5' 7" and 125 pounds who didn't have to work at it. Teenagers, yes, adult females, no. I can't deny they may exist, but I've never met one or had one identified to me. I've heard ad-hoc stories from people who had no way of knowing how easy it actually was for the other person, but no accounts I felt were at all accurate.

 

How can you be sure actresses and models are all unhealthy when at the low weights? Some definitely are, others aren't. I definitely think the mentality itself can be unhealthy, i.e. feeling OBLIGED to be thin, if you're not a extraordinarily disciplined person. Vergara seems like she may have a very discliplined attitude, she's quite the spirited Colombian. Jennifer Connelly freely admits she falls into unhealthy eating habits to keep herself between 120 and 130 when she gets too far above that range.

[LittleTiger]

I resist the "naturally built that way" idea--never seen or heard of a woman 5' 7" and 125 pounds who didn't have to work at it. Teenagers, yes, adult females, no. I can't deny they may exist, but I've never met one or had one identified to me. I've heard ad-hoc stories from people who had no way of knowing how easy it actually was for the other person, but no accounts I felt were at all accurate.

 

How can you be sure actresses and models are all unhealthy when at the low weights? Some definitely are, others aren't. I definitely think the mentality itself can be unhealthy, i.e. feeling OBLIGED to be thin, if you're not a extraordinarily disciplined person. Vergara seems like she may have a very discliplined attitude, she's quite the spirited Colombian. Jennifer Connelly freely admits she falls into unhealthy eating habits to keep herself between 120 and 130 when she gets too far above that range.

 

You can 'resist' it all you like but it doesn't make it any less true. I had a friend at college who was about 5ft 7in and built like a beanpole. She ate a lot and the most exercise she ever did was walking from one side of the campus to the other. She freely admitted that she never had to worry about her weight. So women like this do exist.

 

There is a massive range of sizes and shapes of human beings. Men are naturally 'built' differently from women, but they're also naturally built differently from one another. Some men find it easier to gain muscle than others, some men are broad and stocky, others are slim and wiry.

 

The same is true for women. Women naturally carry a higher percentage of body fat and naturally gain body fat more easily than men......and some women gain body fat more readily than others. Some women are soft and curvy, others are slight and skinny.

 

I'm not saying that D-Lish doesn't have to work at it. She quite clearly cares about her health and appearance and I'm sure she does work at it to stay that way but Carrie could probably work just as hard and never hope to achieve the same body shape - because she's not built that way.

 

I myself am only 5ft 3in and I weigh only a couple of pounds less than D-Lish. I'm extremely fit and strong with a high muscle mass and low body fat, I have a tiny waist and huge breasts. I work out 3 hours a day most days, I swim, hike, weight train and do cardio and I eat a very healthy diet. Nobody on this planet would call me fat, but you wouldn't call me 'thin' either. I am not thin and never will be thin because, not only would I have to stop working in order to fit in the amount of exercise I would need to do, I would probably have to eat around 750 calories a day for the rest of my life and, after all that, I would look ridiculous and be very unhealthy.

 

It's very well known that models eat unhealthily, most of them don't even have periods, and the 'diet' and exercise habits of movie stars, especially women, is well documented and in most cases crazy.

 

Eva Longoria was once reported to have a body fat of 8% and the papers threw this around as the latest figure of 'perfection' for a woman. This is the correct body fat % of a male athlete NOT a healthy woman who takes care of herself. Perhaps this was a lie that the tabloids decided to spread around but it's just one way that women and men get the idea that this 'thinness' is what's considered right or ideal.

 

Women are supposed to have body fat, that's how most of us are built. Some 'naturally' have more than others, but none of us is supposed to be 'thin'. Look back at the female movie stars of the 50s - that's what women are naturally supposed to look like. What man doesn't find the shape of Jessica Rabbit a turn on?

 

I'm with you all the way that most women, actually most people, don't make enough effort to stay in shape but you do have to remember that it's a lot easier for some than it is for others.

[EnigmaticClarity]

You can 'resist' it all you like but it doesn't make it any less true. I had a friend at college who was about 5ft 7in and built like a beanpole. She ate a lot and the most exercise she ever did was walking from one side of the campus to the other. She freely admitted that she never had to worry about her weight. So women like this do exist.

 

Yea, if you had been my male friend in college, I would have been this same "doesn't have to do **** to maintain their weight" guy. Easy, easy, easy. I didn't know why I was thin, I just was. Ate anything, anytime, drank like a fish, would usually get 10 tacos at Taco Bell and just generally eat a large volume of completely ****ty food. Medium frame identical to David Duchovny or Jon Hamm but slightly taller at 6' 2" and never went above 170. I'm sure I could have been 160 if I actually wanted to. It changed when I was 23 and I subsequently figured out why I was so thin--I had a fast metabolism because I was a nervous person. Once I got into a great, long-term relationship, my motivations changed, I relaxed, and went up to 200 and eventually 245. Was it my young age or some innate natural ability to remain thin? No, but I had no way to know that at the time. There's almost always something missing from the complete picture of the "naturally thin" person that they may not even know themselves.

 

It's very well known that models eat unhealthily, most of them don't even have periods, and the 'diet' and exercise habits of movie stars, especially women, is well documented and in most cases crazy.

 

Define "crazy." If you mean unrealistically challenging, I agree. If you mean on average unhealthy, I'll disagree and say it's sometimes true and sometimes not, depending upon the individual and their level of discipline.

Edited September 16, 2011 by EnigmaticClarity

[Allie32]

I agree- we're not talking post menopause here- my metabolism was still in great shape when I was 28. I am 41 and I admit that I have to eat less and exercise more to stay thin, but I do it, and I stay thin.

 

I say this is "content weight gain".... It happens in a lot of relationships.

 

I put on weight upon meeting my exH because I got content with being in a relationship. It got to a point where I looked in the mirror one day and said to myself- yuck... what happened to the thin girl? So I lost the weight. I was in my mid-late 20's at the time.

 

OP, I think you have to tell her how you're feeling, gently. I myself would want to know such a thing from my partner.

 

When my brother met his now wife, she was about 150lbs (5'8"). On their wedding day she was probably about 250lbs. She's now back down to about 180 where she's levelled out- but I know it bothers my brother.

 

 

Not everyone is like you and can stay thin. I'm guessing you have been this your whole life. I think women that have never had a problem being overweight don't really "get it" But yet they always have their say. Too funny.

[Allie32]

Losing weight is extremely easy though. You eat right and you exercise right. If you work out the right way for half an hour a day, you could eat loads of food. Sadly enough though I see women take spinning classes that last up to two hours, where they could just do some sprinting and improve their metabolism drastically.

 

 

No it isn't extremely easy. Where did you get that? Maybe its easy for YOU. That doesn't equate to everyone.

[Allie32]

Hmm, this is interesting. She's been in several long-term relationships before, but I don't know the details, so I can't say if this is a pattern for her.

 

 

If its really this serious, dump her and let her go find a guy that isn't so shallow.

[LittleTiger]

There's almost always something missing from the complete picture of the "naturally thin" person that they may not even know themselves..

 

There's something different about every individual and every individual's lifestyle and choices so you're right that we don't know exactly why some people are 'naturally thin' and others aren't, but the fact remains that some people don't have to make an effort to stay slim and others do.

 

My fiance is an athlete with a body fat of less than 9%. He eats up to 7000 calories a day and still struggles not to lose weight. Why? He has more lean muscle mass than most people, he has a lot of nervous energy, his job is physical, he loves to run - but whatever way you look at it, he is 'naturally' slim. He's been roughly the same size and shape since he was a teenager (he's now 45) and staying that way is easy for him - he doesn't have to put in any effort - it's just the way he is and the way he's always been.

 

I agree that it's partly biological and partly environmental and maybe he wouldn't be that way if he was a couch potato but for him, living life the way he does, it's his natural physique. His body is a by-product of his lifestyle, which for him is a natural way to live.

 

However, a different man, living exactly the same lifestyle could get completely different results. He might be skinny instead of lean and muscular, or bulky with lots of brawn, or even overweight because he doesn't metabolise that number of calories. Who knows. He would be whatever was natural for him under those circumstances.

 

Most of us have to adjust our lifestyle and eating habits to stay healthy and most of us have to make some effort.......but there are definitely some people who don't find it any effort at all and others for whom the effort is so great they decide it isn't worth it!

 

Define "crazy." If you mean unrealistically challenging, I agree. If you mean on average unhealthy, I'll disagree and say it's sometimes true and sometimes not, depending upon the individual and their level of discipline.

 

Crazy as in following fad diets which are 'on average' worse than unhealthy and have been proven to be so! To be 'thin' for top movie stars is part of the job so it's not unrealistically challenging for them - it's what they're paid for. That still doesn't make it a healthy way of life.

[homersheineken]

If its really this serious, dump her and let her go find a guy that is into unhealthy lifestyles and then blame it on other factors.

 

Fixed that for you.

[Cypress25]

If your 5 ' 7 and 125 lbs, without starving yourself.. then it means u have a lot of the ectomorph body type in you, and your NATURALLY petite...

 

MOST women, say, about 70%, cannot attain the weight/heigth ratio you have....

 

If most women ate 4 healthy meals, and snacks when hungry, and worked out every day for an hour.. they still would not have a body as slender as yours.

 

 

+1. Everyone has a different body type and everyone has a natural set point. You can force your body to go below that set point, but it's not healthy and you won't be able to maintain it forever. If you're naturally slim, it's easy for you to stay that way. But that doesn't mean it's easy for everyone else. Two people could be the same height, the same age, follow the exact same diet, and do the exact same exercise, but they still won't weigh the same. Unless they're identical twins, in which case they'd have the same DNA.

 

 

I am 5 ' 5 ish and 125

 

 

That's a normal, healthy weight. Nothing wrong with that.

 

 

They don't look at me cause I work out and maintain a healthy life style. They look at me more when I get thinner. So it's not about being healthy. It's about how men want a woman's body to look.

 

 

Seriously. You wouldn't believe how many compliments I got when I was anorexic and weighed 87 pounds. Everyone was telling me how great I looked, how sexy I looked, keep up the good work, etc. It was horrifying. I had no boobs, no butt, and no period, and apparently that looked really good on me. No one cared about my health. People were praising me for being unhealthy. Of course, they didn't know what I was doing to lose weight, but it should have been obvious that women don't get that skinny by being healthy.

 

 

 

I resist the "naturally built that way" idea--never seen or heard of a woman 5' 7" and 125 pounds who didn't have to work at it.

 

 

It's rare, but they do exist. Most of them are Asian, lol. There are some people who are pure ectomorphs and with their insane metabolism, they stay thin even if they eat crap and never exercise. These are the women who barely even gain weight when they're pregnant. And they wonder why other women have so much trouble.

 

 

How can you be sure actresses and models are all unhealthy when at the low weights?

 

 

If their low weight is a new development, then it's obviously not natural. And if it's not natural, then she's forcing it, and there's no healthy way to do that. Besides, you can tell. If they have the lollipop look (head is too big for the body), then they're starving themselves. Naturally thin women are in proportion.

 

 

I'm not saying that D-Lish doesn't have to work at it. She quite clearly cares about her health and appearance and I'm sure she does work at it to stay that way but Carrie could probably work just as hard and never hope to achieve the same body shape - because she's not built that way.

 

 

Yep, just another way that life is unfair. You can't tell by looking at someone how much they eat or how much they exercise. Some people have to be very strict with food and exercise to extremes to be thin, while other people can maintain the same figure without doing a damn thing.

 

 

but the fact remains that some people don't have to make an effort to stay slim and others do.

 

 

This is why I don't believe the OP is really concerned about his girl's health. If she was one of those women who could stay slim without making an effort, he wouldn't care if she never exercised and ate crap all day. She'd still be thin, and that is evidently all that matters to him.

[Allie32]

Fixed that for you.

 

 

You didn't need to "fix it" I still stand by what I say. There are men and women everywhere that gain weight. Gaining a small amount does not mean automatically mean she is living in an "unhealthy" way.

 

And if the OP can't accept her for who she is, than he should find a woman more up to his "standards". Shallow people suck.

[Allie32]

 

 

 

This is why I don't believe the OP is really concerned about his girl's health. If she was one of those women who could stay slim without making an effort, he wouldn't care if she never exercised and ate crap all day. She'd still be thin, and that is evidently all that matters to him.

 

 

100% agree with this

[waynesworld]

Hello everyone, and thanks for all the comments and suggestions. I wanted to clear up a few things:

 

Yes, I'm absolutely concerned about the way she looks. I can't fall in love with someone I'm not physically attracted to.

 

I'm also concerned about her lifestyle. As I wrote in my original post, a lot of it has to do with the fact that things are getting worse. She used to be more conscious about what she ate and used to be up for doing activities outside together, but that's changed. Dates aren't very fun when you don't do anything but sit around watching TV. I've tried to be encouraging, but there's been very little effort on her part. It could be a health issue we're not aware of. Or, as a friend suggested, maybe she's feeling down/depressed (although, she hasn't mentioned anything and seems to be in good spirits to me).

 

I'm going to talk to her this weekend.

[eerie_reverie]

Wayne, I am still curious as to how much weight she has actually gained.

 

Re: the debate whether anyone can be any weight, that's such a pointless discussion, as weight has nothing to do with body fat %. Muscle weighs more than fat, skinny people aren't always healthy, so what's the obsession with numbers?

 

Personally, I'm in the best shape of my life at 5'8 and 150. I'm a size 6 at Jcrew, Express; size 8 at BCBG; which I'm happy with. I've got a fair bit of muscle and I would have to hack off a limb to get down to 125.

[Kamille]

Can you gals who believe the average woman who is 5' 7" and can't get down to 125 in a healthy or reasonable way think of anyone in the public eye we can Google pictures of and weights for who is of a "medium" build and we have little reason to believe to be unhealthy? Jennifer Connelly? Emma Thompson? Hayley Atwell? Meryl Streep? Emily Blunt? Sofia Vergara? Katy Perry?

 

:lmao:

 

Jennifer Connelly? Medium frame? Have you ever seen any of her movies? She definitely has a small frame and is very thin.

 

But yes, maybe Sofia Vergara is medium frame. But I don't know why you would assume the media isn't fibbing about her weight. For some odd reason, it's pretty customary for any star to say they weight 125. It's a tradition out there.

 

I remember someone here once posting a chart, where people posted pictures of themselves at different height weight. I was well within the lower percentile of the group, at 5'8 and 145 pounds. I wish I could find that site, which would give us a better frame of reference for height / weight / frame. But I have to agree with the posters who say it is a pointless line of argumentation. The point is, I get sick when my weight drops below 133 pounds. 5'7 and 125 is not easily attainable or even desirable for everyone.

 

And ps: I have seen pics of eerie. She has a medium frame.

[FitChick]

Women should toss out the scale and ignore clothing sizes. Just use a tape measure.

 

Most people who claim to "eat healthy" and who are fat are eating too much healthy food. You need to track your calories to know EXACTLY what you are eating instead of guessing. I'm talking about buying a scale, measuring cups and measuring spoons. Portion sizes these days are massive. In the 1950s the average portion size was 4 oz or 1/2 cup. People were thinner back then and being obese was very rare.

 

I found MyFitnessPal website by accident but it looks very good. Free calorie counter, a community where you can talk to others like yourself and other things. I don't belong to it but might sign up to see what it's like.

 

I've used a software program for five years to track my calories and exercise. It's not great and I'm looking for something better, but I can look back over the months or years and see what I was eating when I gained or lost weight. I know calories, protein, fat, carbs. Example: since August 1 my average calorie intake has been 1933. I've lost a couple of pounds without starving or denying myself certain foods (today I had a luscious cupcake from Crumbs Bakery). I rarely do cardio beyond walking a couple of miles per week. I used to do more and plan to do more because I know I need it. I do use weights 4x week with my DVDs. I'm 5'8" and my weight is around 130, give or take 3 lbs. At 133 I get a grip and become more disciplined with my eating because I can't afford to buy new clothes and because I just feel better thinner.

 

If someone is too lazy to watch what she puts into her mouth or doesn't want to do any sort of exercise, I'm happy about it because it's less competition for me in the dating world.

[D-Lish]

Not everyone is like you and can stay thin. I'm guessing you have been this your whole life. I think women that have never had a problem being overweight don't really "get it" But yet they always have their say. Too funny.

 

Did you read everything I've said here or just pick out one post and decide to jump the gun and make an attack?

 

Actually, if you read back, I was a chubby teenager, and was always on the curvy side most of my life- and by curvy, I mean, bordering on chubby.

 

I lost 50 lbs after my divorce in my early 30's from being so stressed and depressed. I got way too thin, then levelled out at a weight I am happy with.

 

I've worked my butt off to maintain that weight for the last 8 years.

 

I'm not naturally thin by any means- I work at it, and I work hard at it.

The bottom line is that you have to make sacrifices and work hard at controlling what you put in your mouth- I struggle with that every day. I just have great willpower, I count calories, and I walk a lot.

 

If I gave in to everything I felt like eating, I'd be 160lbs again instead of 120lbs.

 

Our bodies are all different, how we gain and lose weight is different.

All I can tell you is that I don't have some natural perpensity for being thin- if anything, after meeting my biological mother and her side of the family, everyone is overweight.

 

So please don't make assumptions from reading one post.