brokendreamz Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 A girl asked me out online, we met on Monday eve for coffee, the date went well and I got home at midnight!! I said I'd like to see her again as she got out of my car and said I'd leave it up to her to get in touch if she fancied meeting up too. She text me when she got home to say she'd "love" to go to dinner but the only day she could do was Saturday - I can't do Saturday, she's away with work for a week from Sunday so I told her no worries but keep in touch. The next day I drop her a text - nothing heavy, just a how's your day type thing and she replies all nice. That was 2 days ago and I've heard nothing since... Am I being impatient? Should I chase or let her do the work?? Thoughts...
GivenUp0083 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 She might just be busy. I say give it a few more days, then drop another text or call. If she doesn't answer by then, try and find a different girl to date. Girls who flake this easy just aren't worth the time.
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Sounds like she's going on more than one date. Did you ask her if she's dating other guys besides you. Always good to bring that up at the table. This way you know what's she's doing. When they take so long to text back you're not on their minds as much as you think. So in other words she might not be really into you as you had hope. Why don't you just call her up and talk. She should remember your name if she doesn't then you know who your dealing with. Some times they might call you someone else. Or she might be working as she said.. Again call her up and see..
GivenUp0083 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Sounds like she's going on more than one date. Did you ask her if she's dating other guys besides you. Always good to bring that up at the table. This way you know what's she's doing. When they take so long to text back you're not on their minds as much as you think. So in other words she might not be really into you as you had hope. Why don't you just call her up and talk. She should remember your name if she doesn't then you know who your dealing with. Some times they might call you someone else. Or she might be working as she said.. Again call her up and see.. No, don't ask that question. It's none of your business if she's seeing other dudes, and if she is, do you really want to know? Here's the deal, if you ask her that, you'll come off as clingy/needy/jealous. DONT ASK THAT QUESTION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. If you're interested, and she seems interested too (she does to me) chase her. If not, don't. Sorry, men playing cool is not very exciting. You shouldn't chase anyone. If it's right and there's mutual interest, it'll work out. She'll make time to see you when she can, she just might be busy. Just go with it.
GivenUp0083 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 "Pursue" then rather than chase. Passivity is very dull. It's dull for a man too. If the OP chases most of the way, then he'll never be in a position to evaluate her interest based on actions. By taking his time and not OVER pursuing, he can get a feel for if she is interested and if her interest level is high enough where it is worth his time, money and emotional investment to take her out on another date. How many guys do you know that pursued his girl heavily and won her over? It's the passive guy that let's the GIRL chase HIM who is in a much better position.
GivenUp0083 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 With your name, I think it says it all. Why turn it into a sex war? I am talking about fun and initiative. Guys like you on LS get me down with your negativity. They are also generally the ones Musemaj an example who never go on any dates which is probably a service to humanity in and of itself. My name refers to the games and rules that men/women play in dating and for over asserting myself in the dating field. I have a LOT of dating experience. I've had my share of struggles, but I've also had successful experiences. I'm just helping people realize that despite society's notion that it is HIS responsibility to be assertive and risk everything, he doesn't have to. He can make a fair effort, but can also protect his calendar, wallet, and heart from those who lack sufficient interest to enter in a relationship with him. It's just happened to me too many times where women went on dates with me when there really wasn't any interest to begin with. All I'm saying is he can put forth is effort (my first post said to call her in a few days and give her time to respond as she could very well be busy, lost her phone, etc.). I'm just telling him that he shouldn't be so serious about it as to ask super personal questions that are none of his business and may give off the wrong impression. He should go on these dates to have fun and get to know her IF SHE IS INTERESTED. Why pursue and convince a woman to go on a date with you if she's not all that into you? If he over pursues, she just might be bored by chance on a friday night, and with him calling her relentlessly asking for a date, she may accept because "why not? He's the one paying and I'm not doing anything tonight anyway". I'm not saying this girl is actually doing this, I'm just saying that women have told me the SAME THING as in "yeah I'd LOVE to go out again" and then never hear from them again. I say he gives her a chance to respond to his initial contact because if she truly has interest she will not let his contact go un-responded and she will do whatever she can to get the next date set up.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 So you texted her and she replied all nice. She hasn't been unresponsive to another text, right? So, it looks to me like she was approving you contacting her. I understand wanting to feel contacted too but if it hasn't happened, it will start looking weird if you don't reach out again soon. Say something to her--just a little text to take her temperature. She may just be the type who is passive and expect the guy to court her. Good luck.
Author brokendreamz Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Hey guys, thanks for all the replies. Thought I'd pop back and share the latest which is pretty cool!! So, 10 minutes after I posted the question I got a text... from her lol !! We're going on a second date when she gets back from her holiday - woo hoo!! Trying not to be too keen, I really like her but it's too early on to show my hand. Just wanted to add that as far as quizzing a girl on the first second or maybe even third date about whether she's dating others is a little premature. In this online dating world, I think it's pretty normal for both sides to be active until strong enough feelings develop, which is when those sort of questions can be asked. Thanks again everyone :0)
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