The Duck Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 My gf and I have been together for 4 years . I have been 100% honest and faithful to her ..We live together and I support her financially , take her to school , pick her up; I do everything for her. She does not like driving , which is why I take her . I gave her my trust and she has basically stepped on it ever since we met . Every couple of months I find out about something else that she has lied to me about . Every time I tell her to tell me everything so we don't have to have this discussion again .. she says "That's the only thing " , and I forgive her and move on . The other day I found out that before she moved in with me ( together for 1 year ) she had met a guy and taken his number. I'm not sure when she met him , but some time after we got into an argument and broke up . We broke up in the evening , I spoke to her that night on the.phone , we got back together the next day . In the time period that we were broken up ( 1 day ) she called the guy, Hung out with him , made out with him , and supposedly did nothing else . Ok , so technically we were broken up ... but we were together when she took a number from a guy she.was obviously interested in . I have always let her do whatever she wanted and trusted her.. She use to hang out with her ex's and with a bunch of guys at various places, which she openly told me all hit on her. Knowing now what her mind set was ( He won't know , it's not lying if he doesn't ask me an exact question ) I wonder what all she actually did . I believe the only reason that she isn't still doing that is because she now lives with me , 30 minutes from town . She knows that if she.admitted to cheating it would be over , so I have this gut feeling that she has more to tell me but doesn't want to loose me . I can't blame her , as I said I do everything for her .. and am 100% trustworthy , why would you want to lose that ? I feel like she is using me at times ,though she doesn't ask me to buy her stuff all the time . But I am supporting her while she gets through college . She says that she is different now , and that she loves me and only wants me .. but she was also telling me this back when she took his number and did whatever else she hasn't yet confessed to . I love her and have been trying to make it work . It's hard though, when you find out about so many lies . What do you guys think !???
Author The Duck Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Trust is extremely important to me and she know that . I feel hurt and disrespected that she would take my trust and step all over it, especially when she says how happy she is that I trust her , because no one ever has . She has a history of cheating , I don't .. yet she has never trusted me . I can't even go somewhere by myself without her getting pissy and thinking I am doing something bad . I have given her nothing but reasons TO trust me; she has given me the opposite yet I am the one forgiving her and giving her my trust again . Other than the lies and deceitfulness she is good to me . She always insists on making my meals , doing the laundry , etc. But I am really getting tired of being accused of doing things that she was actually doing . I guess the problem is that she has burnt out all of the trust I had for her , and I can't bring myself to believe that this time she is being honest and there isn't something else that she's done .
Author The Duck Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 I know it hasn't been that long ... but ANY advice / thoughts are greatly appreciated . I need to either get over it and give her another chance , or break things off and move on . I can't stand feeling this way .
Woggle Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I think you know what you need to do. Staying with her will just cause nothing but drama and heartbreak in your life. If this other guy is so great he is worth cheating with then he can drive her and do everything for her. I would give her a week to get out if I were you.
Author The Duck Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 She didn't exactly cheat, that I know of .. We were technically broken up when she hooked up with him ( If that was the only time ) . Though , taking someone's number and hanging out with them when you are obviously interested in them , when you have a bf , is screwed up in my opinion. I definitely wasn't doing that to her . I shut down every girl immediately when I see that they are interested. I don't take their number and hang out with them . It just makes me wonder what else she did that she doesn't want to tell me .
Woggle Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 She didn't exactly cheat, that I know of .. We were technically broken up when she hooked up with him ( If that was the only time ) . Though , taking someone's number and hanging out with them when you are obviously interested in them , when you have a bf , is screwed up in my opinion. I definitely wasn't doing that to her . I shut down every girl immediately when I see that they are interested. I don't take their number and hang out with them . It just makes me wonder what else she did that she doesn't want to tell me . Exactly. She took his number while she was still with you and is obviously interested in him so do you think that is the only time?
Author The Duck Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Sooo ... after asking her for an hour if there was anything else , and hearing "nope , that's it " , I drop it .. then year " ok fine " ... She said she hooked up with a guy before we got together and didn't want to tell me because he is a friend of her sisters and he's always there .. She thought I might not want her to hang out over there anymore. I wouldn't have cared if she had just told me back then, but now I do . She flat out lied because she didn't want to risk not being able to hang out with them . This tells me there is no way in hell she would confess to anything else because she wouldn't want me to break up with her . Am I over thinking this , or am I on the right track ?
Woggle Posted September 17, 2011 Posted September 17, 2011 There is so much more than what she is saying. Usually what you know from a cheater is only the tip of the iceberg. Just get her out of your life already. This must be torture for you.
Author The Duck Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 Definitely is torture. I just want to be 100% sure , because I do live her and would miss her a LOT. There is another small detail , lol. Awhile back she tested positive for chlamydia. She swore up and down it was a mistake. I never got tested , just got the pills to get rid of of incase.. She was never retested. Funny thing is , she was extremely insecure and jealous at the time, thinking I was screwing around , yet when she found out she never accused me . She never thought I gave it to her .
Author The Duck Posted September 17, 2011 Author Posted September 17, 2011 I'm posting from my phone , sorry about the typos ..
MyT Posted September 18, 2011 Posted September 18, 2011 I'm posting from my phone , sorry about the typos .. I hope my age doesn't make it any less valuable - I'm old enough to have interacted with older people and take on responsibilities and I'm young enough to remember what it felt like to have feelings and emotions unleashed through your head I dated a girl for 2 years (this was 2 years ago), we were both 15, the breakup was really messed up - I don't want to ninja your thread - but about 1 month afterwards, she got together with another guy who she knew before me (i do not know how close or any more details) - about a few months after they got together I asked her to get together back with me (I knew they had issues but nothing more) and all she said was 'she's happy now' (in a relationship with obvious underlying problems) I will say now that I'm happy she didn't get back together with me - it would've wasted more time with more heartache - it was a relationship doomed to fail Bro, from the things you typed on your post - if you remove that girl from your life and open yourself up a bit - you'll find there are so many other girls who'd die to have such a guy like that No offence to you - why do you put up with trash like that
Author The Duck Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 I know , I'm waaaay too forgiving. I ended up getting her to admit to having sex with him .. and apparently she saw him a lot more than I knew .. he worked with her at a seasonal job every year , until he was fired last year . we talked a lot .. she seems to understand now that she was pretty much emotionally cheating . I had her stuff packed and half of it loaded in the truck but decided to hear her out . At the moment her stuff is packed but in the house . Not sure what to do .. I know it seems like an obvious choice , but I still love her so much so its hard to let that go without giving her another chance . At times I am ok with it and think I can forget it and move on , then i get angry , that horrible feeling in my gut , and last night I got NO sleep . The thought of her with someone else just rips me apart , and the visions that you get are pretty much unbearable .
Author The Duck Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 One reason I am trying to give her another chance is that we were technically broken up at the time she had sex with him ( assuming you.can believe it was only that one time ) . Can I really punish her for that ?
Author The Duck Posted September 18, 2011 Author Posted September 18, 2011 Also , The thought of being without her is horrible .. I love her so much .. But when I look at her I can't stand her . I immediately get mad,sad,confused, I resent her so much . I don't want to touch her or her touch me . I have zero affection for her , yet I can't stand letting her go (?) . I can't see myself feeling the same way towards her , yet I don't want to let her go . I guess I am just stubborn and can't accept the fact that she is not the person that I fell in love with . I want to hug her and be affectionate , but I am so mad , hurt , disgusted ...
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