Do I have a chance or should I just give up and try to move on?

[dangerbang]

Hello all, found your site and some of the stories here are intriguing. I am a 31 year old male and she is 35. I broke up with my gf of over a year about 2 months ago. She said she just wasn't happy with the relationship and there was a lot of pressure on both of us. Yes it had become toxic but I moved country for her and we were suddenly living together for a while and the whole thing was weird and I was insecure and needy etc and had kind of lost the run of myself, which yes is not very attractive. I was really unhappy back home in Ireland while we were doing long distance, unhappy with my job, social life, and the fact that I didn't see Ms X very often.

 

So anyways. After pleading with her (like a chump) for a while after breaking up I accepted she didn't want to have anything to do with me and I started no contact for about 5 or 6 weeks. She texted me a couple of times in this space to "see if I was ok" and I ignored. Then on Saturday she called me, I ignored her the first time but picked up her next call and she said "I just wanted to see if you were ok", and I said yes I'm fine, but why are you calling? What if i was not ok? What would you do about it? And she said sorry I'm being selfish etc, then we chatted for a bit, i asked if she wanted to meet up (like the fool I am) and she said "no it just doesn't work between us".

Anyway a few days later I emailed her and told her that I was getting help for some issues I had and explained a lot of stuff that was going on and how I'm getting better. She didn't reply but I asked her to meet me for coffee on Wednesday and she did. We had a nice chat for nearly an hour and at the end she said "ok lets just play things by ear, we'll do this again soon", and kissed me on the cheek and left.

 

What should I do? Should I just wait for her to contact me? I reckon if I hear nothing by next weekend I'll give up on it, but I was in a bad place mentally while I was with her and feel much better now. I feel bad because it's like she got the wrong impression of me over time as I was not happy at all, and I became needy for her to provide me happiness. Lately I've been sorting that out, getting better at my new job, working out more, I started boxing at a club, and I've laid off the booze and given up smoking. I also visited my parents in the South of France for some R and R in the sun which was really nice.

 

So I'm 99% sure she has no interest - do I just forget about her and move on and leave it in her court?

 

Thanks all xoxo.

[mike588]

Hello all, found your site and some of the stories here are intriguing. I am a 31 year old male and she is 35. I broke up with my gf of over a year about 2 months ago. She said she just wasn't happy with the relationship and there was a lot of pressure on both of us. Yes it had become toxic but I moved country for her and we were suddenly living together for a while and the whole thing was weird and I was insecure and needy etc and had kind of lost the run of myself, which yes is not very attractive. I was really unhappy back home in Ireland while we were doing long distance, unhappy with my job, social life, and the fact that I didn't see Ms X very often.

 

So anyways. After pleading with her (like a chump) for a while after breaking up I accepted she didn't want to have anything to do with me and I started no contact for about 5 or 6 weeks. She texted me a couple of times in this space to "see if I was ok" and I ignored. Then on Saturday she called me, I ignored her the first time but picked up her next call and she said "I just wanted to see if you were ok", and I said yes I'm fine, but why are you calling? What if i was not ok? What would you do about it? And she said sorry I'm being selfish etc, then we chatted for a bit, i asked if she wanted to meet up (like the fool I am) and she said "no it just doesn't work between us".

Anyway a few days later I emailed her and told her that I was getting help for some issues I had and explained a lot of stuff that was going on and how I'm getting better. She didn't reply but I asked her to meet me for coffee on Wednesday and she did. We had a nice chat for nearly an hour and at the end she said "ok lets just play things by ear, we'll do this again soon", and kissed me on the cheek and left.

 

What should I do? Should I just wait for her to contact me? I reckon if I hear nothing by next weekend I'll give up on it, but I was in a bad place mentally while I was with her and feel much better now. I feel bad because it's like she got the wrong impression of me over time as I was not happy at all, and I became needy for her to provide me happiness. Lately I've been sorting that out, getting better at my new job, working out more, I started boxing at a club, and I've laid off the booze and given up smoking. I also visited my parents in the South of France for some R and R in the sun which was really nice.

 

So I'm 99% sure she has no interest - do I just forget about her and move on and leave it in her court?

 

Thanks all xoxo.

She calls you, she texts you, she meets up with you ,she kisses you and says lets play it by ear.

Why are you 99% sure she has no interest??

[dangerbang]

She calls you, she texts you, she meets up with you ,she kisses you and says lets play it by ear.

Why are you 99% sure she has no interest??

 

because during break up she said that it wont work and that there's something missing for her, that she loves me but is not in love with me, that "I feel like we're best friends!!". All of our favourite clichés!

 

I've no doubt she thinks I'm a great person and nothing bad ever happened between us, I just don't think she has romantic feelings for me anymore, she said that. I don't blame her either as I wasn't in a great place when I moved here to be with her. I thought some time off might change things but it's been over 2 months now and still nothing. See what I mean?

[mike588]

In that case then I would just express how I feel, what I want. Leave it at that and go back to no contact and stick with it!!! and move on.

 

Her feelings may change.

 

Best of luck to you.

[dangerbang]

In that case then I would just express how I feel, what I want. Leave it at that and go back to no contact and stick with it!!! and move on.

 

Her feelings may change.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

Yes that's the plan. I really need to get laid though...

[dangerbang]

In that case then I would just express how I feel, what I want. Leave it at that and go back to no contact and stick with it!!! and move on.

 

Her feelings may change.

 

Best of luck to you.

 

Yeah but at the same time, she's a pretty girl, if she's out banging other dudes now and comes back in a month or two to say she wants to see me again, it's not exactly fair is it? You can't just take a hiatus from a relationship when you get bored or pressured can you? I'm a good looking smart guy, I know I can do better, but I do miss the old girl at the same time...

[mike588]

Yeah but at the same time, she's a pretty girl, if she's out banging other dudes now and comes back in a month or two to say she wants to see me again, it's not exactly fair is it? You can't just take a hiatus from a relationship when you get bored or pressured can you? I'm a good looking smart guy, I know I can do better, but I do miss the old girl at the same time...

 

Don't project what she may do at this time. You just said you needed to get laid,, what if you do the same and she comes back? Your just as guilty.

[dangerbang]

Don't project what she may do at this time. You just said you needed to get laid,, what if you do the same and she comes back? Your just as guilty.

 

Well I'm not guilty because she has never given any indication that she wants to reconcile. Anyway no I am trying to focus on other things apart from broads for the time being. Life ain't so bad without them!