Imajerk17 Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I don't mean to be a *ahem* jerk here, but this relationship has seen so much dysfunction.... I can't congratulate them. I mean, what's going to happen if they bring kids into the world and they have to parent them?
Art_Critic Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 How long did the beatdown last again? 6 hours? Was he really cowering and shaking by the time it was done? All we need now if for threebyfate to come on here and cheerlead Eternal_Sunshine and tell her "how much healthier she is". Is guess thumping on TBF and ES all in the same post was your objective ? Good Job IMAJERK
OliveOyl Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 What I really wanna know is what happened to the Jimmy Choo's.... THE JIMMY CHOO'S!!! Oh... and congrats!
betterdeal Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 So ... At the risk of being soundly bi**hslapped, dare I inquire: Is your boyfriend a psychopathic loser, or have you unfairly represented him to your friends here on LoveShack? And, Are you prepared to defend him, to stand up for him, have compassion and empathy for him, to have his back and look for the good in him even in his weaker moments? To treat him with respect and speak of him with respect? Even when he is not making you feel good? Or even if things don't go the way you'd hoped? I hope so, since I think that both people need to offer that to one another in strong, positive relationships. Bottom line is, I wish you luck. Him too. This is a good aim. Perhaps couples counselling would help you guys get there?
Nexus One Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 That's a good point there SG. It'll be interesting to hear what ES says about this, because that's not only a remarkable turn of events, but as you say, the timing of their reunification is even more remarkable. ES, not that you're obligated to answer any questions or maintain your thread, but if you're going to post a thread and then someone brings up an important point like that, yet you pull out of the thread completely, then that leaves people kind of puzzled I think.
utterer of lies Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Interesting pilot episode of season 4. I wonder if they manage to keep up the tension and excitement we all know from the last 3 seasons. Although I'm not sure if bringing the ex back was a good decision - remember the episode with the 12h psycho terror session? No one wants to see that again...
Professor X Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Interesting pilot episode of season 4. I wonder if they manage to keep up the tension and excitement we all know from the last 3 seasons. Although I'm not sure if bringing the ex back was a good decision - remember the episode with the 12h psycho terror session? No one wants to see that again... Ah yes, and for those of you who didn't know, someone was inspired by ES and made a show about her, here's a link to the show: She's even blonde
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 ES, not that you're obligated to answer any questions or maintain your thread, but if you're going to post a thread and then someone brings up an important point like that, yet you pull out of the thread completely, then that leaves people kind of puzzled I think. That's her MO. I thought you knew that by now.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Sorry guys. I didn't revisit the thread because of all the negativity I was expecting coming my way. The shoes. Well when I said 4 weeks, I meant approximate 4 weeks. He took me to dinner 2 days later and presented me with the replacemement pair. That's the evening when we got back together. We did talk about it previously though, although some talks didn't go so well. He is a bit temperamental and I am willing to accept that. He is currently sleeping next to me. I'm going home in the morning to finish packing up and moving in tomorrow. Things have definitely changed since we got back together and I think we now have a real shot of making it as a couple. Even his dad thinks that I'm the perfect match for him.
oaks Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Sorry guys. I didn't revisit the thread because of all the negativity I was expecting coming my way. Yeah, we usually spoil your threads by about the 2nd or 3rd page, and after the 5th page we're usually arguing over who is 'supporting' and who is 'attacking' you. Sorry about that. Glad you got some new shoes!
vsmini Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Moving in together is a huge mistake. You don't move in together while the relationship is already rocky and yes, it is rocky, aprox. 4 weeks of not sobbing non-stop is not a healthy relationship make. You have a stable relationship...then you get engaged....then you get married You don't have a complete wreck of a drama for a relationship and then decide you want to get married and see how living together is a good idea. You're doing this way out of order. I suspect the both of you are instant gratifications junkies to a delusional degree.
vsmini Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 So ... Is your boyfriend a psychopathic loser, or have you unfairly represented him to your friends here on LoveShack? And, Are you prepared to defend him, to stand up for him, have compassion and empathy for him, to have his back and look for the good in him even in his weaker moments? To treat him with respect and speak of him with respect? Even when he is not making you feel good? Or even if things don't go the way you'd hoped? I hope so, since I think that both people need to offer that to one another in strong, positive relationships. Well said. I hope you read this ES and know deep down that unless you can handle what was just said Chaucer you will not and do not have a healthy relationship.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted September 22, 2011 Author Posted September 22, 2011 Yes Mme C, I'm fully prepared to do that. I know that he has his flaws and I have accepted them as a part of him. I'm 100% comitted to him and this relationship.
OliveOyl Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Moving in together is a huge mistake. You don't move in together while the relationship is already rocky and yes, it is rocky, aprox. 4 weeks of not sobbing non-stop is not a healthy relationship make. You have a stable relationship...then you get engaged....then you get married You don't have a complete wreck of a drama for a relationship and then decide you want to get married and see how living together is a good idea. You're doing this way out of order. I suspect the both of you are instant gratifications junkies to a delusional degree. Hmmm someone please tell me where I can get this book that tells me the exact order and correct formula to a happy relationship. Oh wait... there is none. Probably because everyone's different. And everyone's free to make mistakes and chalk it up to experience. Yeah that might be it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Yes Mme C, I'm fully prepared to do that. I know that he has his flaws and I have accepted them as a part of him. I'm 100% comitted to him and this relationship. I'm happy to hear that. Though I am a big fan of LoveShack, and () kind of easily attracted by high drama - I believe that if a person comes here and displays every foible of their loved one and subjects it to scrutiny and to the opinions of thousands of strangers, every one of us with our own bias, agenda, baggage, whatever, it is NOT going to benefit the relationship. And it's disloyal. In a relationship, the place to start to work on issues would be between the people involved, I believe. That being said, though, there are instances where the input from such a group as this has value.
torn_curtain Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Though I am a big fan of LoveShack, and () kind of easily attracted by high drama - I'm threadjacking a bit here but.. That surprises me a little, since you're also so critical of people who you perceive as being dramatic/unstable.
Art_Critic Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 In a relationship, the place to start to work on issues would be between the people involved, I believe. the funny part is that she did do that... She dealt with it with him and never posted about it and she has been berated for that to. Posters even made fun of her saying it is her MO to not come back and post more. She is damned if she does damned if she doesn't.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 Quote: Originally Posted by Mme. Chaucer In a relationship, the place to start to work on issues would be between the people involved, I believe. the funny part is that she did do that... She dealt with it with him and never posted about it and she has been berated for that to. Posters even made fun of her saying it is her MO to not come back and post more. She is damned if she does damned if she doesn't. Just for the record, I did not post that as any kind of direct criticism or commentary on ES specifically - though we all know she has posted a lot of stuff here about her relationship(s) that didn't get her anything but more trouble than she had to begin with. I doubt that you, ES, would argue with me about that, would you? It's a general observation I have about dynamics on this site. Also, I have kind of zeroed in on a value of my own that I had not quite articulated to myself until recently (even though I'm old): "Oversharing" (that's a value judgement I'm aware that I'm making) about the very intimate and personal goings-on between myself and my partner usually will serve to weaken my bond with him rather than help to strengthen it. Anonymity does not really make that much difference. Whether I'm sitting around talking with my mom or my friends or here on LS telling about the mean comments he makes, or the stuff said during a bitter fight, or how he behaves sexually, it still seems more likely to punch a lot of holes in our intimacy than build it up. And, there's always the caveat that sometimes, outside input, and even a whole bunch of it, can illuminate or spank us into reality or whatever. But I truly think it needs to be sought with a lot of consciousness and care, and with a clear knowledge of what ones motive is in seeking it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2011 Posted September 22, 2011 I'm threadjacking a bit here but.. That surprises me a little, since you're also so critical of people who you perceive as being dramatic/unstable. Well, obviously I'm attracted by it - or else I wouldn't be reading the threads in order to be critical in them! As you and ES are both aware, because I have told you many times, I used to be "dramatic / unstable" myself. I was very self indulgent during those days in many ways, and I was terrible to myself and a bad friend and bad girlfriend, mostly. So I kind of say "takes one to know one" with some of the high drama threads I weigh in on here on LS.
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Just take each day as it comes and enjoy eachother. Keep communicating and really listening to one another. Remember the small stupid stuff, petty arguing isn't worth it. Life is short, don't over react (same goes for him too) over stuff that really isn't worth getting upset/angry over. Rules to live by! Never go to bed pissed off with one another. Say I love you every day and mean it. Before work, kiss eachother with some passion every single day. It'll make you both feel good and put a smile on your faces! When arguing at all, set up rules and boundries. No name calling and disrespect. If anger is there and words could be said that might be hurtful, take a step back and have some space (in another room) until the timing is better to talk it out. Pick your battles. Have fun, and really laugh daily with him. Don't ever forget why you love one another. After 18 years -- Trust me, these rules help a lot! Oh, letting go of ego and who is right/wrong... Just doesn't matter at the end of the day.
Art_Critic Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Just for the record, I did not post that as any kind of direct criticism or commentary on ES specifically - Yeah.. I didn't mean to imply it either.. I just quoted you because what you wrote fit... and yeah .. maybe her postings her got her in more trouble.. till she figured out what to share and what not too... Isn't that what life is all about..learning from our mistakes and making a correction for the future.. figuring out what fits in our lives and what doesn't..
tigressA Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 Yeah.. I didn't mean to imply it either.. I just quoted you because what you wrote fit... and yeah .. maybe her postings her got her in more trouble.. till she figured out what to share and what not too... Isn't that what life is all about..learning from our mistakes and making a correction for the future.. figuring out what fits in our lives and what doesn't.. Right. I made a massive improvement in my life and relationship by deciding to not post about it here anymore. I at first couldn't believe how much better it all has become in such a short time by not allowing other people to weigh in on everything with their million and one hypotheses and increasingly, unnecessarily harsh criticism. ES, I think that would benefit you as well. That being said, I wish you all the best in your reconciliation. May you be very happy together.
vsmini Posted September 23, 2011 Posted September 23, 2011 (edited) Hmmm someone please tell me where I can get this book that tells me the exact order and correct formula to a happy relationship. Oh wait... there is none. Probably because everyone's different. And everyone's free to make mistakes and chalk it up to experience. Yeah that might be it. Of course there is no formula but can you really argue that you don't need to have a stable relationship before you move in with someone? I hope you don't need a book for that. Edited September 23, 2011 by vsmini
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