OCCDAVE Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Well that girl who seemed kinda iffy and i had our 2nd date tonight.i was thinking she was gonna cancel but didnt.well night went off to a good start alot of laughing and a bit of hand holding.during the convo i mentioned next weeks my b day as of now no plans and can she join me for maybe a dinner.she said for sure sounds good think made a kinda slip up or maybe not hey my bro graduates in a few weeks can u come ya id like to just need to see if im teaching that day sounds i can then introduce you to my mother Oh wow should i be scared like shes not strict is she not at all well fast forward we made out in the car for a bit and i made a boneheaded move hey i like you and i know its still soon but think in time we can be exclusive. Well im not gonna say yes now id like to get to know you more. My face was beyond red i can feel did i f this up.
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 What's the rush, take your time.. Seems to be going well for you.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Ya kinda need to relax and chill out.was the introduce you to my mom comment just as bad.tbh i think she does in fact like me i mean we couldnt keep our eyes off each other.we both had remembered details from the first date.thing is shes a very busy person so is once a week enough to get a vibe from someone or make an outing sooner then next thursday
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 She mentioned a concert in detroit next week with her friend she wanted to go.oddly enough its one of my favorite singers so i was gonna ask one of these questions 1.hey if u two get tix can i get my own ticket can i go with you. 2.hey i bought a pair of tix will you go with me. Or dont say anything
Imageiko Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 slow down! Seriously you've gone on 2 dates.... I wouldn't invite yourself to the concert at all that's about as bad as trying to introduce her to your mother or asking to be exclusive after 2 dates!!! You have to calm down or your going to push her away.
USCGAviator Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 You just said that you agreed you need to calm down, and then you went right back to stupid questions. Yeah you should invite yourself or invite her with you even though she made plans with her friend. Prove us wrong so we can put our foot in our mouths.
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 She mentioned a concert in detroit next week with her friend she wanted to go.oddly enough its one of my favorite singers so i was gonna ask one of these questions 1.hey if u two get tix can i get my own ticket can i go with you. 2.hey i bought a pair of tix will you go with me. Or dont say anything Don't go it's call me time with her friend. You don't need to go everywhere she goes. You must slow down give her some room, then pick another date for you and her only. Don't go on any dates with her girl friends because it going to be you and them and her. Not a pleasant time going through those.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Well looks like ill need to eat my own foot or whatever else is coming .i think my mouth just sealed this heres our convo I think its better we just stay friends. You want everything too fast & im not ready for that. I don't want to feel pushed into something. I prefer to just let things happen on their own. I wasnt trying to move fast did kissing u make u feel that or what i said in the car You barely know me. Ive seen u a few times & your telling me u want to be exclusive. I was just shocked. I said in time hopefully plus i can feel my face burning i knew i made a dumb comment then you took off so fast i was embaressed.look lets take it one day at a time we both enjoy each others company i just said the wrong thing but i did mean later its still to soon that was an hour ago shes in class so her reply may come later or not.now what strict nc or what.in my defense i did say in time not sure if it makes it any better.ugh may have just screwed a good thing
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Which part is from her? All of the above.. You need to say from her then from you so we know who's saying what. Sounds like you have mess this one up. Next time you need to take your time don't rush these modern girls. Not like it was in the 50's or 60's. Where a guy goes out with a girl an they become steady or exclusive. Today these girls want more or come and go as they please sounds like what you got there or had.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 I think its better and you barly know me are her parts of the convo.im beyond sick i mean she agreed to a 3rd date why the hell ask for exclusive from her.keep in mind i did say down the road but let it happen heck its going well as is.sigh i dunno what to do guess nc meh.
carhill Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 IMO, stick to pursuing good times and flirting and building physical intimacy. Let the lady do the 'where is this going?' stuff. Set up dates so there is ample space between them. If the lady wants to see you more often, she'll let you know. Once a week is fine early on. Avoid 'group' dates and venues where there are a lot of distractions, at least early on. Build personal rapport. Talk less; do more.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 IMO, stick to pursuing good times and flirting and building physical intimacy. Let the lady do the 'where is this going?' stuff. Set up dates so there is ample space between them. If the lady wants to see you more often, she'll let you know. Once a week is fine early on. Avoid 'group' dates and venues where there are a lot of distractions, at least early on. Build personal rapport. Talk less; do more.so when it comes to this one is nc starting now my best bet.like i said 3rd date was planned out no reason to put an exclusive label yet.sigh i feel sick
hurtingheart Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 This one here is just called sabotage, plain and simple. NC at this point won't make her change her mind, I wouldn't think. You scared her with that talk. Whether she liked you or not, you have to understand what a huge red flag that is. That would be like a woman telling you she loved you after two dates. It's just something that no matter how much you like her, you just don't want to hear that because it makes you wonder what the heck are they thinking. Carhill said it right when he said to take your time and let the female initiate that type of question. Go with the flow. Don't push a woman into a corner or you won't like the result.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 I was thinking maybe give it a few days to call her and be like look your a very nice persom and i do enjoy spending time with you.i didnt mean to scare you off i wasnt thinking .if this is gonna happen it will i cant alter the future and make it. Ugh ive been down all day i really messed a good thing
daphne Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I was thinking maybe give it a few days to call her and be like look your a very nice persom and i do enjoy spending time with you.i didnt mean to scare you off i wasnt thinking .if this is gonna happen it will i cant alter the future and make it. Ugh ive been down all day i really messed a good thing Only do that if you really want to push her away. You can't go in with that weak of an approach. She'll lose all respect for you. How about you wait a week or more. Then call her out of the blue and see how she's doing. See if she's receptive. Then suggest plans. You need to s l o w down. I thought you were kidding when you mentioned meeting your mother. Please don't ever do that again so early. How about in 3-6 months. It smacks of desperation. It's ok if you messed up this time. There are other girls out there. Just be sure to not be in such an all fired hurry next time.
carhill Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Talk less, do more. If you wish to ask her out on another date, do that. Don't mention the past. Focus on the future. In the meantime, look at other potentials.
daphne Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Talk less, do more. If you wish to ask her out on another date, do that. Don't mention the past. Focus on the future. In the meantime, look at other potentials. That's what I meant to say!
Imageiko Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I was thinking maybe give it a few days to call her and be like look your a very nice persom and i do enjoy spending time with you.i didnt mean to scare you off i wasnt thinking .if this is gonna happen it will i cant alter the future and make it. Ugh ive been down all day i really messed a good thing Instead of getting all down on yourself learn from this. It's very likely not salvageable at this point so don't beat yourself up too bad. Your lucky, you got out before she told you she's a dominatrix that likes her boyfriends to wear a dog leash 24/7. If you insist on trying to salvage it though like others have said don't bring up the past, take your time and don't always be the one asking where this is going or pushing for it to become really serious.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 Well a week from now is my b day and next friday she may be going to detroit.so i call her up and just act like nothing happened.wont the week of nc make me look bitter that she kinda turned me down
hurtingheart Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 I would let her be. Like we said, you already put her on high alert that you could be looking for way too much too soon. Meeting your mother, hanging alone with you on your birthday and being exclusive after two dates is disconcerting. You played your night perfectly beyond that. I think you got a little caught up in the make-out session and opened up your big mouth. Haha. If you want to play this right and still have a shot, I wouldn't contact her. She knows you have a birthday next week. She will most likely think of you on that day and could very well shoot you a text to say happy birthday and what are you doing. At that point, you could actually say thanks and maybe see what if she still wants to go out and do something. Nothing serious. She already knows you like her A LOT. Let her come to you. If you had really great chemistry and she liked you too, she just might. But let her do all the leading on this one or you have no shot.
johan Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Where were your hands when you said it? That can make a big difference as to the answer of how bad you messed up.
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 Where were your hands when you said it? That can make a big difference as to the answer of how bad you messed up. If you mean when i busted the exclusive comment we were sitting in her car and i was holding her hand.i also notice i doubt this has anything to do with it she smoked a cig before we ate and after.maybe a sign she was stressed about work or who knows.i noticed cuz first date she didnt so i was bit shocked.
hurtingheart Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 First date is totally best behavior. Second date, she may have let her guard down to show you she smokes to see how you reacted. If you were fine with it, great. If you weren't, she would know that it won't go anywhere. I would play it the way I said and see what happens. Any contact from you at this point won't be a positive. I just know personally that if a girl said that to me, even if I was totally into her, it would scare the bejesus out of me. I would immediately think she were too clingy for my liking. Good luck, and please, learn a lesson from this one. No matter how good it's going in the beginning, play it cool. You were making out this date. It could've gotten a whole lot better next one
Author OCCDAVE Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 Ya and it was all set up for a dinner for my b day ugh.another thing should i also avoid from posting any fb status .reason i ask shes my friend on there .
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