AloneinTexas Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 32/m single, I am active in a sport which another girl is and she is semi single (I think casually dating someone, but she never talks about him). She knows of me through the community of which sport we play and I knew of her the same way. At any rate, I have been engaging in this sport with her for almost a month now, roughly once a week. I added her on FB a while back and talked to her a handful of times before actually meeting her. She invited me to come partake in sport once a week with the group she meets with. I have been showing up there every week, like clockwork. I do find her attractive and she is quite modest, calm, and friendly to everyone. Just last week she asked me for my phone number, to which I immediately teased her by saying "its on my FB" and then quickly just giving it to her. I didn't even ask for her number just cuz I wished to remain "playing it cool." We have gone out as a small group for eats following working out and its usually very pleasant. Just tonight, I get a text from her asking who my sister coaches, (she's a soccer coach.) I told her "Ur mom" just as a joke and she replied "what? lol, seriously" so I replied "i meant to say southington, but mom came out on accident." she then said "thanks...your weird. lol." i replied "at least i don't look constipated in my FB pic, bada boom bada bing." then she replied "ouch, that 1 hurt real bad." i finally said back "try ozzie osborne or johnson and johnson no more tears." I didn't get anything back from that, but I figured i would work the angle of teasing her a bit since most guys just adore her/compliment her i figured i don't wish to be that guy. Thoughts?
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Straight up: A 32 year old MAN does not flirt that way. A 12 year old BOY does. If I received texts like that from someone I had been interested in, I'd be immediately turned off...and I'll call him weird, just like she did.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 well... maybe you just need to wait a bit longer for a response but, to be perfectly blunt, I think I would have gathered that you're immature. I don't think it was offensive or anything just... over-all off-putting? If it's "flirting", it just seems like an extremely underdeveloped form of it. But then again, some people might have the kind of sense of humor/playfulness that would enjoy those comments.
duckrepair Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I came. I read. I cringed. Seriously? -- "bada boom bada bing." ???
Author AloneinTexas Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 I over exagerrated my age to keep it anonymous. Im closer to 27. I guess whatever happens happens. If she is put off over any form of social/texting awkwardness and immediately writes me off even if everything else seems great, then she was never worth it. I have had plenty of gf's, some of which she even knows, and I act how I act. Most girls probably find me unappealing. But I have only dated the interesting girls anyways, the ones that you can say and do anything around.
OnyxSnowfall Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I over exagerrated my age to keep it anonymous. Im closer to 27. I guess whatever happens happens. If she is put off over any form of social/texting awkwardness and immediately writes me off even if everything else seems great, then she was never worth it. I have had plenty of gf's, some of which she even knows, and I act how I act. Most girls probably find me unappealing. But I have only dated the interesting girls anyways, the ones that you can say and do anything around. it's good to seek out someone that accepts you for you (although it's also good to find someone who can help you grow and improve yourself)... but it's inaccurate to claim they're inherently uninteresting if they don't accept you for you... that's delusional/narcissistic consolation... not really good IMO. But yes, whatever happens happens...
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 But I have only dated the interesting girls anyways, the ones that you can say and do anything around. You mean the ones who have no standards of behavior? I'm sorry, but are you sure you're not 17 instead of 27? Telling her she looks constipated? How can you possibly think that's flirtatious?
Imageiko Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 I don't know what to say other than that was cringe worthy. You have the right idea with the flirty/teasing text message idea but your actual material needs a lot of work.
Author AloneinTexas Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 I guess whats done is done. What can I say do or send her (txt or fb message) to get things back on track.
make me believe Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Telling a girl she looks constipated in her picture is not "teasing," and I would be surprised if she gave you a chance after that. Especially since you followed it up with MORE bs "teasing." Being light-hearted and playful is one thing, but come on... the "ur mom" stuff is super strange & immature for a 27 year old. I would be immediately (& permanently) turned off to you if I was her and I doubt there's anything you can do to get things back on track now. Chalk it up to a lesson learned..
Star Gazer Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Telling a girl she looks constipated in her picture is not "teasing," and I would be surprised if she gave you a chance after that. Especially since you followed it up with MORE bs "teasing." Being light-hearted and playful is one thing, but come on... the "ur mom" stuff is super strange & immature for a 27 year old. I would be immediately (& permanently) turned off to you if I was her and I doubt there's anything you can do to get things back on track now. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.. Agreed....
coolheadal Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Always tell them they look nice or you can forget it with them..
fiatflux Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Nope that is not at all flirting. That is a guy saying weird stuff, which could've been ok if it wasn't followed up by being mean/insulting. I see you say you don't want to fawn all over her but that doesn't mean you should be downright rude. I don't think you can fix it without looking like you're groveling, which you don't want. Just hope she forgets abt it and don't make the same same mistakes next time an opportunity arises.
Author AloneinTexas Posted September 16, 2011 Author Posted September 16, 2011 sorry for the creeptacular story, ha, i guess it proves how horrible i am at dating. i consider myself more of a serial monogomoust.... anyways... i sent her a message saying good luck in her upcoming competition this weekend and ended it with this : "(Oh, BTW I was just messin yest, didn’t wanna have it come off I was insulting you or something, I forget who im talking to sometimes/or forget some ppl don’t even know me that well to know my banter/sarcasm.) Eat a wheel of shrimp for good luck (u were right tho, I am weird, lol)" tryed to apologize in a light hearted way. havent heard back, its been 12 hours. probably sunk the ship, oh well. learn and move on hehe
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