jrh1524 Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 Wishing for some advice. I'm kind of down at the minute. Maybe someone can explain to me what I'm doing wrong? A bit about me, i'm 31, 6'3", have a good job, a house, nice car, average looking, good personality imo. I just got out of a 5 year relationship and have recently started pursing dates and such. The other night I was at a bar and started talking to a woman. We bar hopped together for the night and had a great conversation. We finished up around midnight at which time she was asking me to do it again some time. I talked to her one more time, we were going to meet up Monday, kept the conversation short. Come Monday something came up and I called her to see if we could do it another time, left a message, but never heard back from her. Just yesterday there were some nurses at work giving flu shots. I got to talking to one of them, saw some chemistry and got her phone number. Called her today to see if she wanted to do something, but she was at work and said she'd call back. No call back as of 10:00 pm. I thought we had something going, but I guess not. I was talking to my father earlier about it and he said basically, "it's just women, don't worry about it, just keep trying". Do other guys on here experience this a lot? What do they do to adjust or cope?
thatone Posted September 15, 2011 Posted September 15, 2011 a) women notoriously over analyze things that they can't control. considering that, try not to be the one to cancel dates. the rampantly insecure ones will take it as a sign of disinterest on your part. b) those who ignore communication and don't return phone calls are red flag numero uno. do not contact them again. sign of dishonesty and selfishness. adjust? there's nothing to adjust. there are lots of bad people walking the streets. the fact that they are bad people is why they're single. just gotta toss em aside and go on to the next one until you find a keeper. there's nothing to cope with either. expect the worst, then you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Author jrh1524 Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 Thanks for the advice, I'm over it already.
Imageiko Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 Generally when you meet someone at a bar it's not unusual for them to flake on you. Don't take it personally.
spiderowl Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 The second one, I don't know. With the first one, it seemed you cancelled the first 'date'. You did ring her to cancel it (which is a positive) but you cancelled and apparently suggested some other time. Problem with this is if you have liked someone, thought they liked you, and then they don't call, you learn that guys don't call when they are not interested. You also learn that if they cancel, it's likely they are not interested. If they are vague about rescheduling, then you realise they are definitely not interested. You needed to speak to her, not leave a message, and you needed to follow up on that rescheduling whether she rang back or not. She may have been thinking you weren't interested and were just being polite. She was probably in two minds about calling you back and then just 'didn't get round to it' because she felt conflicted about this. A follow-up call to actually reschedule would have told her you were genuinely interested and not just messing her about.
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