Trolly Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 After 5 months i'm still finding myself in disbelief. This person that meant so much to me (and I her) is no longer with me. I'm shocked that she's dating at times even though logically it shouldn't be shocking. It makes me think of 2 types of people. Those who can just say "it didn't work" despite all the good "and move on with their lives and those who see past whatever was bad and attempt a 2nd shot. Are these rolls that are singularly embedded in us or can different lovers effect us in different ways that could bring out either? I consider the bad in my failed relationship fixable and think there was more than enough good to have warranted another chance. I think we owed ourselves that much. I'm not content to just be friends. The days do get easier, but on occasion I find myself stuck with thoughts like this
Dark Phoenix Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I think it depends on the person that you were with, and how emotionally involved you were at the time of relationship termination. For those that weren't completely indulged into the relationship, they may find it easier to just up and move on. But for those that were into the relationship 100% may dwell on the what ifs, fixing the problems, or fantasizing about a reconciliation.
ConfusedT Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I agree. I think it depends on the level of emotional involvement and the desire of both parties to fix the situation. Sad to say, somethings and relationships simply cannot be fixed due to an external situation or internal feelings of either party. It's sad that some people simply move on, but I firmly believe that if things are meant to be, they will fall into place. If they are not, things will still fall into place, just something different. Continuing to hold on continues to leave the wound open, ya know. Have to let it heal, day by day...
Troubles Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 After 5 months i'm still finding myself in disbelief. This person that meant so much to me (and I her) is no longer with me. I'm shocked that she's dating at times even though logically it shouldn't be shocking. It makes me think of 2 types of people. Those who can just say "it didn't work" despite all the good "and move on with their lives and those who see past whatever was bad and attempt a 2nd shot. Are these rolls that are singularly embedded in us or can different lovers effect us in different ways that could bring out either? I consider the bad in my failed relationship fixable and think there was more than enough good to have warranted another chance. I think we owed ourselves that much. I'm not content to just be friends. The days do get easier, but on occasion I find myself stuck with thoughts like this Budddy, if you guys are just friends how can she ever miss apart of your relationship if you guys are still in contact. if you cant be friends you gotta tell her that you cant and she should respect that. If you think it's fixable and want more than that..maybe approach the situation and tell her that, after all what do you have to lose by trying and you'll never know if you don't try? I get what you mean that you're shocked she's dating and moving forward but sometimes when people move on like that, its just to get their mind away from the facts that they miss you.
Author Trolly Posted September 15, 2011 Author Posted September 15, 2011 yeah, for the first 3 months I tried to work things out, but after she told me she had started dating I just said to hell with it. I wasn't healing and nothing was getting done the way i was doing things. I don't bank on a future of us being together anymore, but i know for that possibility to even exist we can't be in each others lives currently. Either way, I much better off than I was a few months ago. I just have those days that pain forces itself back into my life every now an then.
Troubles Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 i know what you mean, we all have our good days and our bad days. Read through your blog too, i feel on the same boat with you at the moment with all the things happening in your life, my business went downhill and i lost my neice. I don't think we can PM untill after a month of being on this but if u need someone to talk too tha can relate il set you my email or bbm pin. take care buddy
Kuite09 Posted September 16, 2011 Posted September 16, 2011 yeah, for the first 3 months I tried to work things out, but after she told me she had started dating I just said to hell with it. I wasn't healing and nothing was getting done the way i was doing things. I don't bank on a future of us being together anymore, but i know for that possibility to even exist we can't be in each others lives currently. Either way, I much better off than I was a few months ago. I just have those days that pain forces itself back into my life every now an then. Trolly, I know exactly how you feel its been 5 months for me and I am still just stuck in this hole. He is currently dating someone but yet still tells me he loves me, doesn't want to shut our door and that he still has hope because we have 7 yrs of history together. In May was when he told me he was seeing someone so I went NC and we started talking every so often in July and August, so my dumb self was thinking that hey maybe it didn't work out with the person he was with etc. Well comes out to be he called to tell me he wanted to see me soon and that he misses me etc but after a week of telling me that I found out that he is still with this person...I never understood why you tell me you want to see me? love me? miss me? and think of me? if the person is still in the picture. I got so fustrated after I found out he was still seeing her that it became a whole week of calling/texting drama. I would hear him say he loves me, he doesn't want to close the book and that things arnt what they seem like, that he feels confused, that he knows its hard to believe him when he tells me he loves me but he truly does because if not he wouldn't be speaking to me etc and that I can't tell him how to feel because he truly feels he cares and loves me etc. He kept repeating himself telling me he didn't know what was going to happen between him and the new girl etc. So this got me all confused and I had 100 different thoughts going thru my mind. After a week of the drama etc, I decided to go back on NC and leave it as that. Its super hard but I miss him and love him dearly. Here is my previous thread..... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t296078/
Recommended Posts