FeelingSmall Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 I've been dumped, finally. I could see it coming and it wasn't a shock. Nor was it surprising when he told me he was going to leave me for a girl he met a matter of only 3 weeks ago at work. I have been his doormat for a year, and here I am remaining the doormat. You know what really gets me though? The fact that he said he was no longer IN love with me when he moved in the first of THIS month. That he had already met this other girl at that point and knew. How can you do that to someone? Wait until your lives are now entwined and then make the break? He says he's still not 100% sure what he wants. He says he loves and cares about me more than anyone else in his life. Bullsh*t. Now he's not even making an attempt to look for another place to live. Just riding things out. I guess he thinks that he's going to be permitted to date this new girl while still being with me. Right now I hate myself. This whole thing is entirely MY fault. That's the worst thing about it all. I can't even really place a lot of blame on him. I saw all the signs, I knew deep down what was going to happen and I just let it. I wanted him to feel the same way about me that I did him and jumped through hoops to show him how much I cared and what he meant to me. The whole time I'm sure he was laughing at me. Now for the worst part, the part I'm so ashamed of and makes me want to throw up. After telling me all this he said he wanted to "make love to me" In those words, never before had he said that. I wanted to rip his eyes out. Instead I did it. God, I feel like a cum dumpster. I would now like to crawl in a hole and die.
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