filmbuffy Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Long story short, about two months ago, my girlfriend of 3 years came home, told me we were not working out, that she felt she no longer loved me, felt our relationship was more based on friendship than lovers. Told me she needed to spend some time alone, figure out who she was, what made her happy and what she wanted from life. Come to find out she had already met someone and immediately moved in with them. So for those of you who have been questioning "I need space", yes that does translate into "there is someone else." But I'm not bitter, oh wait, yes I am! Anyway, I am still in love with this girl and for about 6 weeks tried to remain friendly with her even though she took a great big giant dump on me. It should be noted, a majority of her breaking up with me was via email!! But it just got too hard seeing all her posts and pictures on facebooK. I had to text her and tell her I was blocking her. Ever since then I haven't heard from her until today..... She called to let me know her mother was ill, hospitalized and out of remmission for cancer. It was an awkward phone call to say the least. I am not certain why she felt the need to tell me or what I am expected to do. It was upsetting to hear that she was sick enough to have a full liter of fluid drained from her chest.... but it begs the question of why she called and what she expects. Maybe she called b/c outside of her relationship with her ex-husband, we (she and I) have the next longest history and I understand the past history and implications of this event versus the new chick who would be taking this all at face value and not understanding the back story leading up..... Not sure what I am to do here, if anything at all for that matter.... I did tell her if she ever needed anything, I would always be there for her, do I go against my word so I can continue to heal or do I put my needs aside to be there for her?
Besmy Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Hey FilmBuffy, try to be selfish for once! You're a far too nice guy! She dumped you after all, she treated you like you were nothing, forgotten? Yeah you're sorry for her mother, whatever, be even more sorry for yourself. She can rely / use that other man of hers for her needs now. Don't allow her to USE YOU any longer.
Mack05 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Hey FilmBuffy, try to be selfish for once! You're a far too nice guy! She dumped you after all, she treated you like you were nothing, forgotten? Yeah you're sorry for her mother, whatever, be even more sorry for yourself. She can rely / use that other man of hers for her needs now. Don't allow her to USE YOU any longer. This...Film it is hard when an ex we still have strong feelings for reaches out to us. We automatically want to be there for them. My ex reached out when we already had broken up. Her friend was sick and her other friends mother had died suddenly. The stress of the situation caused her to be sick herself. I took care of her (even though at the time, I was dealing with my own personal problems and put them aside to help her), was an emotional support to her when she needed me. When her friend got the all clear, I was disregarded in the cruelest of ways. Do not make the same mistake as me. Close the door and leave it closed. Explain you are truly sorry, but right now it's impossible to be friends. You will thank yourself down the line.
M2155 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 If you feel the need to respond, send a sympathy card to her (or even for her mom) simply offering your condolences. It's kind while still indifferent to the relationship.
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