if only i'm prettier, i wouldn't been dumped so quickly and completely

[dumpedandsore]

If you all have been following the news, yesterday was the miss universe paegant. While watching, I was wondering if only i look like any 1 of them (Ms Australia, Ms USA etc), would i still be dumped so quickly ? If i look like a beauty queen (with perfect face, figure, complexion and a pleasant character), would my ex dumped me so cruelly and heartlessly? Maybe he would remain in the relationship, and fight his whole life to be with me, and work to resolve our differences and never want to give me up?

 

I wonder if i have looked that good, he might not have walked out of me after a short brief r/s of 1month to 8 months. Perhaps, he would have soldier on, see me as his ms right, his one and only true love, the only soul mate, and wants to be with me for the rest of his life..

 

would i still be dumped the silent way? or dumped via text or a phone calls? Would he have treated me with more care? value and cherish me better?

 

what are your thoughts?

[stillafool]

Beautiful women are cheated on all the time. Look at Tiger's ex wife.

 

The woman who won the Miss Universe pageant is absolutely gorgeous!

[A7X]

IMO, relationships are not started if there is no physical attraction towards the other person. I however don't think that it's about looking like a bomb shell that will have someone keep you in there lives. My ex would always tell me I was hot and was jealous at how some girls looked at me, yet she still dumped me for another guy, that isn't good looking, just has money.

 

She dumped me via text after one year of me doing everything I could to make her happy, she was/is a little princess and that's how I treated her.

 

Sometimes ppl don't realise everything they have in front of them, they look at the neighbors grass and think it's greener. When in the end, they had everything they could ever need in front of them.

 

Basically a personality will make you irresistable, my ex was hot, she got tons of attention from other guys, yet now, looking back I see the real her and not even attracted to her anymore.

[dumpedandsore]

IMO, relationships are not started if there is no physical attraction towards the other person. I however don't think that it's about looking like a bomb shell that will have someone keep you in there lives. My ex would always tell me I was hot and was jealous at how some girls looked at me, yet she still dumped me for another guy, that isn't good looking, just has money.

 

She dumped me via text after one year of me doing everything I could to make her happy, she was/is a little princess and that's how I treated her.

 

Sometimes ppl don't realise everything they have in front of them, they look at the neighbors grass and think it's greener. When in the end, they had everything they could ever need in front of them.

 

Basically a personality will make you irresistable, my ex was hot, she got tons of attention from other guys, yet now, looking back I see the real her and not even attracted to her anymore.

 

 

Yeah, on hindsight, i always think my exs weren't 100% committed and sure about accepting me as their serious, long term partner, gf...as maybe they feel im not physically attractive to them. But they continue to hang on to me and carry the doubts..and coupled with the relationship problems..that surface in the course of our relationship, they then decided to turn their back on me and walk out of me when they find someone whom they are 100% sure..that she is the one for them..

 

i think this is it for my case..i pray to god one day i look as good as miss brazil

[Besmy]

Hi DumpedAndSore,

 

I do not read gossip magazines but am aware that:

 

• Billy Bob Thornton cheated on wife Angelina Jolie (that was before she met BP)
  
• Kylie Minogue was dumped a few times by different boyfriends
  
• Eva Longoria's boyfriend cheated on her with (allegedly) his ex gf
  

 

and am sure that other friends here can add more examples to this list.

 

Looking good certainly helps finding a partner but does not protect from choosing the wrong one.

[A7X]

Not to sound like a jerk, but if I was to take your outlook on things, I would be telling myself that if I had a lot of money my ex would of never left me.

 

Now think of it, would I really want to be with someone that just wants to be with me because I have money to spend on her? Seriously, my ex went down in my esteem, I don't think she is hot anymore, rather I think she is a lying goold digger!!

[ConfusedT]

OMG- please don't ever say that! You are beautiful. Beauty is NOT only on the outside honey!

I think I am beautiful on the outside and I have been put through HELL!!!!!!!!

 

It doesn't matter how you look, a douchebag is a douchebag is a douchebag. He will treat the most beautiful women like ****. He will treat the nicest women like ****. He will treat the perfect WOMAN like ****?

 

WHY?

 

because he feels like he is ****. peoples actions tell you more about themselves that they do yourself!!!

[M2155]

No, that's a "low self-esteem" way to think. My ex dumped me for someone way less physically attractive so that can't be it;). Beauty is more than skin deep. However, I AM praying my next guy is better looking than my ex though just because

 

Most of the time we get dumped because of how the other person felt about themselves or how they felt with us. Like they say it doesn't matter how good anyone looks, they can still get on your nerves eventually.

[Mack05]

Basically a personality will make you irresistable

 

That's the truth...

[OnyxSnowfall]

It isn't good to be "valued" for something that will fade and is honestly a dime a dozen. "Beautiful" people (physically) are everywhere. If physical beauty is the primary reason someone cherishes someone else, what happens when it fades and someone prettier comes along?

 

As much as I'm aware of this, I occasionally fall prey to the idea that being physically attractive is paramount (it's a bit difficult not to in America eh?). While there's something sickly addictive about the power it can command --- it is cheap. It is fleeting. And it does NOT protect someone from being mistreated, from pain and from loss etc. There can be a lot of pressure and insecurities that come along with being highly physically attractive too...

 

Work on being happy in your own skin and within your own being.

[radiodarcy]

It isn't good to be "valued" for something that will fade and is honestly a dime a dozen. "Beautiful" people (physically) are everywhere. If physical beauty is the primary reason someone cherishes someone else, what happens when it fades and someone prettier comes along?

 

As much as I'm aware of this, I occasionally fall prey to the idea that being physically attractive is paramount (it's a bit difficult not to in America eh?). While there's something sickly addictive about the power it can command --- it is cheap. It is fleeting. And it does NOT protect someone from being mistreated, from pain and from loss etc. There can be a lot of pressure and insecurities that come along with being highly physically attractive too...

 

Work on being happy in your own skin and within your own being.

 

this is a great response! i'm no beauty but i work on being happy with myself because that's all i've got

 

but yes, the pressure to conform to conventional standards of beauty is extremely high - - not to matter said standards are becoming more and more stringent for both women and men. i do the best with what i have but i'm not going to knock myself out to look like halle berry. i do have a life

[Buttercup84]

My ex was superficial and after he dumped me I almost took out a loan to get a nose job as he made fun of my " Jewish nose " . But why would I want someone who wants me as a trophy ? as others say , hot women get dumped and cheated on . I am sure you are beautiful . You want a guy who loves the whole package .

[9Lives]

good looking women get cheated on and dumped all the time. Looks is not everything.

[maylis]

I agree with what others are saying - attractive women also get cheated on and dumped all the time. And on top of that have men use them just for sex and think they can't possibly have a brain or a personality or be taken seriously.

[danceallday]

Please do not get down on yourself. Beautiful women have just as many problems (i.e. Halle Berry). My ex lied to me and had a whole parallel relationship for a year and when I figured out who the girl was I was like "Really? REALLY?" I mean she looked like a frumpy librarian. Go figure.

[Sugarkane]

Even Halle Berry has been dumped. Did you know that? That guy must've been insane!

[funnyface]

Oh gosh, please let me preface this by saying I PROMISE I'm not a conceited, narcissistic bitch. But, I would consider myself to be attractive.. I was a dancer for many years until I was too tall, and have been approached multiple times to do modeling.

 

I've been left and heartbroken too, and each time, everyone even thought that my ex was SO much less attractive! I remember not thinking my last ex as being attractive at ALL when I first met him, but I fell in love with him any way. I have been left, mostly for some kind of "crisis" or GIGS issue. The hardest thing is hearing your friends be like "wow how could he leave YOU?" Its not that they didn't appreciate you when you were with them... sometimes the guys are just messed up for other reasons!

[Mack05]

I have left beautiful girls before and went out with some girls afterwards, that 'society' would consider less attractive. In my experience, I have noticed that good looking girls (in general) can be high maintenance and bitchy (no thanks!). Where as less attractive girls, have better personalities/qualities and are easier to get along with. Plus they genuinely appreciate you more. For me, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and always will be. I give two fingers up to what society thinks.

 

One of my ex's would be considered not attractive by some, but she was beautiful to me. We didn't break-up over looks or lack of attraction. For me its about compatability and personality. I mean is there anything more attractive then a personality that really shines through? Neil Young has a song called "heart of gold" and that is what every 'real' man looks for in a woman. Let the good looking girls with superficial personalities look for big wallets and manolo blahnik's. I'm sure they will end up with male equivalents as superficial and full of ***** as they are (same for superficial guys).

 

This is a real woman -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7xCiXakVY8. Look at how she supports her man when he has a crisis of confidence. Dumpedansore u just made a bad choice with this guy. Rebuild your confidence and when the time is right get yourself back out there. You are a great catch, you just need to start believing in yourself. When you do, the rest will take care of itself.

Edited September 15, 2011 by Mack05