how to talk to girls

[shyguy21390]

i can never talk to girls i like

 

there is this girl who is friends with my best friend, yet i still cant talk to her

 

what do i say

?

[uriel]

You can always ask her questions about her interests, activities, plans, etc. That's a good conversation starter. You can then continue to show interest in her and ask more questions. Don't press -- it's not an interview or interrogation. Occasionally respond with something related from your own experience. Make a joke. Ask her if she's heard of x or y.

 

If she likes you and is responsive, then cool. If she's stand-offish and lets the conversation lag or makes you manage the whole thing, then not cool. It's probably not your fault. She's just not in to you or the circumstances aren't conducive to talking.

 

Work on projecting confidence. Psych yourself up into believing that she and anyone else who talks to you will like you. That's the key. Don't analyze every little thing as you're talking with her. Just go with the flow of the conversation as you would with someone who's already your friend.

 

There's really no difference in talking to girls rather than guys except women tend to concentrate more often on relationships and feelings. A good technique in talking to women is to mirror feelings and relationship ideas back to them: "That must have made you happy." "I can't believe he did that. Did you ever find out why?"

 

For your part, be an interesting, informed person with your own stuff going on. Be willing to talk about that. It will attract the right girl, especially if you don't seem overly self-involved or arrogant. I don't think that's your problem!

 

BTW, my husband was a super shy guy when I met him. I'd dated etc. and he hadn't. I'm sure it was tough for him to talk with me, but he made the effort. He began to share more about himself and I realized what I hadn't before, even though I'd known him for a year -- this was a really great guy. End of story .

 

-- uriel