Kageytn Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Monday was horrible for me. I woke up with a panic attack and thought of my ex all day. I cried on the way home. I posted here and had a wise person tell me some few home truths. Yesterday, though was awesome. I felt like myself again. Energetic. Calm. In the moment. Today, I hope will be even better. I've learned: 1. I don't love myself or value myself 2. I've given him way too much power 3. I can choose to think about him or work on me 4. Therapy is much needed 5. Dating is unwise I'm going to work on me. I need to love me. I don't want to be 50 still in toxic relationships. I want to value me. I want to be emotionally available and honest and not f@@@ed up. Any idea how I do this? I'm doing affirmations and therapy. I am practicing stopping negative self talk but I still don't know how to love myself.
Besmy Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Dear Kageytn, loving yourself should start by wanting NOT to be and feel as miserable as you are now. It's about being selfish = you are the most important person in YOUR LIFE. It's about removing your ex from the pedestal and realising that he is not the most amazing person in the universe but guess what, he hurt you and made you miserable. It's about learning to be happy without your ex. There are so many threads here on how to work on oneself after a break up, also in the section Coping. I suggest you read them and start putting into practice what other friends here suggest. Spend time doing what you like / enjoy to improve your mood. Every time that you start thinking about him, remember that this jewel is in reality the cause of this terrible pain. Remember that he does not want you and doesn't care about the pain you feel now, whatever he told you or did in the past for you / with you. Remember that there are millions men out there and one of them is waiting for you. A big hug
Mack05 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 Kageytn, I would add to Besmy's reply above and say forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you made in the past. When you start thinking negatively about yourself..STOP. Get yourself to the gym and work out regulary or find a hobby that keeps you active that you enjoy. Focus on your close relationships and be a better friend and family member. Volunteer for a few hours on the weekends. Write down short term and long term goals and tick them off as you complete them. All the above builds self esteem.
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